Deadpool: Agent of chaos, C'mon grab your blade!
by D-Piddy8256
Summary: Eris the Goddess of Discord has already sent Deadpool to Jump City, and Equstria to cause chaos and disharmony in his own unique and hilarious way. Now he winds up in the land of Ooo, but seems to be in a bit of a slump. Luckily a certain Vampire Queen, who's already causing chaos, decides to help Deadpool after a fist fight in her o heads, 4 personalities,gotta love it!
1. Chapter 14: Ooo Crap!

Thanks for the kind words everyone. This marks the new story of my Agent of Chaos series, Deadpool is going to start some S)*T in the Land of Ooo (Or nightosphere) . After this one I had a suggestion for NCIS, sounds pretty tempting. Let me know what you guys think.

Also, If you're reading this for the first time, you'll need some background info. Eris the Goddess of Discord/chaos recruited Deadpool to travel form universe to universe , spreading chaos in places that have offset the balance. Basically , any movie, television show, cartoon, video game, anime, etc that has too many good guys doing a good. So far he's been to Jump City against the Teen Titans, Equestria against the mane 6 of MLP, and now Adventure Time. If you like the series, don't hesitate to give a review , no flames, and also give me a suggestion on where Deadpool should raise some hell next.

FYI

Deadpool has his Two personalities in his head conversing with him all through out the series.

*The Asterisk is for personality number 1*

(Parenthesis for number #2)

Again I would like to thank those who have read my series and who have given reviews.

-D-Piddy8256

Chicago, Illinois

Hellhouse-Mercenary Club.

A soldier for hire, mercenary, free-lance assassin, hitman, however you rationalized it to help you sleep at night, it's all the same. Like former naval officers turned pirates, being a mercenary meant that the only skills you had to offer came from years of service to your country. Then you discover that your "country" doesn't love you as much as you love it. Years of service and all you get is a crap pension, a pat on the back, and sent back to civilian life. How can someone who hid in the trenches with bodies of your fellow soldiers who couldn't keep their heads down, while being shot at by 12 year old terrorists with AK-47's, and left to fend for yourself after the only chopper pilot got a case of "cold feet" and flew away with his tail between his legs…expect to relax behind a desk at a 9-5 office job?

As soon as you go back to your old ways, you need to earn. That's where Hellhouse comes in. It was basically a biker bar, pool tables, jukebox, sub-par food, except this particular bar had your middle man. Patch, short for dispatcher, was the proprietor. Imagine someone who misses the state requirement to be considered a midget by about an inch, bald head, in his 60's, and a mustache that went as far away from his face as his eyebrows. He'd set you up with a client, and he gets a cut. Simple as that. Viola your back to being a soldier.

Deadpool:" Don't give me an attitude just because you can't tell the difference between a MAC 10 and frikin pea shooter."

Weasel:" What was that? I'm sorry I couldn't hear you from up there on your pedestal, but just for arguments sake let's recap."

Deadpool:" YAWN !"

Weasel:" You ask me for 2 M10's, ….

Deadpool:" Grrrrr!"

Weasel:" And I respond with " Sure, No problem Wade. I'd be more than happy to acquire the provisions you. I mean I'd have to tell my other clients and prospective investors, people WITH MONEY, to F %K off, but you being my best friend, got Carte blanche."

Deadpool:" Don't break your arm jerking yourself off Weasel"

Weasel:" *Pounds table with fist* SUCK IT! All I did was ask you how you wanted it. You said , AND I QUOTE," Give me the biggest one you can find." The problem was you lack of knowledge in arms dealing. I go out of my to bring you two BEAUTIFUL M10 tanks, post WW2 , fitted with howitzers,….

Deadpool:" Can some beer me, I'm starting to get why you guys hate it when I stand on a soapbox and tell you all you suck. "

T-Ray:" *Tosses Deadpool a Coors Light* "

Deadpool:" Light? I asked for a beer, not a can of beer flavored foam."

T-Ray:" Just thought you'd apretiate the irony Wilson"

Deadpool:" By gicing me a warm can of hot air?"

T-Ray:" Bingo."

Deadpool:" Who sayd bingo anymore?"

T-Ray: " I DO!"

Weasel :" UNACCEPTABLE!"

Every Merc in Hellhouse just stared at Weasel.

Deadpool:" Where did that come from?"

Weasel:" Good question , a better one would be how you don't know the difference between a M10 and a Mac 10."

Deadpool:" *grumble*."

Weasel:" Oh wait, M10 is STREET SLANG FOR A MAC 10, SOMETHING I WISH YOU WOULD'VE TOLD ME"

Deadpool:" HAH! Ok , so this is my fault? If anything it was miscommunication and disregard for proper…umm….. umm…Semi-automatics."

Weasel:" Semantics…..SE-MAN-TICS."

Deadpool:" DUDE , THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

Weasel:" Oh this I have to hear *sips beer*"

Deadpool:" Would you honestly trust me , with TANK, and expect me not to F *K around with it?"

Weasel:" *SPIT* …Good point."

Deadpool:" I know right, totally irresponsible of you to assume I'd be responsible."

_?_

The Land of Ooo. After 1,000 years after the Mushroom War, the Land of Ooo had flourished. A Utopia that sprouted from the dead soil of its former Dystopian history, much of which has been lost in time, with only a few souls that remember it. Green fields wide enough to see the sunset, humid marshlands , Mountain ranges, democratic cities and Monarch ruled Kingdoms ,all filled with an assortment of mythical creatures. No one will notice if one more was added, right?

Deadpool:" *Falling*_oh beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of *_SMACK*"

* Ummm, "VEGAS VACTION", BOOYA!*

( Haven't the Griswolds had enough?)

Deadpool:" Agreed, *spits out grass* Chevy Chase can't survive his own acting *cough* why should the rest of us suffer."

The portal yet again droped Deadpool of at a high altitude. He wasn't sure if Eris just wanted Deadpool to get a better vantage point of his new environment, or if she just enjoyed watching him make as $$ of himself. Regardless, Deadpool was actually in good spirits as he scanned his surroundings. He was in a field of endless green grass that touched the edge of what appeared to be a forest.

Deadpool:" HAH! BOOYA! No water sports for Deadpool. *Does Gangnam Style Dance* "

*FINALLY, some peace and quiet *

(You mean we're starting off our escapades without running into the main characters)

Deadpool:" AND LOOK *puts hands in his face* I got my hands back, Oh just wait until I find a dark corner and a copy of "Asian Fever," I'm gonna put you guys to work."

*And he's back, should we turn around and let em rub one out?*

( As opposed to what? Cheering him on while he gets his rocks off )

Deadpool:" HAHAH! Things are starting to look up *Looks up* BALLLLS" *CRUSH*"

An early celebration only distracted him from the giant green foot. How could he have known? The last green giant he quarreled with screamed loud enough to wake up Sleeping Beauty in a coffin buried 6 feet under with a shooting range built on top. This particular green giant had the ability to blend in with surfaces rich in greenery. A Forest Cyclops, camouflaged itself as a hill side when crouched. Its back was covered in trees and other wild life. Like its name suggests, this creature had one giant eye with a pupil shaped like an 8. Stepping on Deadpool didn't even muster any kind of attention from the colossal beast.

*Are you ok?*

Deadpool:" *face in the dirt* mumble mumble mumble. "

(What? speak up)

Deadpool:"*face, stuck, in the dirt* MUMBLE MUMBLE MUMBLE."

*That didn't help*

Deadpool:" *POP* HUUUUUU *cough* , I'm in a generally happy mood."

*You like being stepped on, is this a side of your subconscious that craves punishment because your mom always gave you a cookie after daddy put out his cigarette on you?"

( Or does pain bring back memories of your mother's vagina?)

Deadpool:" That's it, I'm deleting from my DVR. You two are giving me the "Vagina Monologues" when there's a golden opportunity. Let's break in the new sword on the Jolly Green Giant."

*YES, I can't believe I missed that*

Deadpool:" *unsheathes new katana*"

Catching up with the Forest Cyclops was simple. It was only heading towards the forest, which would give Deadpool the advantage. As he caught up with it, one question had to be answered.

Deadpool:"*running* Should we go with "Attack on Titan"style or "Shadow of the Colossus?"

*What's the difference?*

( Slice where it counts, or irritate them enough to hit themselves while aiming for us)

*Maybe we should flip a coin and give our new thumbs a workout*

Deadpool:" Let's just go with the flow."

The Cyclops had made it to the outer rim of the forest before checking feet. Deadpool was climbing the tree right next to him.

Deadpool:" Come on, get a little closer.

Forrest Cyclops:" Every time I do this I end up finding something or somebody. "wipe your feet!" Nag nag nag, would it kill her to let be bring slippers?"

Deadpool:" Slippers, picking your feet, a nagging wife….these are things a giant in this world is concerned with?

*They set the bar low*

(At least it's low enough to limbo)

Deadpool manages to perch himself on a branch right above the giants massive back. The giant was still complaining about wiping his feet before entering the forest.

Deadpool:" Know what time it is?"

*Morphin time?*

( Freckle past a hair?)

Deadpool:" *Jump* AMBUSH!

Forest Cyclops: " *snaps fingers* Glob It! I forgot milk *walks in opposite direction."

Deadpool:" WHAT, HEY GET BACK HERE?"

*Ummm you might want to*

Deadpool:" He made me miss, HOW RUDE!"

( You might want to forgot reenacting "Shadow of the Colossus " and go for "George of the Jungle")

Deadpool:" NO, We are doing this, my *WHACK*"

*Ohh George of the Jungle, "watch out for the tree" whatever happened to that show?*

To keep himself from falling the rest of the way down, he had to use his new katana, on a tree. Deadpool hung with one grasping his katana and watching the cyclops that stepped on him walk away.

Deadpool:" This blows dogs for quarters, *Unsheaths other katana,* I'm stabbing something living with this even if it kills them."

(You mean "even if it kills me")

Deadpool:" Nope, it's much better when it happens to them."

*FYI, you stabed a tree, trees are living*

Deadpool:" Trees don't bleed , scream , or fight back ."

*Umm, then why is sap coming out of it at an alarming rate*

Deadpool:" Oh man! SICK!

Indeed sap was coming out rather rapidly. After Deadpool unsheathed his other katana and stabbed the tree again, the two "wounds" were close together. Usually this type of wound on a person would make it hard to heal, making the person bleed out profusely.

Deadpool:" Dude! It's getting all over me, it's all sticky. I feel like the floor of the VIP room in a strip club."

?:" *SCREECH*"

*I think you hit a sweet spot*

Deadpool:" It's a tree, that screech must be bats."

(Explain the green eyes then, seriously do it cause I'm about to S&#T a brick)

The Tree of Blight. An ebony black colored tree that radiates pure evil. It releases seeds filled with it sap to multiply and can move while being grounded. Its eyes glow bright green, and Deadpool managed to stab it twice right in between them.

Deadpool:" HOLY CRAP, This thing looks like Slenderman, heh, how much you wanna bet he's growing a whole field of em"

*Bunk that idea, and think FAST*

( That's like asking a quadriplegic to do the Hokey Pokey)

The tree doesn't waste a moment and grabs Deadpool by the ankle with one of it's branches. Compared to the giant, the tree could have a starring contest with it. It's rare to see a Tree of Blight this big. Lucky you.

Deadpool:" AHHH, *Drops katana, epuip gun* FINGERS, WORK YOUR MAGIC *click* huh *click click click* BAD GUN, OBEY YOUR MASTER AND SMITE THIS TREE!

**facepalm* sweet I can do that again, using a hoof started to hurt*

( Can we get back to the pistol, I'm guessing the sap snuck in there and jammed the firing pin.)

Deadpool:" BALLS, I should've known that, WOAH…."

A flick of the trees metaphorically wrist was enough to send Deadpool back in the air again, this time it was straight into the forest where. He wouldn't have to wait long to stop though. Another tree hit the brakes on Deadpools , but he's now in neutral thanks to the sap.

Deadpool:" I'm stuck to a tree, upside down , after my gun failed me, getting tossed by a tree, plus I screwed up my attempt to stab a GIANT….and you're making car analogies. Is this payback when I told you to shut up every 10 pages?"

Eeyp.

Deadpool:" *struggles * dammit, look, just write me a way out of this and you can go back to writing every frikin detail about the S* T that hapenes to me, make Tom Clancy proud…..Hey…..HEY WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?"

To the toilet, something you wish you could do right now!

Suddenly , Deadpool had pressing issues …..in his pants.

Deadpool:" You little brat *hold in* go back to playing god in Skyrim."

*he's gone*

( And left us in a creepy forest, stuck in a tree)

Deadpool:" Stuck with tree jizz."

*I'm surprised he didn't make some go on our lips and seal em shut*

(Don't give him ideas, it's embarrassing enough as it is)

?:" HEY BARB, *chuckle* YOU GOTTA SEE THIS"

Deadpool:" *sigh* the domino's just keep falling don't they?"

Barb:" DON'T EVEN TRY ED, WE'RE GOING TO SEE MY MOTHER."

Barb and Ed. Two spiders that tied the knot years ago, for Ed however that knot was on a noose. He's been hanging from it ever since. These spiders were pretty good size though. Imagine 3 black bean bags chairs, small medium and large, and add legs to each one.

Ed:" Barb, just look, a webless trap! This guy got drenched in sap, and is hanging upside down. He might as well be a caramel apple."

Barb:" *Walks over to Ed* Of course, ya can't eat anything healthy unless it's covered in sugar. I swear Ed you'd eat a turd if it was dipped with a candy coating."

Ed:" Wow , you had to bring that up again didn't you? I find a snack, and you turn into a mishegas."

Barb:" ME! I'm not the one who plotzes about anything edible. You don't have to shelp around everything you think we can eat."

Deadpool:" Hey, do I have to be here for this?"

Barb:" This doesn't concern you in the least schlocky"

*Did she just call us stupid?*

(It's a Jewish Spider)

*So you know what she'd saying?*

(No , I just picked up some from watching Seinfeld. Schlocky could mean she's down for a threesome for all I know)

Deadpool:" You plan on eating me, yes? I was served to zombies once, and they sent me back, wan't the best complement I got, but I'm guessing I don't taste that good….plus I have a raging case of crabs."

Ed:" *throws hand in the air* See that , pre-seasoned , covered in sap, if you don't want to share that's your decision."

Barb:" I'm not eating something that looks like a diseased black widow."

Ed:" We've been over this, I never touched that black widow , she just offered to buy me a drink, oh …and she'd have EATEN ME."

Barb:" *snorts* I'm surprised, you and the yente have something in common, you eat every piece of crap you come across"

Ed:" EVERY TIME! This happens every time the words black and widow come up in conversation."

Barb:" You we're shmoozin every chance ya got. Admit it"

Ed:" Her husband just died, I was consoling her, that's what friends do BARB!"

Barb:" Yeah, her husband dies, and she was looking for desert ya putz."

Deadpool:" I'm being punished for something aren't I?"

*Is that what we sound like, an old Jewish couple?"

( Don't be mishegas)

The Spiders banter went on and on. Deadpool couldn't check his watch for obvious reasons, although I doubt he'd want to. The shock may kill him. Like checking the clock in class every minute and then decide to wait it out. What you thought an hour that passed by you look at the clock again, ends up being 15 minutes. He figured he might as well try to fall asleep. If the spiders tried to partake in "Mercenary tar tar," they'd spit him out anyway. Not the first time Deadpool has woken up to something biting him.

_Dream( Memory of the days at Hellhouse)_

Deadpool:" Top three Donuts GO!"

Weasel:" Ouch, toughy…umm. Number 3 , Long john …..Number 2 , Red velvet…and my number one has to be the Glazed blueberry donut."

Deadpool:" Heh, a fruit donut that's been glazed, I'd make a joke about that, but we're having a serious discussion."

Weasel:" I can only imagine what your top three has."

Deadpool:" Boston Crème, Custard, and an éclair. "

Weasel:" That was easy…wait aren't Boston Crème donuts and éclairs the same?"

Deadpool:" BULLS ^T! Bostom Crème is a donut filled custard, an Éclair is a soft pillow-ey mound filled with pudding."

Weasel:" I think I remember a stripper named Éclair being described in the exact same way."

Deadpool:" *sigh* thanks Weasel, Éclairs are ruined for me now, which means I'll punch you in your donut hole if I catch you eating one."

Weasel:" An Éclair or the stripper?"

Deadpool:" PFFFT HAH!"

Weasel:" HAHAHHAH!"

Deadpool:" Just the fact that you think a stripper would hook up with a dork like you?"

Weasel:" Whatever, hey Patch what about you."

Patch:" Huh, *ponders* Got it, I had to meet a client over in Japan. I was in Okinawa and I sees me this little stand selling what I thought were fish , but they' just shaped like that. I reckoned tryin one just to feed my gut and curiousty at the same time. And boy bowdy after the first bite , I inhaled that son'bitch. Imagine a donut and a pancake got together and screwed in a batch of hot oil. Dats how good it was."

Deadpool:" …..Umm, refresh my drink , but are we still on strippers?

Deadpool:" *opens eyes* Huh, *looks around* We're still in the tree aren't we."

*Maybe, but hey, the good part is that all the blood rushed to your head*

(And now I know what taking Viagra feels like)

Deadpool:" I'm so happy for you and you're tiny metaphorical pecker, but can we focus on getting out of this. It's nearly dark out. I don't wanna end up on the tip of John Hammonds cane from Jurassic Park when they find my body in 65 million years."

*Have you tried wiggling , or doing pelvic thrusts?*

Deadpool:" No, I was sleeping, how could you POSSIBLY not know that *WIGGLE* *WIGGLE* *crack* What was that?"

He had just loosened a piece of bark. Now all he had to do was yank harder to get off….I mean out.

Deadpool:" *WIGGLE* COME *WIGGLE* ON * WIGGLE* YOU *WIGGLE * LITTLE…..

*Dude, stop!*

(Wait, let's see if he figures it out)

One final push freed the bark from the tree, but Deadpool forgot the part about being stuck to it, not the tree itself.

Deadpool:" *CRACK* OH CRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPPpppppppppp….."

Deadpool was now plummeting toward the forest floor while stuck on a gigantic piece of bark. It was like that scene in "Ace Ventura : When Nature Calls," when Ace's limbs were tied to the corners of a log raft going down the river, Spike the monkey ditches him, and Ace take a ends up falling down a the current of a waterfall.

Deadpool:" *falling* Except there's a hard floor waiting for me and not a lake…*SPLAT*"

The bark shatters, leaving only a few pieces stuck on Deadpool's suit. His healing factor kick in a bit faster since a good amount of blood rushed to his head during his time in the tree.

Deadpool" *stands up* That's the third time,*cracks back* I've fallen *Cracks neck* from a high altitude* Unzip* ….

*do you have to pee here?*

Deadpool:" No, but I will. Hours being in that tree and the sudden rush of liquid back in my bladder is not comfortable. I'm killing two birds with one kidney stone by peeing in the forest. I get to relieve myself and tell the forest how much hate it, in addition to this *hocks loogie, SPIT* DAMMIT,!" 

(You forgot to take the mask off again)

Deadpool:" What the HELL MAN? *takes off mask* I've been off my game ever since I got here. I don't get it."

*Ohhhh, wait a second*

(I concur with your "Ohhh")

Deadpool:" Enlighten me, isn't that what you're supposed to do*"

*It's actually simple dude, you spent the entire time in Equestria as a pony when Eris tossed you there. No fingers so you could't use your guns, swords, etc.*

( Don't forget the fact that you were their size having to walk on all fours, I think you lost your sense of balance adjusting to your size again, hence why everthing is off.)

*Or, and I'm thinking out loud, maybe you went a little soft after spending that time with them*

Who would've though Deadpool could be influenced like that? It all made sense, which put Deadpool in a bit of a funk. He ended up trailing back the way he came in from , through the grassy fields , flipping off the foot print where he got stepped on….speaking which.

Forest Cyclops:" If she complains about the taste difference in almond milk Vs cow milk I'm putting my foot down."

STOMP STOMP

*aren't you gonna go after him?*

Deadpool:" -

It didn't matter to Deadpool either way. Leave, go back, his slump might send him back to something even more embarrassing. Walking away was all he could think of at this point. Luckily though he managed to find a lake. Stripping down and washing away all of that tree sap was his #1 priority.

*Naked and doing laundry, we're livin it up now*

(Eris must be enjoying this)

Deadpool:" Whatever, I'm gonna let it soak a bit…*checks reflection*..oh no…...OH NO NO NO NO!…."

*What happened dude, did some of that sap get on your face?*

( Did you put your suit in a tar bit?)

Deadpool:" LOOK, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ON MY GLORIOUS ROCK HARD $$?"

_Back in Equestria (Canterlot)_

Castle Doctor:" Oh by the Princess, did Deadpool leave already, I forgot to congratulate him."

Celestia:" On what Dr.? Oh, you mean on my evaluation."

Castle Doctor:" No, on getting his cutie mark."

Princess Celestia tried her best not to laugh, but a chuckle escape her lips after hearing the news.

Celestia:" PFFT, *chuckle* .

Castle Doctor:" I don't see what's so funny , it's one of the most unique ones I've seen in a dogs age."

Celestia:" *wipes tear* You must tell what is was."

Castle Doctor:" Dr/Patient confidentiality. Sorry Princess."

_Back on Ooo_

Deadpool:" A FRINKIN COMEDY AND TRAGEDY MASK, ONE ON EACH CHEEK."

*HO-LY CRAP YOUR RIGHT*

( WTF)

*If you'r gonna do that don't text it, go for the gold*

(WHAT THE F% (NG (& _ )* Y)* &)+ )* )

Deadpool:" How did.. I….AHHHHHHHHHHHH …HOW CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE?"

An answer came in the form of a piranha fish that jumped out of the lake to bite Deadpool in the butt when he checked its reflection.

Deadpool:" *cock eyed* …..*grabs fish*…CHOMP ..YA LIKE THAT, HOW DOES IT FEEL PUNK?"

Deadpool chucks the piranha hard enough to skip 5 time across the lake after biting it. Then he thought fast and pulled his suit out of the water and put it back on with the rest of his gear. He figured that he would keep walking until he found shelter and eventually it would dry off. After about a couple of hours he happened upon a large cave opening.

Deadpool:" If my luck continues I'll walk straight into a Giant's butt hole."

Turns out it was just an ordinary cave. Dark, dank open area with the all too familiar stalagmites and stalactites a cave usually has. One thing did stand out. It was a house. Complete with a white picket fence, small grass backyard and a basketball hoop on the porch.

Deadpool" Finally, some good luck. "

*I doubt the house is empty*

Deadpool:" *walks toward the house* I don't care if it's a flop house filled with meth addicts with no teeth. All I need is a mattress and a glass pipe and I'll be rubbing elbows with the junkies."

When Deadpool made it to the front door, he raised his hand to knock, but stopped midway.

Deadpool:" Wait, what if this is a trap? "

*It could be*

( With the luck we've been having, I wouldn't be surprised if the house was haunted with a poltergeist.)

*Or a generic ghost, maybe even a werewolf, mummy, zombie, dragon*

Deadpool:" You just named the entire cast of the Munsters. Except the grandfather, he was ummm…*BONK*

?:" *sigh* I don't know who, *poke* or what you are, but you picked the wrong house to rob."

_Inside the house_

Deadpool:" Ugh, what the hell, did a stalagmite break off and land on my dome, stalagmite , tite, mite, tite, mite , which are the ones on that hang from the ceiling in a cave? 

?:" It's called a dweeb, right now anyways."

Deadpool:" What? Dweebs hang from flag poles from their underwear , not…"

Deadpool blinked a couple of times to correct his vision. When he looked straight up to confirm what bonked him on the head, he saw a long chain that came down to his back. Then when he tried moving, no luck.

Deadpool:" Am I in the sap again?"

?:" You are a sap, dweeb."

Deadpool:" Ok who the hell is calling me a dweeb and a sap? Stick to your guns and pick one. "

?:" Hey *grabs Deadpool's head* Explain yourself."

Deadpool:" Good question, ask S.H.I.E.L.D. when they're done digging up dirt on me."

?:" Wrong answer *Backhand*!

Deadpool:" OWW, Dude, that really hurt. I'm guessing you're some kind of pimp. An open backhand slap with that much force, damn. "

?:" *backhand slap* try again"

Deadpool:" … F *K, umm, champion arm wrestler *WHACK* Chris Brown *WHACK * A dominatrix?"

?:" You're not that lucky* PUNCH*."

Deadpool:" Hmmphm, tell me about it. I give up. Just tell me before I start a long list of funny yet insulting things to call you."

?:" Only if you say , "Please master."

Deadpool:" F *K that, keep hitting, *PUNCH* HHMM , ok that was my gut *Throws Up* and my lunch. Never tastes good the second time.

?:" Alright Mr. Pun, who exactly are you?"

Deadpool:" That's a long list by itself. Pick a country and I'll tell you one of my aliases. Here's a good one, where do you think I', known as "French Tickler?" *Kick* *COUGH* wrong answer, but good guess."

?:" This is going nowhere fast * sigh* fine, my name is Marceline, the Vampire Queen. If my reputation is…..

Deadpool:" THAT'S IT."

Marceline:" So you know me?"

Deadpool:" The Grandpa character in the Munsters, it was a vampire, Sam Dracula . Phew, that was eating at me for a while. *KICK* GAHH, let me guess, you're more of an Adams Family fan. "

Marceline:" You….*huff* are sooo lucky *KICK* I'm not wearing my steal toed boots."

Deadpool:" Now I'm confused , am I lucky or unlucky? Not lucky enough that you'd be a dominatrix , but just barely pass the point that you're not wearing cowboy gear? *PUNCH* *PUNCH* KICK* GAHHH,* huff* classic street fighter combo."

Marceline:" What is your problem dude? I'm starting to think you actually like this. "

Deadpool:" Not really, but for the sake of this plot line, I'll tell you who I am."

Marceline:" *Grabs Deadpool's head* Spill it!"

Deadpool:" *inhale* LEEROY JENKINS!

Unfortunately for Marceline, they were in a cave, and caves tend to carry an echo. The name Leeroy Jenkins was reverberating enough times to get her on her knees grabbing her overly sensitive ears. 

Deadpool:" Ooops, I totally forgot that Vampires have super hearing. Completely slipped in my drink…. *cough* I mean mind, slipped my mind. Not really , I just teasing, or am I , *nods yes* *nods no*?

Marceline:" LAST CHANCE, WHOARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY LAIR?"

Deadpool:" You have me over a barrel , I'll admit that. Although it feels like chains. My name is …..Stalactite!"

Marceline:" What?"

Deadpool:" That's what I thought bonked me in the noggin, man two brain farts in one day…*TWIST* Crack*"

Marceline had enough. She ended up having to break Deadpool's neck. Not because he was being as $$, or that he was avoiding giving away his identity. Well ok it was those, but also it was getting late, he would've continued even if she ignored him and went back to bed.

Marceline:" I hope it was worth the last few giggles. Oh my GLOB what a SPAZ!"

She decided to head straight to bed. Only after a good night's sleep would be willing to dump Deadpool's body outside of her cave. Marceline levitated towards her bedroom window and headed inside. A quick trip to the bathroom, brushing of the teeth , and a change into some grey pajama shorts with a beater tank top. Then she headed to bed.

_The next morning_

Marceline:" YAWN, *growns* dammit, I have to get rid of that talking headache. Maybe I'll play piñata with him before I take off the chains. "

I guess you could call it torture, at least Marcy did. While heading down the stairs to her kitchen, Macy was contemplating the "who , what , where, and why's" in the context of her intruder. At the moment she arrived in her kitchen , "how" was added to that list.

Deadpool:" Morning. "

Marceline:" WHA…How did you…."

Deadpool:" As much as I love the cute confused look on your face, I'll spare you my delightful bull crap. After you beat me like a slab of meat in a "Rocky" movie , I picked the lock on the chains with a paper clip I keep on my mouth, don't ask why, then I picked the lock on your door, letting myself in and making use of your washer and dryer. I figured it wouldn't wake you up, the undead tend to be heavy sleepers. When my outfit was nice and clean, I grabbed one of your blankets and pillows from a nearby closet and slept on the porch. Now, I'm making eggs."

Marceline:" *HISSSS*"

Deadpool:" Save it! Just to let you know, you can't kill me. I have what I like to call my "reset button", I can heal from any type of injury, but I get really pissed off as a result. As compensation by the laws of uncommon decency I made up for this rant, you owe me a couple of eggs. "

Marceline:" How about a mouth full of teeth?"

Deadpool:" That doesn't sound very appetizing , or filling. Yuck , now I've got an image of chattering wind up joke teeth walking out of my butt in a conga line."

Marceline balled up her fist and gave Deadpool a levitating dive bomb punch. It would've worked if Deadpool hadn't grabbed her arm and punched her right in her face three times, letting go after the third punch, sending her straight back to her living room. Deadpool followed.

Deadpool:" Yesterday put me in bad mood, your feet …*KICK* Oh you little.

*First fight in a new world, AND WE GET TO DO THE COMMENTARY AGAIN*

( If you're just joining , Marceline the Vampire Queen and Deadpool are now at each other's throats in her own living room)

*Maceline just gave Deadpool a swift side kick to head, Deadpool stumbles , but regains composure*

( Now both of them have raised their fists in a defensive position, Deadpool launches twoquick jabs , nailing Marceline in what I can assume is her nose)

* Another two jabs, blocked and COUNTER BY MARCY with a right hook , and another , and another, I think I just heard some teeth break*

( I think I felt it too, but there's no time for that, Marcy laces her left and right fingers and makes one hell of a fist, bringing it straight down on Deadpool's head)

*EARTHQUAKE!*

( Deadpool recovers and brings down an axe kick on Marcy. And she's down , WAIT, MARCY GETS UP…WITH A KICK UP, AND DELIVERS A SPIN ROUND HOUSE ACROSS DEADPOOLS CHIN.)

*POST MARK THAT KICK AND WRITE "I DIDN'T Miss you!" *

(Deadpool comes back with a jump front kick to Marcy chest, knocking her back a few feet)

*And Marcy responds with OMG, WTF, and LMFAO folks. IT'S TORPEDO , FLYING STRAIGHT AT DEADPOOL, AND INTO THE WALL*

( I haven't seen that move since Raiden in Mortal Kombat, and the second one, and MKIII, basically every Mortal Kombat game you see the one dimensional demi god who sure know how to get killed)

*Agreed, at least Marcy made it look good by doing the back flip at the end*

(Deadpool looks really mad now)

*How can you tell?*

Deadpool:" I'm really mad now"

( Like that, Preemptive commentary bitch!)

*Deadpool jumps straight up, and ….kicks the wall with, wait , No he pushed himself into a tuck and roll, right in between Marcy's legs and pulls off a sweep kick*

( Marcy gets knocked on the floor, too quick for her to react by levitating )

*I think Deadpool noticed that as well, using the momentum , he spins on his back, bringing legs up and on the floor, WITH ENOUGH POWER FOR A PISTON JUMP, that's a squat jump with one leg.*

(And enough power for a back flip aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnDDDDDDDDDDDD COMES DOWN WITH A KNEE IN MARCY's SOLAR PLEXUS, KNOCKING THE WIND RIGHT OUT OF HER)

*She has got to feel bad about that one*

( Deadpool heads toward the opposite of the ring….er um living room, waiting for Marcy to get back up)

*Should we do count while she's down*

( This isn't wrestling , boxing, or any other convential sport, F& K the count)

*I wouldn't say that around a vampire, especially one that just got up and is back to fighting mode*

( Wait a second, they're both running toward each , HOLY CRAP, DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?)

*IF I DON'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT ANSWER, WILL YOU TELL ME ANYWAY IF BOTH KEEP YELLING*

( YOU KNOW IT, IT'S SIGNITURE MOVE TIME)

Marceline: " VAMPIRE KICK!"

Deadpool:" SHORYUKAN!"

*AND THE WINNER IS…holy crap they hit each other at the same time, both got it in the jaw. *

( How anticlimactic)

Marceline:" ….*huff* *huff*…..

Deadpool:" *huff *…*Huff*…..

Marceline:" *huff* PFTT hehehehe…

Deadpool:" Hah, ha hahahaha..

*Now both if them are laughing , I'm guessing a draw, doesn't matter I bet on Marceline to win*

Marceline:" That , *huff* was a workout."

Deadpool:" who needs Zumaba?*huff* we'd all have abs if everybody just beat the crap out of each other before breakfast. "

Marceline was the first to get up, woozy , but manages to walk over to Deadpool and offer her hand.

Marceline: " Come on, get up *grabs hand*

Deadpool:" Damn girl * Stands up* you know how to fight. "

Marceline:" Come on, you didn't expect me to be some push over did you?"

Deadpool:" On the contrary , I was gonna use my final breath to give you my epitaph for my gravestone."

Marceline:" Hah, like I'd give you a last request."

Deadpool:" Not even if it said " Here lies Deadpool. Atheist, all dressed up and nowhere to go." "

Marceline:" HAH, only if I get to be buried next to you, with an arrow on my gravestone that's says "I'm with stupid."

Deadpool:" Classic. "

Marceline:" *chuckle* You put up a pretty good fight to. Let's try this again. I'm Marceline, the Vampire Queen."

Deadpool:" Deadpool, the merc with the mouth."

Marceline:" Did you give yourself that title?"

Deadpool:" Not by popular vote that's for sure."

Marceline:" Right, I guess you've earned the privilege of those eggs, probably cold now though"

Deadpool:" Most things taste better cold."

Both sit down at Marceline's table.

Deadpool:" Oh, I made you breakfast too, I ended up cutting myself."

Marceline:" I don't eat food."

Deadpool:" I know, unless you gave yourself the Vampire Queen title, *passes over glass* like I said , I cut myself TO make your breakfast."

Marceline:" Fresh squeezed blood, *sips* oh my glob, you taste amazing!"

Deadpool:" Phrasing."

Marceline:" *chuckle* So, what brought you in here anyway?"

Deadpool:" I guess you could say I'm on a mission."

Marceline:" what kind , hunting vampires?

Deadpool:" Hunting vampires is for emo kids and "Supernatural" Cosplayers L.A.R.P ing, it's actually tough to explain."

Marceline:" Try me"

Deadpool:" After you try me first, oh wait you're currently drinking me so that counts. Umm , To be blunt…just to raise some hell. I'm not actually from this universe. Basically, I was sent here to remind the good folks of….where the hell am I anyway."

Marceline:" The land of Ooo."

Deadpool:" Seriously , Ooo?

Marceline:" I didn't name it."

Deadpool:" Maybe it gave itself the title, or it was the planet's first word, but going back, I'm here to remind all the goody two shoes that chaos still exists. I guess my boss sent me here because things are too good, and I have to restore balance."

Marceline:" Wait, you're here*sip* just to screw around with people, are you gonna kill anyone?"

Deadpool:" Kind of defeats the purpose of reminding them. Nope, I just need to raise a decent amount of hell , and have as much fun doing it as possible."

Marceline:" Hmm , sounds like a decent gig."

Deadpool:" So far so good, only down part is that I have no clue what goes in around here. I was chasing what I like to call a giant pain in my $$, thrown by a whatchamacallit, stuck to a tree, had to hear a couple of putzes argure till I passed out, and got bit by a litteral pain in my $$. Only thing I recognized was the tree. "

Marceline:" That must suck, must have been one hell of a tree?"

Deadpool:" One them was, the other was more of….an actual…. tree."

Marceline:" *chuckle* I guess you need someone to show you the ropes."

Deadpool:" Maybe…., but where would I find such a person ."

Marceline:" You'd have to find someone who knew they way around."

Deadpool:" Job requirement."

Marceline:" Someone who doesn't mind getting their hands dirty."

Deadpool:" Job perk."

Marceline :" *sips* someone who could kick your $$ if you ever got out of line."

Deadpool:" I can always use a good $$ whoopin."

Marceline:" You realize where I', going with this right, I know you're not that much of a dweeb."

Deadpool:" I knew that 20 pages ago. Welcome to team Deadpool."

Marceline:" Team Abadeer. "

Deadpool:"Uh huh, I'm guessing that's your last name. Cute, but not on my watch. We already have a team named after a vampire , but it's more of a fan club ranging from 13-40 year old women. By the laws if good taste, team Deadpool" sounds more…

PUNCH

Marceliine:" Guess you'll just have to fight for it."

Deadpool:….bring it!

*AND WE'RE BACK FOR ROUND TWO*


	2. Chapter 15: The Sticky Maker

Chapter 15- The Sticky Maker.

We last left Deadpool when he finally landed in the new world he was sent….The Land Of Ooo. No more than a few minutes of celebration getting his old body back, he was stepped on by one of it's inhabitants. It was a Forrest Cyclops. To restore his dignity (and test out his new sword) Deadpool chased after it towards the forest where he planned to ambush it. Not only did it fail, he wound up the limbs of a blight tree. Out of the frying pan and into the fryer, one incident after the other. While washing his suit from the tree sap, our mercenary contemplated the thought that he may have lost his touch after spending so much time in Equestria. So he continued to walk the fields of Ooo all the while doubting his own abilities. Then he spotted a nearby cave. This however was the cave of Marceline the Vampire queen, Ooo's current trouble maker. Deadpool was at a loss for words , he was beaten, tossed, stuck to a tree, and bitten , but he still manages to keep his sense of humor. Marceline didn't appreciate his gusto, so like any rational vampire, she snapped his next. The next morning he was eating eggs in her kitchen. Surprised by the turn of events, the two ended up in a brawl. When it ended, the two realized that they shared a kinship. Marceline then weasel-ed (*chuckle*) her way to joining Deadpool on his crusade of Chaos.

_ Hillsides of Ooo_

After their post fight breakfast Marceline took Deadpool to the middle of Ooo. He wanted to know the lay of the land, not to mention get some insight on where to create the most amount of chaotic influence. Having one of Ooo's inhabitants was not only a tactical advantage, but it was one of Ooo's most powerful creatures as well. Plus he figured that this would be the only person he wouldn't have to lie to.

Marceline , her intentions were her own. Having lived for over a 1000's years , she grew bored , and thought her routine had become monotonous. Finn and Jake were great friends and they took her on amazing adventures, but Finn was still a kid. The white knight of Ooo was a straight arrow who never caused trouble. He had a line that he would never cross, Deadpool's line …..it shares a grave with the 4th wall. Marceline knew that he might be able to break her slump.

They stood together on a hill right in the middle of Ooo where you could most of the numerous kingdoms with a horizon that could leave you breathless.

Deadpool: NAAAAAA ingonyaMAAAAAAA Bagithi BaBa!"

Except for Deadpool.

Marceline :" *Smack* Dude, what the flip was that?"

Deadpool:" Oww, would you quit giving me the Gibbs slap."

*Circle of Life from the Lion King*

(Nailed it, or he could have turrets)

Deadpool:" *rubs head* So this is Ooo huh? Looks like the Savage Land after taking mushrooms."

Marceline:" Heh, you wish. This is just the grasslands. *Points west east* Check it out, from here we can see most of the kingdoms, of Ooo. "

Deadpool:" Wow….Please tell me you know the names, cause if you're pointing to a sign I'm not seeing it."

Marceline:" *sigh* that's the Fire Kingdom…

*Holy crap, fire island expanded, now it's a FRIKIN KINGDOM*

( This is gonna be like trying to walk naked in a corn field)

Marceline:" Recently they got a new ruler, it's my friends ex so tread lightly."

Deadpool:" *snicker* Pfft , Who do you think I am, I would never to anything indecent to a princess."

*Cologne?*

(Aqua De Gio, in the 3rd pouch to your right.)

*Score*

Marcelene:" Yuck , gross she's like 15."

*15 will get you 20 in prison , ABORT ABORT*

Marceline:" I meant she's a hot head. She kicked her Dad's butt off his throne and through him in the slammer."

Deadpool:" Girl with Daddy issues …..what brand of cologne does he wear?"

Maceline:" *Smack* Focus dork. Anyway , the Fire Kingdom, Ice Kingdom, Candy Kingdom, Castle Lemongrab, Wildberry Kingdom, Lumpy Space right above us and the Cloud Kingdom."

Deadpool:" Let me guess, all of them are ruled by a princess."

Marceline:" For sure."

*Another all girl ruling class, again, PERFECT SETTING FOR A PORNO*

( We'd need James Cameron and CG to make this place a porno)

Marceline:" These are just the Kingdoms with the most influence, the rest are just sad. We even have a Hotdog Princess, I know , lame right?"

Deadpool:" Not if there's a neighboring Chili Kingdom with Frito Lay corn chip town getting rained on by sour cream clouds city. Which one would cause the most riot?"

Marceline:" That would be the Candy Kingdom. You might like it. Everyone is eatable."

Deadpool:" Edible?"

Marceline:" I mean you could eat almost everything."

*Did she just go along with a Willy Wonka quote? I like this girl*

Deadpool:" So everyone is like what a diabetic?"

Marceline:" Close, even though they all have sugar for blood. Try to imagine a Willy Wonka in a Candy Land board game. I saw this cupcake dude with abs you can pick off and eat like gumdrops. The local hero is tight with the princess there so if anything went down in snickerdoodle town , she'd call in the white night."

Deadpool:" So no snacking on the locals?"

Marceline:" That's been my golden rule in every kingdom."

Deadpool:" I can't make that promise, if I see that the town whore is shaped like a maple bacon éclair with candy corn nipple and Cinna"Buns," then I WON'T be able to NOT stop myself."

Marceline:" *chuckle* and what give you a "Blow Pop?"

Deadpool:" Nice, but I've got a better idea."

Marceline:" It better not involve red vine whips, that's just creepy."

Deadpool:" Actually, this is my chance to create some chaos and answer one of life's greatest questions."

Deadpool reaches in one of his pouches searching for a particular item. Marceline couldn't help but get a little curious, he was from another world so she thought anything he had with him would be interesting. From what she saw it was a tiny paper wrapped cylinder , with the tope portion unwrapped into a coil. Then she saw Deadpool take a white tablet out of it and pop it in his mouth.

Marceline:" Are those mints?"

Deadpool:" Yes , yes they are. Come on . I want a "fresh" start. "

Deadpool starts walking towards the Candy Kingdom with Marceline floating right next to him.

Marceline:" Dude, what the Bjork? I told you she's tight with the local hero. Ok, here Banana guards are a joke with a peel , but Finn…

Deadpool:" Finn, that's the hero's name? Pfft whatever. It's better I meet the main character and get it over with. Besides , it's no fun unless I'm pissing someone off."

Marceline:" *chuckle* and you need a breath mint to fight Finn? Dude he's a kid too , so I wouldn't pull that thread."

Deadpool:" *grumble* I'm not some sicko trying to pick up a kid."

*No one is pulling any thread off*

(Interesting concept though, Imagine how long a porno would be if they took off their clothes thread by thread)

*I'd lose my wood before realizing the plumber didn't show up to clean the piping*

Deadpool:" I just need to do something with them, call it morbid curiosity, all I need to know is if there's soda in there."

Marceline: You mean Root Beer guy."

Deadpool:" A guy made of root beer, even better."

Marceline:" That's it? Just one person? And here I thought you'd entertain me for a while."

Deadpool:" Trust me, that's all I'll need. You see.

Marceline landed to listen what Deadpool was planning. He whispered gently into her ear. She nodded her head a couple of times before her eyes widened and all doubt about Deadpool's prowess went down the toilet Marceline told him not to leave the seat up.

Marceline:" Glob it is that true?"

Deadpool:" Oh yeah, I did it with a swimming pool filled with Diet Pepsi with someone in it."

*I remember that, it The Blob 2 hours to get out of there*

(I didn't what made it better, The blob flopping around like a harpooned whale or how mad he got when he found out it was Diet)

Marceline: " And it's actually perfect timing. The princess is throwing Root Beer Guy a party at the castle. Everyone will be there."

Deadpool:" The Castle? I', still fuzzy on the laws of physics here , is that made of candy too or am I gonna need to blow up something to get in?

Marceline:" That won't be a problem, give me your hand."

Deadpool:" Uhh, ok *sticks hand out* is this some kind of spit handshake agreement? If so let me de mask before I forget."

*But you had a mint , ice green scented spit would freshen up you mask*

( Plus Marceline looks like she'd pull a fart joke on us. Imagine what it would smell like after eating the color red. )

*Maybe cherries, like those gate way drug markers you sniffed constantly as a kid*

Marceline grabbed Deadpool's and they took off in the air. They flew high enough to see over the Candy Kingdom. She explained that it would keep them from getting spotted by the gumball guardians. Deadpool knew she could float , but what came next was her entire body turning invisible along with him. They managed to make it past the guardians without them noticing.

All Deadpool could think about when he gazed at the edible city was Candy Crush Saga. Everyone was a living entity of pastries, candy treats , and all forms of sugar. Even the building were elaborate fixtures that would rival any artisan gingerbread house on the Food Network. The towns people were heading towards the Castle where Root Beer Guy was the guest of honor.

Deadpool:" Umm, maybe we should try just breaking in, I've been off my game and …."

Marceline looked down at Deadpool while still in the air. This was the guy that didn't have a problem getting in a fist fight with a vampire , but this was their first …I guess you could call it "mission" …together. Why was he getting cold feet all of a sudden.

Marceline:" Don't go limp on me know Mr. Merc with the mouth. Grow a pair and get over it."

Deadpool:" That only happened once!"

*And it was with She Hulk. Green chicks are hot*

(But little Deadpool get's confused with a grown women with abs)

Marceline:" I mean don't wuse out on me know. This is your debut. Forget all the bunk that happened before, and live a little."

Deadpool:" WHOA , you're telling me, Deadpool, the master of disaster…

*That was Appolo Creed in Rocky*

Deadpool:" The King of Improv…

( That's Robin Williams)

Deadpool:" The street rat of Agrabah…

*That was Aladdin, where is he going with this*

(Wasn't Robin Williams in Aladin?)

*Not in the 2nd , that was Dan Castellaneta*

(Homer Simpson, what's he doing in Agrabah , looking for "do'h pe")

*Wait…looks up Sweet this place is rated PG , guess we can do drug jokes*

Deadpool:" And you, a vampire , are telling ME to live a little, that's like the pot calling the Kettle N***."

*Can't do those jokes*

( That's racist yo)

*He said Nazi, see three asterisks. Now who's the racist Yo*

Marceline:" Then put up or shut up. "

Deadpool:" Shut ….up…..ME…Now you done did it sista. Get me in the roof and enjoy the show."

Marceline:" Just what I wanted to hear"

Of course Marceline had to mess with him, so she let him go midair. Her plan was to catch him before he hit the Castle roof. It didn't occur to her that he'd go into nose dive position making him look like a red bullet.

Deadpool:" YAAAAAAYYY BOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY!"

_Inside The Candy Kingdom Great Hall_

The candy people gathered inside the great hall with great enthusiasm. Parties at the castle have been legendary. Seats were lined up facing the stair way where there was a stage and podium set up. People quickly took to their seats while Peppermint Butler served everyone refreshments.

CRASH

Starchy:" What in sam hill was that? "

Pepperimint Butler:" Oh I', sure it's nothing , the Princes is probably busy….

Starchy:" Makin some kind a zombie hoo doo again, Strachy knew she'd play Glob again and bring back the dead, Starchy gonna grab his shovel and put the smack down on em"

Starchy left the castle to go get his shovel leaving Peppermint Butler worried to tend to whatever made the noise. He hands his trey of beverages to Cinnamon Bun thinking he couldn't possible screw this up.

Peppermint Butler:" Bring these to our guest while I tend to um, whatever that was. Is this too much for you handle?"  
Cinnamon Bun:" Uhh, no. "

Peppermint Butler:" Are sure, break one glass and the last known felling you shall experience is my WRATH!?"

Cinnamon Bun:" Uhh no."

Peppermint Butler:" No you won't screw this up or no you can't handle it."

Cinnmamon Bun:" Uhh no"

Peppermint Butler:" *sigh* Congratulations Peppermint Butler , you've created a parrot. Just do whatever."

Peppermint Butler ran up the stair leaving the responsibility of the distributing beverages to the Candy People.

Jake:" Yo CB , hit me up with a drink."

Cinnamon Bun:" Uhh, NEVER *Gulps down all the drinks* AHHHHHHHH runs away"

Smack

Finn:" What's up with CB?"

Jake:" Drank an entire tray of juice."

Finn:" And why is he acting all poo brain on the floor?"

Cinnamon Bun:" I SEE DEMONS ! AHHHHH"

Jake:" He's jacked up on sugar, then he ran into the wall, now…well that's just Cinnamon Bun."

Finn:" What eves, lets grab our seats bro. I'm totally psyched right now about this movie Root Beer Guy made."

Jake:" Umm, I may have told a little fib. It's not so much a movie , as it is a book….It is a book….just a book…."

Finn:" Oh man Jake! Tell me this is a movie based on a book."

Jake:" Naw , you're past the point of no return dude. Root Beer Guy wrote a book and he's gonna bore you to tears. "

Finn:" GLOB IT. This is pay back when you controlled my body and I made you read that book on about the authors bunk up dreams."

Jake:" Finn..Bro…I thought you'd be happy. Root Beer Guy started a best seller , I only told you it was a movie so you wouldn't bail on him. This is about supporting a struggling artist, sharing his literary talents with all of Ooo, and celebrating his triumph over writers block."

Finn:" Pfft, you're just waiting till I'm bored out of my gourd, fall asleep with a glop of whip cream in my face and you ready with a feather tickling my nose."

Jake just stood there with a can of whip cream and a green feather he plucked off of Choose Goose's hat.

Jake:" No idea what you're talking about."

_Castle Attic_

Peppermint Butler raced towards the attic all sweaty and shaky. He gasped when he opened the door to the castle attack and saw what happened.

Peppermint Butler:" My Word, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CHEW THROUGH THE BARS."

Zombies:" Uuuggh"

Peppermint Butler:" DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES. I BROUGHT YOU ALL BACK FROM THE DEAD, DON'T THINK I WON'T RE-NEG MY PLANS."

The attic almost looked like a prison , with a horde of candy people zombies on the other side of the enormous cell.

Zombies:" Uhhhh uhhh UHHH."

Peppermint Butler:" Just SPIT IT OUT MAN."

Zombie#1:" *cough* "Jeez, I'm trying to tell you that…"

Deadpool:" Someone is behind you with a candy cane bat , how did you not get that? *WHACK*"

Deadpool:" Hey, you guys want me to let you out?"

Zombie #1:" No thank you , we're cool. We're zombies ….so like if you did that then we'd uhhh would eat everyone, including you ….cause that's kind of what we do…cause we're Zombies."

Deadpool:" So I'm not good enough for you to eat, fine your loss *Looks at Peppermint Butler* and lick my gain. "

_Great Hall_-

Princess Bubblegum: " Attention subjects, please take your seats as we are about to hear a passage from one of our own citizens , who has produced a fine piece of literature that has become Ooo's best selling novels . Join me in lending him you nonexistent ears his as he reads an excerpt from "The Chronicles of Joe Milkshake." Give a round of applause for Root Beer Guy."

Crowd: *loud clapping*

Princess Bubblegum took her seat next to Finn andJjake, leaving the stage for Root Beer Guy.

Finn:" Hey peebs, how good is Root Beer Guy's Novel."

Princess Bubblegum:" Total snore fest. I got to the introduction before passing out. I mean what the hey Finn you know I'm down with the science. "

Root Beer Guy:" Umm, thank you all for coming. And now…Chapter one ….ahem…."Danger. That's my favorite thing next to pudding packs, because no one doesn't not hate on pudding. I was about to enjoy my pudding in my office , when I noticed my spoon was missing. Who knew my first case was my own, the case of the missing spoon, that I misplaced, somewhere on my desk, underneath all my sketches of unicorns…

Finn:" *snore*

Smack

Finn:" JAKE YOU BUTT!

Jake:" Hehehe, check pleeeaseeee!"

Root Beer Guy:" …..so I just through pack the pudding like a shot, choked on it a bit, but I knew the risks when I took on this case, cause that's how Joe Milkshake rolls, danger..

Deadpool:" I'll take that."

Out of nowhere Deadpool appeared on stage grabbing the microphone away from Root Beer Guy.

Root Beer Guy:" Heeeeey, I was just getting to the good part."

Deadpool:" Really? Did it involve two Milfs fighting over a bottle of Adderall in a small pool of said pudding?"

Root Beer Guy:" What's a milf?"

Deadpool:" I'll take that as a hell no.*into the microphone* Ladies and gentleman, have you ever had that "not so fresh" feeling? I don't mean when Aunt Flow comes by to watch the Crimson Tides in panty land, I mean the stank that comes from bad breath, like if you were to eat a whole bulb of garlic just to piss off a certain vampire ….

Deadpool wrapped his arm around Root Beer Guy and slowly put his face near his.

Deadpool:….*BELCH*

Root Beer Guy:" OH MY GLOB THAT'S AWEFUL!"

Deadpool:" I know right, just wait till you smell what comes out of door number two, but don't worry folks I took care of that in the Princesses private toilet , don't worry I put the seat down…

*No he didn't*

(Gross)

Deadpool:" But what can I do about this terrible breath that's currently melting the paint off the walls, SO GLAD YOU ASKED."

Finn:" psst Jake, is this part of the book? Is this like one of the villains? "

Jake:" Dude I didn't read it either, but I'm hooked if this guy is in it."

Princess Bubblegum: "*stands up* WHAT THE HEY? WHO AND WHAT ARE YOU?"

Deadpool:" Please hold your questions till after my presentation , and I will totally not answer them. ANYWAY BACK TO ME. Right now my breath is in full stank mode. Every time I take a breath a baby angels wings burn off. "How do I fix this" I ask myself "Good question you good looking son of a B****" I answer. *Reached in pouch and pulls out* MENTOS , the mint so powerful you'll have to defrost the roof of your mouth with an ice pick and blow dryer. Unlike other mints that aren't even good enough to put on a hotel pillow….

A rope is tied on Deadpool's wrist, which he gave a hard tug to bring out Peppermint Butler tied down and conscious. He grabs him with one hand to display him to the audience.

Deadpool:" Unlike other mints that sit in the back of your throat dry humping cavities in your teeth..

Peppermint Butler: " I'LL KILL EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!"

Deadpool:" *Smack* Ruuuuude! As I was saying, mints like this don't even compare to the power of Mentos. DEMONSTRATION TIME!

Root Beer Guy was now in Deadpool's grip along with peppermint butler. Back in place underneath his armpits….

Root Beer Guy:" DID YOU RUB GARLIC ON YOUR PITS? THAT'S JUST WRONG!"

Deadpool:" Don't question greatness, *holds Root Beer Guy up* This is your brain *holds up Peppermint Butler* This is well….a mint…plain ordinary powerless mint…..

Pepperment Butler:" *HISS*"

Deadpool:" This is your brain on the mint."

Insert Tab A into slot B, that's all Deadpool could think of when he started jamming Peppermint Butler into Root Beer Guy. Since he was a living glass of root beer, all Deadpool had to do was put 2 and 2 together, or inthis case, squeeze Peppermint Butler in Root Beer Guy. The result was instant.

Root Beer Guy:" Umm, just to let you know PB, I'm not that kind of….*shake* oh no *shake * AHHHH "

Foam started to burst out of his head like a geyser. Root Beer started to pour on everyone in the Castle.

Finn:" GROSS , I gots Root Beer Guys stuff all over me."

Deadpool:" I KNOW, Terrible isn't it? Imagine what would happen if I added a Mentos into the pot. D'oh what the heck I'll do it anyway. *Drop* "

The "Root Beer" Guyser was now at full power. It gave enough pressure to burst through the castle ceiling. Deadpool grabbed Root Beer Guy and held him like a fire hose on full blast , aiming it at everyone in attendance.

Deadpool:" _*singing* It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better with life."_

Lumpy Space Princess:" AHHH, MY LUMPS ARE ALL STICKY. THIS IS NOT HOT!"

Deadpool:" _and Mentos is fresh and full of life!"_

Princess Bubble Gum:"*Spit* *cough* AH Yuk, Banana guards , BEAT HIM UP GOOD!"

Banana Guard Squad:" WEE OOH WEE OSPLOOSH *hit by on coming fountain beverage*"

Deadpool:" _Nothing gets to you, staying fresh staying cool._ "

Guitar strumming

Marceline brought her guitar and was floating above the foam that was now pooling on the castle floors.

Marceline:"*singing* _WITH MENTOS FRESH AND FULL OF LIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFEEEEE!"_

Deadpool:" YOU KNOW IT!"

She joined Deadpool on stage while he continued spraying everybody with Root Beer.

Marceline & Deadpool:" *Both Singing *_ "Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness, fresh goes better _

_with Mentos, fresh and full of life!"guitar solo_

After all of that Root Beer Guy layed down empty with Peppermint Butler Still inside him, except he lost his color and shrank to the size of an actual mint. It was at this time Deadpool and Marceline both popped a Mentos.

Peppermint Butler:" GET ME OUT!'

Root Beer Guy:" Come Ooooon. Don't yell in my…everything."

Marceline :" That was epic! I had you pegged all wrong dude, I was laughing outside the entire time. "

Deadpool: Don't thank me thank MENTOS: THE FRESHMAKER!"

Folks, try to imagine Deadpool taking up your entire computer screen holding a Mentos packet in his and with a thumbs up cracking a smile beneath his mask and looking right at you.

Marceline:" Bleh, actually these kind of suck."

Now he's looking right at Marceline with a disappointed look

Deadpool:" Are you kidding me!"


	3. Chapter 16: Lemon Grope

So far you guys have suggested I send Deadpool to the NCIS world, the Regular show and The Sonic Universe. All good and keep em coming. BTW, some of you are a little confused about how Deadpool's personalities work.

*Any text that's in between the Asterisks is personality #1*

(Parentheses is the #2 personality)

If you see the ** in the dialogue it describes someone's action

Keep in mind these are Deadpool's alternate personalities that talk to him inside his head. If you're familiar with the work of Daniel Way, then you know these are usually written in the form of thought bubbles.

_Weasels Workshop_

Weasel: Ohhhh, I can't wait to oil you up baby."

Door bursts open

Deadpool:" HEY OOHHHH, Sup Weasel?"

Weasel:" DAMMIT DEADPOOL, Don't you ever knock?"

Deadpool:" And what, miss you playing "Whack a mole" on your "Wii U". "

Weasel:" Pfft, whack a mole? That game's so easy to beat, just use your hands."

Deadpool:" *snicker* I can*snicker* I Can't*resists* oh who am I kidding ,HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA, Whack a mole is easy to beat on your Wii U because you use your hands. You've been down here so long you forget that they invented this word called INNUENDO. "

Weasel:" Yes I get it , masturbation , hahahaha, I'm kind of busy right now."

Deadpool:" Yeah me too, I gotta kill a mob boss, remember , that's why I asked you to modify my M16. "

Weasel:" *sigh, stands up* Fine, let me get it before you make any "extend" jokes. *Grabs high polymer case* Here you Go *slams on table* modified 18 inch barrel , muzzle brake, and free float tube."

Deadpool:" Free float tube?"

Weasel:" A little something extra. Helps take the pressure of when you fire. Makes it all the more accurate baby."

Deadpol:" Weasel….will you marry me?"

Weasel:" Get in line, now how about my payment?"

Deadpool:" I wanna Divorce."

Weasel:" *Grrrr* I can't do this with you again Wade. I don't do Pro-bono work."

Deadpool:" Look, I can't do this without the gun. It's either that , or kidnap Mark McGuire and shoot him up with steroids."

Weasel:" How does that even help. That's like giving meth to a kid on Adderall."

Deadpool:" I throw the bullet at him, he swings and hits said bullet hard enough to go through my targets fat garlic infused head."

Weasel:" You do know that there's 1 in 10,000 chance of being hit by a baseball, do you know the odds of even hitting the bullet are? Forget it dude."

Deadpool:*I'll pay you after I get the job done. Scouts honor.

Weasel:" You were a scout when you were a kid?

Deadpool:" More like a lookout. If you can't do it for me, do it for the community , do it for the children."

Weasel:" Woah wait, this guy's traffic kids!?

Deadpool:" Nope.

Weasel:" Is he beating his own kids?

DeadPool:" Nope."

Weasel:" Then what kids are you talking about dingleberry ?"

Deadpool:" Dude, who do you think hired me."

Weasel:" *facepalm*

_Marceline's House_

With the Candy Kingdom now soaked to the candied bones (Dem Bones, remember those, whatever) Marceline and Deadpool high tailed it back to her cave. While walking in wieth Deadpool, Marceline realized that she was smiling the entire time. From when she dropped Deadpool to this moment in time. Baring her fangs was something she tried to avoid, conditioning herse;f to smile with both lips still closed. Now she looked like she was ready to suck the blood of a standup comic that just told her a dead baby joke. Regardeles , she followed Deadpool in the kitchen and sat down at her table.

Deadpool:" Yo can I boggart one of your Soda's?"

Marceline:" *still laughing* Defs bro, I only have diet though."

Deadpool:" No Prob..

*bends over to grab soda in fridge,

gotta keep my girlish figure *smacks butt*"

Marceline:" Whatever you say sugar tits. So tell me , who taught you that trick?"

Deadpool:" *Sits down and opens soda can* " Heh, everybody on my planet know it. It's like an urban myth that every idiot kid with a bath tub wants to try."

Marceline :" You got some bunked up people dude. "

Deadpool:" *chuckle and sip* You're tellin me. The guy that use to make guns got involved in a cult that worshiped the Helix Fossil?"

Marceline:" Uhh, I'm drawing a black."

Deadpool:" It's from a video game."

Marceline:" HAH! For real?"

Deadpool:" Oh yeah."

Marceline:" *chucke* *sigh* But, everything else was so funny, do you do that with every job?"

Deadpool:" I think the legendary porn star Ron Jeremy said it best " Work can be fun if you make." Except his job was fun. Plus my healing factor is like a safety net. I can concentrate better without having to worry about dying."

Marceline:" Oh that's right , I broke your neck. What's the limit on that baby anyway?

Deadpool:" Never been anxious to find out. Thing is, it works "too well." *sip*

Marceline:" *gets up to grab a glass* Too well? Oh I gots to hear dis."

Deadpool:" *sets can down* I'll show you."

With a yank from his sheath and a flick of the wrist, Deadpool sliced off his middle finger. Something countless people wanted to do.

Marceline:" DUDE, YOU LOPPED OFF YOUR SILIENT CAR HORN. WHAT THE FLIP?"

Deadpool:" Wait for iiiiiiiiittttttt. Allow me.

Deadpool lets his blood drain into her glass

Deadpool:" Heh, talk about popping the cork .

He tucked his other fingers in just to make sure it would stick out once again to its former glory. In record time the finger that raises eyebrows in one flip has been erected.

Marceline:" Woah. "

Deadpool:" Sometimes I make a joke about it. Like "Dude , my fist wants to hit you so bad it's getting a boner." "

Marceline:" Well don't make it a habit of getting a boner in lair."

*DAMN, Perfect time for a joke*

(I'm not that enthusiastic about getting a hard on with someone who can drain our blood dry(

*THAT'S THE JOKE, *hint* *hint*

Deadpool:" heh, don't fret none. I'm not a necrophiliac. Come to think of it…are there any humans on Ooo."

Marceline:" *swirls glass* Oh just one."

Deadpool:" YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

Marceline:" It's 15."

Deadpool:" Nooooooo"

Marceline:" But it's not like the po po's are gonna get ya. Laws are different in everykingdom."

Deadpool:" YESSSSSSS."

Marceline :" Sadly the human's a girl lover boy."

Deadpool:" Nooooooo. You're showing no mercy for my prostate, Coitus Inter-up-tus."

Marceleine:" Your welcome *Drinks whole Glass* *BELCH* and that's the single that the tank is full. Ok *stands up* Sleeping arraignments….

Deadpool:" I prefer whatever side the door's on, in case I needs a good exit strategy. Oh and please tell me you've got a mirror on the ceiling. I have a vampire fantasy theory to test."

Marceline:" Not a chance in Nightoshpere. I have a couch that…

Deadpoool:" Naw it's cool, I already set myself up with a sleeping bag outside."

Marceline:" Outside?"

Deadpool:" No offense , but I'm taking precautions in case you decide to get a late night snack."

Marceline:" Hmmff , You think that once I peeps your bod when I got munchies, I'll just help myself?"

Deadpool:" Nope, just my morning erection."

*Nailed it*

( It rises with the sun , how convenient)

Marceline: Gross Dude, can we skip talking about your junk and go to bed. I actually need sleep."

Deadpool:" Heh, I'll have plenty of time for that when I'm….oh yeah , the whole immortal thing . What i-evs. "

Marceline:" *heading upstairs * Wait , that healing crap, makes you immortal?"

Deadpool:" *Heading towards the patio* Yuppers, So I gots time to kill, Sleep tight, don't bite the bed bugs. *closes patio door."

Marceline:" I see…"

Marceline tried her best, but couldn't get a lick of sleep. She kept thinking about what Deadpool said. His healing factor, like Wolverine, made him practically immortal. She could count the creatures and people that were immortal on one hand, in this case Deadpool was no the thumb on the other hand.

She knew what it meant to be immortal. Living over 1,000 can take it's toll on any individual. Marceline had her own war in her mind just to accept that fact. To her it was more of a curse than a gift. The one question she had, was how can Deadpool be so happy, knowing the price of immortality?

_Deadpool's Head_

Deadpool:WHAM "Hi-dy HO WEASEL!"

Weasel:" Sup DP , how's tricks."

Deadpool:" It's all good brother. Watcha working on?

Weasel: My finest hour. I can make the biggest frkin gun on the planet , but this…..this is not a gun….this is art."

Deadpool:" Uhh nope, It's a rifle, with a wood finish? I told you not to watch The Home & Garden network after Sons of Guns.

Weasel:" This is a custom weight rifle. Fully calibrated to meet the requirments for a certain person who lost two finger. "

Deadpool:" Let me guess, a Yakuza gang member with "no-no's" on his record?"

Weasel:" Nope this is for "Johnny " tres" finger."

Deadpool:" Uhh, you mean "Johnny dos."

Weasel:" No, he only has three finger, why would you call him dos?"

Deadpool:" Cause, he lost two fingers."

Weasel:" He doesn't need his name to be a remind ding-bat."

Deadpool:" Whatever, can I try that out?"

Weasel:" *sigh* Go ahead."

Deadpool:" *grabs gun* hmm, how very James Bond-ish, you should put a handicap sticker on this. "

Weasel:" *sarcasm* Ha ha."

Deadpool:" Stand over at the shooting range. I want to see how off this thing is."

Weasel:" What? Dude no way."

Deadpool:" Come on, what if Johnny get a prosthetic and ya have to re-calibrate it. Dontcha wanna know how off it is.?"

Weasel:" It should be about an inch or two, let me set up some targets. That's actually a good idea."

Weasel grabs a few target and puts them up on what he calls his "Firing range." It was just the newspapers he collected covering the basement wall with a black tarp. He puts the last one up high so…..

BANG

Weasel:" WHAAA….*freezes* *turns around."

Deadpool:" DON'T MOVE* runs over with a tape measurer* Hmm let's see…two inches off."

Weasel:" *Huff puff* Do *Huff* I wanna know *Puff* what you were aiming for?"

Deadpool:" While you had your sweet little butt staring me in the face with it's brown eye, I tuned it into a target. Good thing you "bag of treats" retreated. "

Weasel:" *turns around* Next time you use my butt as a target, I'll use yours as a silencer!"

Deadpool:" 1. It ain' t *FART* that silent. 2. No interest in your butt unless you're a coke mule."

Ring

Ring

Weasel:" Get that would ya, I;m still working on getting my balls out of my throat."

Deadpool:" What am I your secretary? *walks to phone* Dats sexual harassment motha F***"

Ring?

Deadpool:" *picks up phone* Home of the Whopper what's your beef?...Oh hey Johnny , yeah it's Wade…..uh huh….uh huh…Oh…ok I'll tell him*hangs up*"

Weasel:" Was that Johnny "tres?"

Deadpool:" Yes …...aaaaaand no."

Weasel:" Spill it Wade."

Deadpool:" Let's just say, he now has a reason to be called Johnny "dos."

Weasel:" He…lost another?"

Deadpool:" Not so much lost. You know that knife game you where you get F***ing plastered and you try to stab in between your fingers."

Weasel:" Yes?"

Deadpool:" Yeah, someone dared him to use a gun and he shot one off, and not in the good way."

_Next day:Candy Kingdom_-

Cinnamon was surprisingly could at cleaning up messes, not ones that he made, because he's usually unaware of them. The Great hall of the Candy Kingdom castle were scrubbed clean and every citizen had to report for a mandatory shower ( Not what you think). At this point the Princess was furious. Despite Root Beer Guys monotone voice putting the entire crowd in a boredom induced coma, Deadpools arrival dispelled all thoughts of RBG's book, and went directly to the wanted posters.

Finn and Jake entered the great hall with grossed out faces. Every step they took inside was met with a peculiar sound. Princess Bubblegum descended the staircase when their arrival was announced by a worn down version of peppermint butler.

Princess Bubblegum:" Thank you guys for coming, I know it…

Jake:" Hold it, *lifts foot* your floor sticking on my doggy feet. *step* *step* it's kind a annoying.:

Finn:" Totes P-bubs, need any help de-sticking up the place."

Princess Bubblegum:" *sigh* After what that D-list clown did to my castle, it's been a non-stop cleaning spree."

Jake:" *step* I think I stepped on a bug, no wait….it was already stuck on the floor."

Finn:" Jake, that's harsh dude."

Bug:" YOU REPLACE YOUR FLY PAPER WITH A STICKY FLOOR, I SHALL DIE KNOWING MY ENEMY OUTSMARTED…."

Jake:" You hear something?"

Princess Bubblegum: " AHEM!, as I was saying, the antics of the aforementioned BUTT….I'm ordering my banana guards to do house searches within the candy kingdom, however you two will search for him everywhere else. "

Finn:" Um, cool beans. Any leads?"

Princess Bubblegum:" Nope."

Jake:" Any clues?"

Princess Bubblegum:" Zilch."

Finn:" We're going in this blind aren't we?"

Princess Bubblegum:" As a bat wearing bifocals."

Finn:" Oh Wads!"

Princess Bubblegum:" It is your sworn duty to protect Ooo form any threat that may befall on it. I'm counting on you Finn. I honestly don't know who he is or why he did this. Please, help me"

Finn couldn't resist that face. That smooth pale pink face with come hither eyes.

Finn:" Yes milady. Come on Jake, let's get the skadow outa here and go find ourselves a clown."

Jake:" Oh, now you wanna find a clown….hehe duty."

Both of Ooo's heroes had been given their mission. Seek out the red and black clown, and kick em in the boingloings. Once they were out of the castle, a figure appeared right next to princess bubblegum. He's presence made a sort of rattle that Bubblegum was all too familiar with.

Princess Bubblegum:" Follow them."

?:" Yes my Princess."

_Marceline's house _

Deadpool:" *opens patio door* AHH, I feel good. "

*How you sleep on wood is beyond me*

(He slept on his back, how could….OH you meant the wood patio)

Deadpool:" Hey Marcy, you up yet? "

Marceline:" AHHHYAAA"

Marceline tried a different tactic this time. She remained invisible when she woke up, and hovered near the patio door to deliver an axe kick to Deadpools head. Too bad he already put on his straps with his katanas. Instinct took over when he pulled one out far enough for her boot to land on, cutting the heel portion in half. Now it was personal.

Marceline:"*reappeared* those were my new boots. WHAT THE MATH?"

Deadpool:" Tsk tsk tsk, those create so much drag I could feel the breeze go by when you flew over me."

*When did vampires where designer clothes?"

(Interview with a Vampire, how they came to sparkles I'll never know)

Marceline:" *floated in front of Deadpool* Fine, next time you get the steel toed boots, and I'll turn your family jewels into buried treasure. "

*Is she coming on to us…nice*

Deadpool:" Whatever *cuts wrist* Come and get it!"

Marceline:" Eeew, get a glass dude."

Deadpool:" Ohhh *walks over to kitchen* too good to bite my wrist huh? *grabs wine glass and drains blood* Breakfast is served."

Marceline:" *floats over and grabs glass* *sniff* I don't know if it's that healing factor , or whatever you called it, *sips* but it's like adding vodka to a bloody mary.''

*Hey, that means they have booze here*

(Bloody mary, did she just give us the corniest response or am I drunk)

Deadpool:" Couldn't tell ya, I don't suck blood, or anything beyond a …heh, theirs actually a list am making in my head of things I suck. Go figure, but lets get to the task at hand. I'm pumped up and ready for the next one. Ya got me back in my groove so lets go to some place really uptight."

Marceline:" *sip* Oh that's easy."

Marcy grabbed a map of Ooo that she had been updating after the Mushroom war.

Marceline:" Take a look at this *points finger on map*"

Deadpool:" Castle Lemongrab? Holy crap, why did draw so much on this …it's like a Rorschach test."

*I see…a huge $$ lemon dropped in the middle of a hoard of Titans*

( I see a P**** with a C*** in the middle , using Tes**** as shields , it's like an Erotic coat of arms)

*Ok , in the name of Basement Jaxx, Where's your head at dude*

Marceline:" *sip* Princess B built it in a high altitude area, after that there was a power struggle among the Lemon People, so now it's in the desert and looks more like a prison. "

Deadpool:" Lemon people, okay?"

Marceline:" No dude, listen..this guy is the most annoying , loud, and completely bunked up creature you'll ever see. He wigs out over didly squat, and the way he yells…Freddy Kruger nails on a chalkboard."

Deadpool:" And we're going after him ….why exactly?"

Marceline:" He's just a spaz, he treats all the lemon people like cattle in a prison.I'll show you. Let me get dressed and we'll leave."

Knock Knock

Finn:" YO MARCY, It's Finn and Jake."

Marceline:" Oh glob. "

Deadpool:" What? It sounds like some kid. Probably sellin cookies or something."

*That's the girl scouts*

( Boy scouts sell popcorn covered in sugar)

Marceline:" Remember when I told you about the Hero of Ooo being tight with the princess."

Deadpool:" Nope, I was thinking about ponies."

Macreline:" *grr* that's is the hero of Ooo. "

Deadpool:" Ummm Girp."

Marceline:" I'll stall em, just…hide or something."

On that note, Deadpool high tailed it out of the kitchen. He ran upstairs in Marceline's bedroom, looking for any place that could conceal his big butt.

Deadpool:" HEY, MY BUTT IS AS HARD AS CHINESE ALGEBRA WRITER"

Sorry, his rock hard butt. Deadpools head was in full tunnel vision , everything was a blur and all he saw was her closet. He ran over while opening it , closing it behind him, and hid in the farthest corner.

_Marceline's Door_

Marceline:" Yo…Who's knockin ?"

Finn:" Hey Marcy, it's Finn?"

Jake:" I'm here too ya know."

Finn:" We popped by to ask ya a few things."

Marceline:" uhh, sure, let me change and I'll let you guys in."

Marceline turned around to see if Deadpool actually obeyed an order. He was nowhere to be found on the 1st floor , good enough. Deadpool ran upstairs as fast as he could, and went into the only room with a door already open. The last thing he wanted to happen was have the Princesses errand boy. A closet was to his right , so he figured this is basic hide and seek rules and he was the only one playing. He opened it and quickly tucked in the corner, just far enough to where he can see what was going on.

*Phew, running from a kid, we've hit a new low. Now we're in a closet*

(Really, I don't see Nick and Joe Jonas)

Deadpool:" *whisper voice* not a good time guys. I really don't know what to do if this Finn dude finds me. "

To this day, Deadpool has never killed a child before. Regardless of wither it was a meta human or an evil genius, it wasn't going to happen. Perfect example was when he was a part of the X-Force. They managed to defeat Apocalypse, the oldest and most powerful mutant. Trained by an Egyptian Warlord, 5 generations worth of experience and powers that would almost be labeled "Omnipotence."

When he was defeated, he was cloned as a child named Evan, with no memory of his dark past. The X-force were sent to retrieve him after he was kidnapped by Wolverine's son Daken. Their intent was to stick him back in his original armor, where he would return to his all-powerful self. However, Deadpool spent some time with reminded Even that even though he was a clone, he still had a choice when it came to who he wanted to be. He got the chance for a clean slate. After the ordeal, he managed to join the "Jean Grey School for Higher Learning." While Even was studying , Deadpool talked with him since he found out who he was. Deadpool told him that he should never call himself Apolalypse, and anytime he was feeling down, he would always be there him. He went so far to say that if he had a son half as cool as Evan, he'd be the proudest father. This, and this alone, was the only instance when Deadpool was called a hero.

Door closed

*Not good*

Deadpool glances through the closet screen.

Deadpool:" It's just Marcy."

*SHHHH , kid might be with her.*

And on that note Deadpool kept his mouth shut, well it was open, but he didn't speak. The cause was Marceline looping her thumbs inside her jeans, and pulling them down to her ankles. From Deadpool's view, he got a look at the grey skinned beauty's red and black striped panties that fit perfectly an her ample round butt. Next, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it off over her head , tossing her hair out of her flawless face and exposing her matching bra. Both articles of clothing went in the hamper near her nightstand. Now she needed some clean clothes...uh oh.

*DAMN RIGHT "UH OH" WRITER. Thanks to you were screwed*

Writer:" Ahem, I didn't hear any complaints when she was stripping."

Marceline walked over to the closet and opened both doors.

Marceline:" …Deadpool."

Deadpool:" umm, no, I'm a pair of your red and black panties."

Marceline:" Get my jean shorts and wife beater, there should be a stack right next to you."

Deadpool:" Ummm, *looks around* oh here they are*hands her clothes*"

Marceline:" Thanks, stay here while I get rid of Finn.*closes closet*"

*….wow, no slap in the face*

(Or verbal thrashing)

Deadpool:" or threat of a restraining order….how the F*** do we interpret that?"

*You're talking with yourself about social cues*

(Not really a good start)

_Downstairs_

Now Marceline is sporting a grey wife beater and jean shorts. She was walking down the stair while getting her hair out of the inside of her shirt.

Marceline:" Much better, thanks guys, I was starting to stank up something nasty. So what's up?"

Finn:" Eh not much, Peebs sent us to find some dingus that trashed Root Beer Guys Book reading thing."

Marceline:" *clears throat* Really? What happened exactly?"

Jake:" Long story short, some guy in a red/black outfit tossed mints in RBG's dome. After that, it gets kind of fizzy."

Marceline:" You mean fuzzy?"

Finn:" Nope. It got fizzy. RBG shot out like a fire trick hose. So the dude was all " I'm gonna grab you." RBG was all " Whhaattt" and the dude started sprayin everbody and was "MENTOS!."

Finn was reenacting the whole scene. Trying his best to mimic Deadpool's movements, but failed. Even Deadpool wasn't that bombastic.

Jake:" Bro, I think got it, chill-ax."

Marceline:" So that's all he did?"

Finn:" He made a few jokes, turned Peppermint Butler small enough to put on a sundae."

Jake:" Who puts a peppermint on ice cream? "

Finn:" Yo mamma, which is my mamma, and my mamma gave me peppermint ice cream fool. Right now peebs is pretty peeved. At this point we're only chasing one lead. Someone said they heard you playing your guitar."

Jake:" When did you start playing guitar?"

Finn:" Why are you asking random questions."

Marceline:' Yeah Jake, kind of makes you look like un underfoot character."

Jake:" Hey, back to you missy. "

Marceline :" HISSSS"

Jake:" *hides behind Finn* I meant that in the nicest way, I think, not really."

Finn:" *sigh* What ivs , so marcy, were you near the Candy Kingdom at all."

Marceline:" Actually I was, I flew by to jam out with Bonnie, then I found out she was doing some "book thing." I didn't want to get bored so I set up my amp on the roof. Then I heard someone singing about Mentos, and it was catchy , so I strummed a few chords. Gave it that rock edge. Other than that I didn't see bunk."

Finn:" I thought so , guess we're going in blind again Jake."

Jake:" Can we at least where the sunglasses."

Finn:" Jake…*puts in sunglasses* you read my mind."

This was the perfect time for a CSI: Miami pun, but are merc was still in the closet trying to figure out what just happed. Jake went into "Crime drama" mode and turned into huge makeshift cop car with his sunglasses as the headlights. Finn jumped in like a Duke and grabbed the wheel.

Finn:" Blare the sirens bro!"

Jake:" WEE OOO WEE OOO wee ooo wee oo"

Finn:" I said siren not banana guard."

After that they were gone. Marceline shut the door and let out a huge sigh. She can usually lie through her teeth, but when the perp is in the closet 10 feet away from the guys looking for him , Marcy got a little tense. She went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. After a few seconds of rummaging she found a basket of strawberries and de-pigmenting the heck out of em.

_30 minutes later_

Cabin fever started to set in. Usually time that's spent not moving is saved exclusively for naps, but being awake , hiding , bunched up.

*And were not talking about his "Johnson " *

Deadpool:" That's it *stands up* I'm outta here."

Deadpool opens the door and makes his way out of Marceline's bedroom. If the kid saw him, whatever. Boredom does not exist in the mind of Deadpool, and that's freaky. He made his way down the stairs and spotted Marceline floating above her couch napping with a basket of grey strawberries on her stomach. Was she just messing with him, that's what Deadpool was going through his mind, plus he hadn't had breakfast so those strawberries looked good. Now the name of the game was "Steal Marceline's Cherry" uhhh I mean strawberries. Inching his hand further towards the basket, Deadpool was near his target , until Marceline grabbed his wrist. She flew in the opposite direction while still holding Deadpool's wrist, flipping him over and landing on his back. The strawberries followed with a splat sound when it landed on Deadpool's face.

Marceline:" Hahaha, gotcha this time."

Deadpool:" *pulling mask up a bit* Munch munch Hmm, not bad. You can tell the difference without the red. Are they gone?"

Marceline:" Yup, there off your trail for now. Going after Lemon gran would be a good step now."

Deadpool:" *mouth full* Because no one really gives a horses $$."

Marceline:" Uh huh."

Deadpool:" Very nice, Let me finish these off and you can take me to …where ever this lemon dude is."

Marceline:" Heh, do you need some time to yourself?"

Deadpool:" What?"

*Huh*

(Oh glob no)

Marceline:" You were pretty zonked out back there. I just figured you needed some aloe time to handle yourself after seeing my drop dead un-dead bod."

Deadpool:" *stands up* Nope, I'm cool. Actually I'm relieved."

Marceline:" Say what?"

Deadpool:" In my experience , this usually falls under three things happening, 1. I get slapped.

*Thank you Siryn*

Deadpool:" 2. I get shot."

(Domino totally overreacted)

Deadpool:" 3. I need to get a lawer. It's nice to change things around. You actually remind me of this woman named Domino, except you're not pointing a gun at me* pulls gun out of holster* here."

Marceline:" Uhh what am I supposed to do with this."

Deadpool:" Point it right at me."

Marceline was curious about why Deadpool would give her a loaded gun. Curiosity set in, and she pointed it right at his skull.

Deadpool:" Ohh yeah, this is totally working for me."

Marceline:" We'll get going after you wake up"

Deadpool:" Wake up from wh…"

BANG

Marceline:" After you heal from that, *grabs glass* but not before I get some blood fresh from the source.

_Outside the Lemongrab Castle_

Still groggy, but otherwise ok to travel, Deadpool was being flown by Marceline just outside of Lemon Castle. Its location changed a few times, presently it resides in a deslote area surrounded by sand dunes. From the outside it did look like a prison, because of the search lights added to the towers. A large brick wall was built around the perimeter of the castle, with the main building that housed the current incarnation of Lemongrab. Marceline heard Princess Bubblegum conversation with other royal dignitaries about the totalitarian rule that the new Lemongrab still enforces.

She let go of Deadpool, dropping him at one of the larger sand dunes. She followed suite until they both were lying on their bellies so the search lights won't spot them.

Deadpool:" Ya know , the way you keep dropping me …"

Marceline:" Let me guess , reminds you of another chick you use to peep on?"

Deadpool:" Nope, my employer. You'd like her. "

*I could totally see that happening*

Deadpool:" You said this guy just turned his castle into a prison, or whatever. "

Marceline:" One difference, they're not exactly caged. They can roam within the walls, but if they try and escape, Lemongrab brings them to his dungeon. A whole lot of messed up junk happens in there.

_Deadpool Flashback_-

Medical Quarters of "Butler"

Butler:" Mr. Wilson, I understand you wish to be released from my program. "

Wade:" *Vomit* Does it look like we're making progress Doc?"

Butler:" From my end…yes..yes we are making progress. You just lack the big picture."

Wade:" *cough* *cough* kiss the fattest part of my ass you dick. Look at me. I'm a huge wad of scar tissue, wrapped in bandages, *cough* sprinkled with chemo drugs, AND I STILL HAVE CANCER. "

Butler:" Wade, you know I can't let you go."

Wade:" F*** THAT, I F***ING VOLUNTEERED FOR THIS S***. Either let me go, or let me die."

Butler:" Nurse?"

Nurse #1:" Yes doctor?"

Butler:" Schedule Mr. Wilson for a full nerve biopsy, fine needle aspiration. Then start with the ECT. I want him to forget this conversation. "

Nurse:" Yes Doctor, come on pizza face."

Wade:" When this is over….*vomit* you're gonna wish you killed me."

Butler:" Why would I do that Mr. Wilson. You're the breeding pit for organ harvesting, a little side job I've been working on."

Wade:" YOU SON OF A …

_Back to Ooo_-

Marceline:" Yo, *snaps fingers* Deadpool, you awake in there? "

Deadpool:" You said he's just one big lemon right?"

Marceline:" Pretty much."

Deadpool:" Well, when life hands you a lemongrab, Grab his lemons"

Deadpool pulled out his swords and ran towards the colossal wall.

Macreline: " DEADPOOL, You ding a ling. "

Marceline took flight, and hovered above him. He actually made it to the wall without the search lights following him. One started to follow him after Deadpool stopped running when sand started to kick up. He pressed himself against the wall , allowing the light to go by. The brick wall, from what Deadpool could feel, was also made from some kind of hard candy, so he plunged both of his katanas in , and climbed up all the way to the wall. He knew he was making too much noise, but that wouldn't matter in a bit. One search lite was heading towards him, that's when he drew his pistol out and put one round right in the center. The guard was distracted by the shattering glass, giving Deadpool the edge. He ran along the wall , dove in the guard tower with a flying side kick upside the lemon guards head. This went on for the remaining lights and guards. Marceline flew down after watching Deadpool being awesome.

Marceline:" Totes dude. *punches Deadpool's shoulder* good job, hey…hey.. *shakes Deadpool* are you ok."

Deadpool:" -"

She was now concerned , until she looked at what Deadpool was eyeing. Lemon people were struggling, struggling just to keep moving. Each one of them looked like they haven't eaten in months. Once they all look unique from one another, just like the day the former Lemongrab brothers birthed them from the candy they were denied. From what Deadpool saw, they all looked the same. Skinny, bound with a shock collar, some were walking with every ounce of strength, others resorted to crawling , wounded from the rocks and cement that covered the sand puncturing their skin. Marceline was right , they were cattle.

Marceline:" Wha…I didn't know it was this bad…..

_Marceline's Flashback_

996 years ago.

?:" Marceline , stay in the car. "

Marceline:" *crying* but, you can't do it, please don't"

?:" It's ok Marcy, I'll protect you. I know you don't want me to use the crown, but I can't fight a horde of zombies by myself."

Marceline:" but, *sniff* I don't want you to go, that crown turns you into something mean. *crying* I love you the way you are, please don't use it."

?:" I love you too Marceline. You'll understand when you get older, that sometimes we have make sacrifices and difficult decisions to protect the ones we love. Remember, if there Is no struggle, there Is no progress"

Marceline:" NOO!"

?:" *cups Marceline's face* I will always be here, to make those sacrifices. No matter what happens to me, I will always be here for you."

The mystery man gave Marceline a hug that any father would give his daughter. A bond stronger than blood. When the hug ended. The mystery man put on a golden crown that was covered in red jewels. Suddenly his skin turned a darker shade of blue, his hair went from sienna brown to snow white. Gusts of wind and snow surrounded him. He was lifted into the air , surrounded by ice crystals that gathered around his hands. One swipe of his hand sent large ice spears towards the oncoming zombie horde, piercing them and pinning them where they stood. The skies were now covered in dark clouds, stronger winds went against the horde , with shards of ice slicing them piece by piece. This was the power of the Ice King.

?:" COME AT ME !"

Marceline:" SIMON!"

_Back in Ooo_

Marceline snapped back in time to watch Deadpool unsheathe his blades again, except he handed one to Marceline.

Marceline:" No, No way. You can't be serious."

Deadpool:" Chaos comes in many unspeakable forms. After living for 1000 years I thought you would've seen something like this."

Marceline:" I have, but would never do a mercy killing. This may not even look like…"

Deadpool:" *takes off mask* Look at my face Marceline."

Marceline:" Woah, how did that happen."

Deadpool:" This is what happens when you hit rock bottom and desperate. When you give up your freedom for even a small sliver of hope, when people turn a blind eye to what they don't want to know about and let it fester and grow, but *puts mask back on* this is what you get for your freedom. I don't care how old you are, if there's no struggle in how you live your life, then progress becomes nothing but words."

Deadpool's words echoed in Marcelines head. It's true, she was a child of the Mushroom War, but spent most of her immortal life traveling around Ooo. From Simon to Finn, she was protected. She never asked for it, she might not even have wanted it. Marceline was not weak by any means. Over 1,000 of seeing friends die , bad upbringing, social outcasting, she is one of the strongest women in Ooo. 

Marceline:" *wipes tears* Give me you little pocket knife."

Deadpool unsheathed his other sword again, tossing it to Marceline. She grabbed it without even looking towards Deadpool, her eyes were busy on the task at hand.

Deadpool:" It's not the size that counts."

Marceline:" Keep telling yourself that."

Deadpool:" Heh, want a few tips on how to handle that thing."

SWISH

Marceline swung Deadpool's katana with such precision that it sliced through his mask around his neck, but only cut through the fabric. 

Deadpool:" Not bad, make sure you go for the gold, don't hesitate."

Marceline:" Same goes to you. "

They both dropped down into the enclosed yard. Both of them went separate ways to cover more ground , at least that what they told themselves. Each suffering Lemon person was met with a quick and painless death. Marceline chose to look at each one of them, and tell them that it'll be over soon. While cradling their head, she would cut their throats, letting the lemon juice bleed out. They were just about done. Marceline was about to finish , when one of the lemon people spoke to her.

Plop Top:" Th..th…thank you."

SLICE

Deadpool:" Like I said , chaos comes in unspeakable forms, but at the same time, it's ultimately up to the person witnessing it, whether it's good or bad. "

Marceline:" Shut up, I don't need you to explain something I already know. "

Deadpool:" Fair enough. If it make you feel any better , I've got a little surprise for ol lemon drop."

Marceline:" He should be at the top room in the castle.*points* right where that poor excuse for a lemon structure is."

Deadpool:"* Looks up* Heh, your right. Looks more like a Jack O Lantern carved by a dude having a seizure."

Marceline:" *chuckle*"

Deadpool:" There's that fang riddle smile."

The two of them headed straight for the castle doors. When they opened them , they went straight for the staircase, but not before engaging in a little conversation.

Marceline:" Hey , I got something better than "Lemon Drop."

Deadpool:" Lay it on me."

Marceline:" The Earl of Lemon Grope."

Both: *chuckle*

Deadpool:" Ok, wait. …Lemon "turd""

Marceline:" HAH!"

_Lemon Grab's Private Quarters_-

Lemongrab:" Hmmmmmmm, It's toooooo Silent. Theyyy ummmm must be playing the Si..sSSSSSSILENT GAME. I said nnnooo GAMESS WHEN I'M AWAKE! Guards, 7 year dungeon , for all players….except the winner, they get 7..mmmmmMILLION YEARS DUNGEON. Hello…Guardsss. You better not be playing too.

Lemongrab stood up and walked out of his room. He was wearing the grey body suit , boots, belt, and sound sword his previous forms had. His boots were the only sound he could hear while walking the corridors of the castle, until he saw a blank piece of paper in front of one if the hallways lanterns.

Lemongrab: "WA WA WAISTING…..STATIONARY , I sentence you to my private toilet paper roll…this second, well not now….but youuuuuuuuu just waot till I've had dinner. What are you doing paper, stop it."

The paper in questioned was now showing a hidden message that just appeared in black.

Lemongrab:" What are you trying to tell me. *grabd glasses* Shhaaawshhhhhank Reeeedempttttttion. Shawshank Redemption. You've now upgraded to GRAFFITI LITTLE PAPER!"

He noticed that other lanterns along the hallway had the same paper on it. Every time he found one, he stopped and waited for another message.

Lemongrab:" Longest Yard *walking* Escape From Alcatraz *walking* The Deer Hunter. "

Lemongrab went further downstairs, following the trail of papers. He didn't even noticed that his castle was completely empty. After a few more steps and hallways, he made his way towards the "Reconditioning Chamber," where the last piece of paper hung, and just lije the rest , right in front of the lantern.

Lemongrab:" Hmm…..hmmmmmmm. HMMMMMWAAAAAAA. What is taking you so long paper, TALK TO ME NOW , I COMMAND IT. *the message appeared* "O Brother Where Art Thou"….I ate him, are you questioning my judgment paper…..thhhhhis was a complete waste of my time, which is by law uuuuuuuuuuuuUUUNNNNNNN-ACEPTABLEEEEEEEEEEEEE."

WHACK

Lemongrab:" I'VE BEEN STRICKEN, Iiiiiii I'm going to pass out NOWWWW.

_Inside the Reconditioning Chamber_

Deadpool:" Wake up. Lemon bar."

Marceline:" Pfft, you'll have to do more than that."

Deadpool:" Far enough."

Deadpool puts his mouth near what he guessed was Lemongrabs ear.

Deadpool:"Lemongrab *whisper* I just wanted to let you know that this is *loud* UUUNNNAACCCCEEEEPPPPTAAAABLLEEEE!"

LemonGrab:" WOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH. Who are you….two..the two of you?"

Deadpool:" Well her you might know her."

Marceline:" Nope, this guy's got poo brain from eating himself, his brother, his people."

Lemongrab noticed that he was inside his own "torture chamber." Staring at Deadpool who was bent over looking right at him with Marceline in the background still holding Deadpool's katana over her shoulder. Plus he noticed the torture chamber…

Lemongrab:" It's not a torture chamber it's the Reconditioning Chamber, For you writer, 2 YEARS IN THE…

SLAP

Deadpool:" Hey, only I can do that. Besides I'd be more worried about the position you're in.

Lemongrab could see feel that he was bound to the seat he had used on projects that failed, something Deadpool can sympathize with. He used the same knots when he tied up Billy Numerous.

Deadpool:" Ya see Lemon Butt, I'm a big fan of science."

Marceleine:" Dork."

Deadpool:" The papers you were reading , were actually written in Lemon juice, I thought you'd appreciate the irony."

Marceline:" Drama queen"

Deadpool:" When held to a heat source, the acid weakens the paper releasing CO2 , and turning it into a black brown color. It's a little trick I used while hunting down a vampire. *looks back * Not you Marcy. "

Marceline:" I'm half Demon, no probs. "

Deadpool:" Really? We will geek out about it later over virgin's blood."

Marceline:" Oh so that wasn't virgin's blood you were handing out."

Deadpool:" Nice, but back to you Lemon balm. *chuckle* You should see yourself now."

Deadpool pulls out a mirror to show Lemongrab what he had done. 4 rods were embedded in Lemongrabs head, almost like alien antennae.

Deadpool:" With the help from your copper wire from your TV cable and the steel wire generously donated from Marceline's bra…

Marceline:" Dude, not flippin cool!"

Deadpool:" Don't question greatness. At this point you must have questions."

Lemongrab:" Stop SPOUTING WITCHCRAFT YOU OVER ZELOUS JESTER!"

Marceline:" I can totes see you wearing the hat."

Lemongrab:" SILENCE HARLOT!"

PUNCH

Deadpool:" Pay attention, or I won't bring out the food."

Marceline:" I'll get it."

Marceline exited the chamber and brought a couple of plates wrapped in parchment paper. She gave one to Deadpool, and set one on a stand up tray right in front of Lemongrab. Marceline and Deadpool took their parchment off, and what was revealed was heaven wrapped in a tortilla.

Deadpool:" Whoops, let me adjust our Lemon box here. Hehe, I miss my Apple Iphone right now, do guys have apple people. "

Marceline:" We got an elephant that makes a mean apple pie."

Deadpool:" Pie , Iphone. Either way I'll be a fruit ninja. Anyway, hold still Lemon grope, hey you're right , it does roll right off the tongue. I'm sticking with it.

Deadpool coiled the metal sticking out of Lemongrab's head. Two were placed near his bottom lip and the others bent above his upper lip. From there , Deadpool removed the parchment on Lemongrabs plate. Another slice of heaven.

Deadpool:" All metal has electricity , or electrons if you will. It just needs a little push. The Juice in your dome provides electrolytes and moisture to where…

ZAP

Lemongrab:' OWWWW,

ZAP

Lemongrab:" PAIN

ZAP

Deadpool:" Can I get back to my awesomeness…."

ZAP

Deadpool:" Ok I've lost him. HEY! Bottom line …When you open your mouth to I can only guess scare away bats, your lips touch the electrodes. Usually 1 lemon doesn't produce enough to hurt that bad, but at this point you're a dead ringer for the new Energizer wind up Bunny, the metal even looks like ears. With you , at least 30 volts, not enough to kill you but just enough to keep you from biting into one of my guilty pleasures."

Marceline:" *bite* Now THIS IS FOOD. What do you call this and how can I replace my blood with it."

Deadpool:" I tried that, doesn't work. It's called a Chimichanga with Salsa Verde. "

Deadpool takes a bite out of his.

Deadpool:" Ohhhhhh , *chew* I have missed these. Forget what I said , I don't feel guilty about these at all."

ZAP

Lemongrab:" OOWWW"

Marceline:''Not even for that?"

Deadpool:" Only for him not being able to eat it. "

Marcy and Deadpool ate the rest of their Chimichangas right in front of Lemongrab. Every bite they tool was another tease for the Earl. It took about 10 zaps before he became silent and hungry. Afterwards, they left the chamber, leaving the door closed but left a stick in the room, giving Lemongrab a chance to get out if he could get a hand out of the chair restraints.

The Vampire Queen and our Mercenary went to the balcony in the Earls private quarters. They both stood silent. Thinking back to all that happened in the last few hours.

Deadpool:" *sigh*"

Marceline:" Do you enjoy taking it to this level?

Deadpool:" What?"

Marceline:" I've been screwing with people's heads for centuries, but I've never taken things this far. But you still make jokes, laugh, and goof off. I just have to know that you're not getting kicks watching people suffer."

Deadpool:" Let me tell you a story."

Marceline:" Glob it, you're worse than Lemongrab, at least he kept it simple, like 7 words a sentence."

Deadpool:" Do you want an answer, this is the only way I can explain it."

Marceline:" Sure, have at it Jester."

Deadpool:" Remember when I said you reminded me of Domino?"

Marceline:''Was she like your girlfriend?"

Deadpool:" We hooked up a couple of times, but mostly we did jobs together when the money was good. One time…I wanted to join this group called the X-men. I was doing it for them because , well , I'm me. They let me on as a "probationary member." Domino and I stopped a television broadcast that would've painted a target on our backs for no good reason. After we were done, she invited for drinks in her hotel room. Next thing I knew, I was tied to the bed and passed out."

Marceline:" Is this fantasy of yours going anywhere."

Deadpool:" Pfft , Jealous much?"

Marceline:" Maybe from the farthest region of my butt."

Deadpool:" You guys have the coolest slang. So….when I woke up , she was standing over me with a look that confirmed my suspicions. Cyclops, the leader of the X-men, not the ones you got here, he told Domino to keep me under control. The X-men didn't want anything to do with me, used Domino to lure me, she ended up drugging me, and sent Wolverine, the shortest dude I've ever met in my life. They sent him to ask me to do a mission in China, because it's not something they would do. Then Domino untied me, and pushed me out of the window and I landed on the side walk from five floors. "

Marceline:" Let me get this straight, you wanted to work for a group that basically hates you. Only uses you for their dirty work. Got what I'm guessing is the closest thing to a friend you have to betray you. What does that have to do with anything?"

Deadpool:" Wouldn't you be asking the questions and giving the whole "I thought you were my bosom buddy" speech in that bed while already plotting for revenge?"

Marceline:" Is that what you did."

Deadpool:" Nope, I kept bitching about how creep me out. Then I got Domino to tell me that she's scared of chickens. So when they went on the mission without me. I found out that they were going to find our target in a local station , going through the AC vents."

Marceline:" And..?"

Deadpool:" I stopped them, by putting a chicken in that air vent. And I went on the mission alone."

Marceeline:" Wha..Hah hAHAHHAHAHHA , You mean HAHAHHA , that actually worked. "

Deadpool:" Yup, and that right there is my point. Yeah, I'm great at doing all of jobs that now one else wants to do, because that's what I'm good at. I've accepted that. Laughing is the best way around that drama crap. It's the best medicine , that I always prescribe to everyone, even without their consent."

Marceline:" Good story, very corny, but funny."

Deadpool:" It's what I'm good at."

Marceline:" Hmm, can I tell you what my medicine is. "

Deadpool:" We've gone down this far in the rabbit hole, might as well find the rabbit."

Marceline:" Music. When I jam, nothing else matters."

Deadpool:" Wanna head back and have a jam session."

Marceline: "Really , what axe do you play?"

Deadpool;' A choice between the Guitar , or me burping me ABC's."

On that final joke, Marceline laughed and grabbed Deadpool's hand and flew towards Marceline's cave. Without even realizing it , Marceline had a moment of clarity. What they did, was not making the best out of a bad situation. It was living in the present. When life hands you Lemons….Make a Tom Collins. 

*That's got gin in it, it's a drink if ya haven't googled it.*

(Where were we in this moment)

*I WANNA HAVE A MOMENT WITH MARCY*

(Whatever, see ya next chapter)

*Nee ya Sext time*

(Dude!)


	4. Chapter 17: R&R with T'n'A

Hey ya'll. Just to let everyone know to avoid confusion. There are a couple of songs here, so assume that the music is still playing despite the possible banter. Also , singing voices will be in Bold and Italics.

On another note, I'd like to thank **Ambient Tech's **. Just when I thought I should stop writing, I get his/her review and I felt so good that I finished this chapter the day I got it. Thank you and to everyone who reads my work. I do this all for you guys.

P.S. Keep sending me ideas on the next World to send Deadpool. If you haven't read the other stories, Eris plucks a new "Agent of Chaos" from the places Deadpool causes chaos in. There is a point to that, which will involve something I can't wait to write, but I need a few more ideas before I can bring everyone together.

D-Piddy8256

As Marceline and Deadpool vacated Castle Lemongrab, a shadow had emerged from the balcony. The moonlight gave it the appearance of a swordsmen with a rattling jingle that followed. It was Princess Bubblegum's Knight, Sir Rattleballs. He watched as Marceline and Deadpool fly off in the distance and thought that this is pertinent enough to relay to the princess. Standing up gave his shadow a now menacing look , as if he was a haunted puppet , long gangly limbs dangling from what appears to be a gumball machine. One could call him a miniature version of the Gumball Guards, but proficient with a sword, and his body is a gumball machine upside down.

Now Rattleballs was ready to give his report so he jumps from the balcony , stone beam, then over the wall. His speed went from 0-60mph in less than a second. From a distance , it would look like a sandstorm following him, but it was the sand being flown from Rattleballs fast feet. When He reached the Candy Kingdom Castle, Rattleballs saw the Princess Bubblegum tending to her chemistry equipment in her garden.

Bubblegum was surrounded by beakers, Bunsen burners , and a pack of candycorn rats. Her white latex gloves dropped one of the rats into a metallic bowl of soda. It struggled at first, but managed to collect himself and swim in the beverage. A trail of bubbles were being left behind him with every breast stroke. Embarrassed as the rate might have been, he hung his arms around the rim of the bowl. At this point the rat looked like he was in a black/brown Jacuzzi.

Bubblegum: " Glob it!" she yelled pulling off her gloves and discarding them. " Why can't I get the same reaction he did," pondering while putting her hand on her chin. " Peppermint Butler and the rats have the same Sucrose chemical structure with a 2:1 glucose/fructose ratio. What's the dif between them?"

Sand started to swirl around Bubblegum with Rattleballs bringing his head down in respect to the Princess."

Rattleballs:" Princess , I come with dire news." He stated raising his head up.

Princess Bubblegum:" Let's hear it, I'm done with bunk project." She said dismissively as she turned around letting the Rat finish his "Jacuzzi" session."

Rattleballs:" The man in the red and black suit is named Deadpool. From what I gathered , he is a mercenary who has come to Ooo for the purpose of causing shenanigans."

Princess Bubblegum:" Shenanigans?" With a puzzled look on her face.

Rattleballs:" Chaos, discord, I'm a gumball machine not a thesaurus. Anyway, his last mission was to say the least, horrifying."

Princess Bubblegum:" Let me guess, he used the same soda trick in the Ice Kingdom to make a frozen soda beverage enterprise. I want my cut." She said slapping her hands together as if to say Chop Chop.

Rattleballs:" No, The Lemon people that inhabited Castle Lemongrab, were killed."

Princess Bubblegum:" *Gasp*", which was followed by her hands slowly covering her mouth in horror. Wide eyed and confused.

Rattleballs:" He assumed he was doing a service by euthanizing them and ending Lemongrabs totalitarian influence. However, there is one other issue that needs to be addressed. Deadpool has an accomplice. It is an Ooo inhabitant."

Princess Bubblegum:" TREASON! Who is getting a permanent residence in my dungeon Rattleballs? " She shouted as her arms stretched down to grab Rattleballs by his mechanical shoulders , shaking him to force it out of him.

Rattleballs:" Do-do-dod-odod-don't sh shh shhs shsh shake the mmmee sssenger!" Rattleballs requested while realizing how annoying his gumballs could get when shaken hard enough.

Princess Bubblegum:" Just spill it. My kingdom needs me right now and I can't afford to have one of my subjects endangering our awesome livelihood."

Rattleballs:" Marceline Abadeer."

Bubblegum didn't want to believe it, but it made sense to some degree. She was a creature of chaos herself. Half Demon and Half vampire, it was in here nature to cause mischief. To go so far as to commit mass murder, that didn't make sense at all. This did provide other means of opportunity to capture Deadpool.

Princess Bubblegum:" I require bug milk, and a crayon. If this Deadpool ding-aling wants to cause chaos, will give all he can handle and DEM SOME!" she said with her fist punching the sky.

_Marceline's House

The events of the night before still left Marceline emotionally exhausted. Even though Deadpool's words of progress and struggle rang true to her, it was still hard to digest. Killing people to end their suffering was not uncommon except for Marceline. A vampire who eats the color of blood must have gotten use to not killing creatures for survival, even though most of them use this as an " ends justifies the means" example.

Deadpool was a different story. He adheres more to the adage of "kill one person, and it's a tragedy, kill 50 and it's a statistic." Mercenaries are usually hired for undocumented missions, private security, but surprisingly less ...assassinations. Each provides the environment to kill people, which justifies the means of the job. Deadpool however, killed someone who liked Jar Jar Binks from Star Wars. What does that tell you?

When they both returned home, not a lot was said. Diner, shower ( not Deadpool) and off to bed. Deadpool went outside to the patio where he made a little fort out of extra sheets and pillows. He kicked off his boots and belt before going in. Since his fort was "impenetrable" ( his words) he figured he could slip out of his suit and mask. Once it was off, he grabbed it and tossed it on the rail of the patio to let it air out. Before heading to bed he put up a sign on the fort entrance.

As soon as his head hit the pillow, he had a visitor in his dream. It was Eris, and like the last time she popped in Deadpools head for a visit, she created the image of her star studded night sky liar. Deadpool found himself back in his suit and mask, with Eris making a grand entrance in her gaseous form, materializing right in front of him.

Deadpool:" Let me guess, you want a status update, " he asked putting his hands up mime-ing a keyboard."Feeling good today, just sliced a bunch of lemons, lol, forced a dick-tator to stop talking , omg irony, lmfao, #suckit.."

Eris shut him up in a familiar way, by grabbing his mask off and pulling him into a passionate kiss. While replaying the images she saw of Deadpool antics, it sent shivers down her spine as she ran her nails down his back. Moans escaped her lips allowing her to invade Deadpool's mouth with her tongue. This went on for about a minute before she stopped, her face was still close to his. Deadpool panted just as heavily as she did, the excitement and lack of oxygen helped.

Deadpool:" ...friend request accepted ...and don't be mad if I "poke" you without my hands. "

Eris:" Don't be surprised if I poke back," Eris retorted , keeping her arms wrapped around Deadpools neck.

Deadpool:" We can chat about your lady boner later...preferable when you're not in my head and we get a hotel with a vibrating bed, some baby oil and midget."

Eris:" i just thought I'd show my gratitude, and admiration for your methodology. News of that fortress will spread like the plague."

Deadpool:" No WAY, the plague was all you?"

Eris:" *chuckle* spoilers."

Deadpool:" Right, but just so we're clear, I'm doing this so you can wipe out the S*** memories. Ever since ive started, they've been popping up randomly."

Eris:" True, but what about moments like this, would you want me do erase those? I'm starting to think you don't like me."

Deadpool:" oh trust me, this is going in the spank bank, but you'll have to u your game if you want Bea Arthur status."

Eris:" Challange accepted, but before that I just wanted you to know that you'll have some assistance on the next venture."

Deadpool:" WHAT, you got another one, *sniff* and I thought we had something special."

Eris:" You're doing a more than admirable job, but there are numerous worlds that need to be corrected , i can't rely on you to do all of the work."

Deadpool:" Fair enough." Deadpool checked his watch ...that wasn't there " listen , before my morning wood wakes me up, I need to let you know that tomorrow i need a personal day with Marcy. She's not use to my methods , so i just want to make sure she's sane enough to keep going. Ooo isn't exactly the best place to wander so I really need her."

Eris:" hmm, I don't see why not, but I expect you to be at your best the next day."

_The Next Morning_

Like clockwork, or a sundial , Deadpool's eyes opened to greet the day and his erection.

Deadpool:" Good morning partner."

Marceline:" Good morning."

Deadpool:" I was talking to my...wait what are you doing ...AHHHHHH."

Marceline took advantage of Deadpool sheet fort by grabbing all of the ends and bunching them together, trapping him inside. Her demonic/vampiric strength aloud Marcy to swing Deadpool around, whacking her path. Suddenly a katana pierced through the sheets allowing Deadpool to escape. He squeezed out like a newborn, and like a newborn, bare $$ naked.

Marceline:" Dude, what the bunk . You sleep naked."

Deadpool:" uhh totally! Ya think I wear my suit to sleep in, it's not a frikin onesy. Nope, cuts of circulation to my junk. I might as well be strangling my dick to death without lube, besides," Deadpool explained his reasoning , but started to pose after the masterbation inuendo. " *arms in the air* How can I let this perfect bod go to waste, SUNS OUT GUNS OUT!"

Marceline:" Well tell your guns to stay cocked and ready, I managed to get you this time so let's finish with a sparing match, like NOW," Marceline said with a stern voice and brought her hands up in a defensive pose

With that in mind, Deadpool dropped his katana and flexed his biceps and started to talk to them

Deadpool:" Guns, I need you to stay cocked for a while...huh.. yes i know she said cocked...yes it was funny and she totally missed it..."

* Did your biceps develop personalities too, or are we THAT full of ourselves?*

(We're full of something,)

Deadpool:" You feeling ok,?" Deadpool asked being slightly concerned about Marceline being overly

anxious about their usual morning brawl.

Deadpool:"I'd offer you some blood , but i'm still at full salute for ol Morning Glory, as you can probably tell."

* Don't let that stop her from getting a fix*

(Tell her she has to close her eyes and suck it through a straw)

* A straw? That's what you compare the giggle stick to? Who's side are you on?*

( A straw for bubble tea)

*Oh never mind , those are big enough to drive a car through*

Marceline:" JUST SHUT UP AND FIGHT ME, " Shouted Marceline , tears trickling down her cheek. "HEE YAA."

Marceline began her assault with a flying bicycle kick. She moved do fast that all Deadpool saw was pair of torn blue jeans about to open a can of whoop-ass. Deadpool raised his arms and deflected the attacks with Irish fighting style slaps. Marceline however stayed in the air while keeping up her tempo of kicks. After about 30 seconds of defending himself in la buff, Deadpool got tired and grabbed Marceline by the ankle. His one and only attack was throwing her down on the patio floor, making one hell of a hole.

Deadpool:" What is your frikin malfunction ?"

*Maybe she heard what we said*

(She's not Tom Cruise in "Interview with a Vampire.")

* Ask her if she believes in scientology *

Marceline:" I ...saw their faces...all of them *sobs* I couldn't sleep. "

Deadpool:" *sigh* Yeah, I knew this might happen." He said offering his hand to Marceline to get her back on her feet.

Deadpool:" This, is normal. Don't interpret this like Freud would because penises and mothers will invade your brain, those two should never meet."

Marceline stood up, still trying her best to look Deadpool in the eyes.

Marceline:" *sniff* So, what then, vengeful spirits come to lump my brain up something aweful?"

Deadpool:" Uh no, this is all on you. You still feel guilty about killing someone. It happened to me too, dude haunted me for a whole month. The guy even dressed up as Tony Montana giving me the "little friend" speech holding a midget , and this dream was after I made peace with it.

* It's all midgets with you today*

(I think they prefer Oompa loompas)

Marceline:" *chuckle* What happened afterwards?"

Deadpool:" Simple, tell me a joke."

Marceline:" A joke, and that's it?"

Deadpool:" Yup."

Marceline:" How far up your butt did you have to go to pull that out?"

Deadpool:" I'm naked, don't temp me. Now….JOKE TIME?"

Marceline lived for over 1000 years. She's been all over Ooo three times over, so she mst know some jokes. She looked down at the broken stalagmite riddled floor, if only to get some kind of inspiration. Something was going through her mind , how was she going to tell a psycho like Deadpool a joke that might make him laugh. Then it hit her. Psycho. Marceline's head bobbed up as if a light bulb went off in her head. A vampire , plus her psycho ex-boyfriend.

Marceline:" Ok.." She confirmed that she was ready with a joke as her feet moved shoulder width apart with her fists facing palms up to get pumped.

Deadpool:" Let's hear it."

Marceline:" Did I ever tell you that I had a boyfriend?"

Deadpool:" No you did not."

*where is she going with this? I could care less who had the balls to fill that position*

( See, you have maybe…three jokes right there..now hush)

Marceline:" I had to break up with him though."

Deadpool:" Really, why was that."

Marceline:" He wasn't my blood type," she finished , crossing her arms with her chin held high.

Deadpool:" Heh, I thought it was because you sucked, A BA-BOOSH, " Deadpool responded , moving his hands as if he had a drum set doing a rimshot.

Well, it worked. Marceline couldn't help but smile, laugh, and slap her own knee while floating. It was easy, she just had to think of something that brought her pain, and turn it into something funny. Plus Deadpool came in with the assist to add to the hilarity. That was one of the secrets to being a comedian. Take all the S*** that happened in your life and turn it into something positive that others can relate to.

Deadpool:" HAH, would you like ice for that BURN?!," He shouted up at Marceline.

Marceline:" Hehe, do you have any ice?"

Deadpool:" uh no, that was kind of"

Marceline:" Sorry , did you forget the recipe?"

*OOOHHHHHHHH, you got SERVED ! *

(OH NO SHE DI-D-N'T !)

For 30 mintues they continued to crack jokes at each other. From "Neck-Tarines" to the naked potato "Dick-tator" joke, they had enough material for their own comedy special.

Deadpool:" HAHHAA, OH , OH , OK .. I've had enough, my kidneys can only take so much pressure." Deadpool stated while holding his junk, still naked.

Marceline:" Then I guess you shouldn't worry, that too shall pass."

*Kidney stones, she went on a kidney stone tangent?*

( We need to get her to the Apollo Theater ASAP)

*Why there?*

( Isn't her voice actor black?)

*NOT THE TIME FOR SPOILERS*

Deadpool:" Hey listen, I talked with my handler not long before you shook me around like a British nanny. We got the day off for bad behavior, and I do believe we had a jam session. "

Marceline:" Yeah, you're right. Soo, what's your poision besides your skin flute?"

Deadpool:" Guitar," He answered covering up his junk yet again.

Marceline:" Hehe, how about this, I'll set up the studio and get my axe, plus a spare guitar….and you…put on some clothes."

Deadpool:" Puh-lease, we've been at this for over a half hour and now you have a problem with my butt?"

_Flashback: Comedy Warriors tour_

The Wounded Warrior Project. Created to help and support veterans who have served our country. They've been wounded , scarred, some are missing limbs, and all of them have some form of post-traumatic stress disorder. Comedy Warriors was created to tutor them on how to be a great comedian and perform in front of a live audience. They even have celebraty comedians tutor them, as well as perform a live show for the troops. One show in particular was a smash hit, but didn't participate in the tour. Still, it was unforgettable.

This is where we find our boys Weasel and Deadpool backstage at "The Improv" in Los Angeles California, about to perform to a packed audience. Armed with only a couple of guitars, the duo were about to entertain an audience of wounded vets. Weasel had on a light blue hoodie, dark blue jeans, and his trademark glasses that were wide enough to see his short spiked black hair just by looking through them on the other side. Deadpool, well….he was still in his red and black suit , but no mask.

Deadpool:" I can't believe you talked me into this," he said , stilled pissed at weasel and looking at the audience behind the curtain.

Weasel:" Dude, #1 this is for charity," holding up one finger.

Deadpool:" What about the "United Weapon X Relief fund?" How about a little charity for moi!?"

Weasel:" #2, I thought they can see your face and realize that looks aren't everything," Two fingers

Deadpool:" Wow Weasel, my panties are so wet my crabs are drowning," he said sarcastically

Weasel:" #3, chicks dig guys that are funny," He stated while making a 'O' with one hand and pushing his other finger in it….get it….innuendo?

Deadpool:" …..Dude get your S*** together and get out there, do it for the freaks ..I mean soldiers," Deadpool said, but masking the fact he really wanted to do this.

Clapping

Host:" Ladies and Gentleman. Tonight we have a special treat. A comedy duo like no other. All the way from Canada, Wade Wilson and Jack "The Weasel" Hammer."

They both waved at the crowd while taking their seats on the stools provided for them. They sat down and adjusted their guitar straps, with Weasel leading the act.

Weasel:" Thanks everyone. As you can see, my buddy Wade has been through hell and back. Me…I got a paper cut that made me woozy," The audience chuckled a bit at his lack of war time experience. " Despite that, Wade has been my friend for years. What makes ourfriendship so great is our differences as individuals. We're completely different on so many levels. One of us has seen more bodies than a morgue , the other is a soldier," The audience again laughed .

*Wait, Weasel hasn't touched an $$ since the Bailout.*

(Geek is the new sexy, but Weasel's just a Dork)

Deadpool:" *whispers* I know. He's gonna get some booty tonight at my expense, " he said to himself looking over at Weasel playing the crowed like a video game.

*Yup, time to improv at "The Impov"*

(Do it !)

Weasel:" So now we'd like to sing you a song about our unique friendship."

The "comedy duo" of Wade and Weasel started to strum their guitars in sync. Weasel was moved his mouth towards his mmicrophone to start the first verse.

Guitars playing

Weasel:_**" I like my toast buttered."**_

Deadpool_:__**" And I take mine dry."**_

Weasel_**:" I dig the Beatles."**_

Deadpool_**:" I'm a Stones kind of guy."**_

Weasel_**:" I have fine taste."**_

Deadpool**:" **_**And I like things cheap."**_

Weasel_:" __**I wanna stay up all night."**_

Deadpool_**:" I just wanna sleep…with your sister."**_

Audience Laughing

Guitars still playing

Weasel:" ….what did you just say?"

Deadpool:" I didn't say a thing."

Weasel:" …you just said.."

Deadpool:" Dude your turn is coming up."

Weasel:" oh uh …_**I like the sunshine."**_

Deadpool:_**" And iiiiiiiiiiii wanna nail your sister."**_

Weasel:" What…_**um I like Juila Roberts movies."**_

Deadpool:" _**I just wanna F*** the S*** out of your SISTER!"**_

Guitar Key Change

Deadpool:" _**Well Jack , you would rule."**_

Weasel:" Wait What?"

Deadpool_**:" If you'd say "It's Cool."**_

Weasel:" IT'S NOT COOL."

Deadpool_**:" I'd go pick her up….at her Junior High School."**_

Weasel:" You mean THAT SISTER!"

Deadpool_**:" YEAH, I WANNA F*** YOUR SISTER!**_

Weasel:"DUDE."

Rapidly strumming his guitar

Deadpool:" I JUST WANNA F*** HER IN HER F***ING TITS AND SLAM IT ON HER $$."

Weasel:"COME ON, SHE'S 14 YEARS OLD."

Deadpool:" AND C** ALL OVER HER F***ING FACE AND STICK IT IN HER EYEBALL."

Weasel:" OH MY GOD, YOU CAN'T SKULL F*** MY SISTER."

Deadpool:" YEAH!"

Weasel:" HOLD IT HOLD IT."

Guitars stop playing

Weasel:" YOU STOP!"

Deadpool:" YOU WHAT?"

Weasel:" YOU STOP!"

Deadpool:" STOP WHAT?"

Weasel:" STOP NOW!"

Deadpool:" YOU NOW?"

Weasel:" NOW STOP!"

Deadpool:" NOW WHAT?"

Weasel:" NOW STOP!"

Deadpool:" WHAT STOP?"

Weasel:" GRR, DUDE!"

Deadpool:" WHAT?"

Weasel:" You want to F*** my sister?"

Deadpool:" DUH!"

Weasel:" So..you…want.. to have sex..with my sister?"

Deadpool:" Yes, yes I do."

Weasel:" Wade, of all the crazy….if you think …you are just sooo….20 bucks."

Deadpool:" Deal!"

Guitars play again

Both:" SISTERRRRRRRR!"

STANDING OVATION!

_Marceline's Bedroom_

That was one memory Deadpool wanted to keep. It kind of sprung up on him after he let himself in Marcelines bedroom. He saw that she had a soundboard set up right next to her bed. Two stools were set up with two headphones, Macreline's Bass, and an Electric Guitar set up for Deadpool. Marceline sat on one of the stools after a quick change to some blue gym shorts and a black sleeveless white jersey. Her hair was tied in a ponytail so it wouldn't get tangled in the Bass strings. She looked at Deadpool and invited him over to the other stool. As he sat down, both of them grabbed their instruments.

Marceline:" I've been working on some new tunes, so if you can…hopefully…. start giving me some background noise when I give the signal."

Deadpool:" What's the signal?," he said playing a few chords.

Marceline:" Me stepping on your foot with my size 1o. Can you dig it?"

Deadpool:" Only if you can dig my size 12. That's right 12. Ya know what the ysay about dudes with big shoes?"

Marceline:" Big feet," She responds as she flips the record switch and starts playing.

Bass

Marceline:" _**I see the world through blood shot eyes.**_

_** Rose colored specs , a cheap disguise.**_

_** Blind's not a good look on me.**_

_** The world that I know**_

_** Through my own wondow,**_

_** Is not what it use to be.**_

_**Bass chord change**_

_**Guitar background plays**_

Marceline:" _**I miss my corner stores,**_

_** Rock 'n' Roll , pompadours,**_

_** Funny quotes on the bathroom stalls.**_

_** Now it's dungeons with booby traps,**_

_** In my hell-ish time lapse**_

_** I miss my blue OVERAAAAAAAALLLLLSSSSSS.**_

_** I can't wear my overalls.**_

_** I'm just too big…for my old…..overalls."**_

_**Both intruments stop**_

Marceline:" ….Well….."

Deadpool:" *chuckle*."

Marceline:" What's so funny," she yelled.

Deadpool:" You said "traps" HAH!," He answered giggling like a preschooler.

Marceline:" You Butt!."

Gibbs Slap

Deadpool:" OWWW, always with the back of the head. "

Marceline:" Suck it up dingle-berry, I'd like to hear what artistic babble you spewed up."

Deadpool:" As it just so happens , I have a little something I've been working on. Before my *cough* "Surgical Procedure."

*Not this drivel, I'm bailing out*

(WAIT UP!)

Marceline:" *chuckle* Let's hear it then, I can't wait to hear your song lay a huge fart."

Deadpool:" Oh ye of little boobs."

Marceline:" HEY!"

Deadpool:" SHhhh, hush little vampire. I actually started writing this "Fart" for the "ex" formally known as "my lady."

Marceline:" Hmm, ok. Tell ya what. You start playing, and I'll chyme in as your girlfriend. We'll do this as a musical round."

Deadpool:" You plan on Improving?"

Marceline:" Duh."

Deadpool:" Me too."

Deadpool started playing a slow, but calming tune on the guitar. Once he finished the basic rhythm, Marceline started playing the bass to give it some backbone. From there, Deadpool started singing.

Both Instruments playing, BEAUTIFULLY!

Deadpool:"_** We were young, maybe twenty,**_

_**you wore a white dressing gown.**_

_**Drinking wine and dancing slowly,**_

_**on the night I laid you down.**_

_**And the moonlight revealed your body,**_

_**as the radio played some old Phil Collins song.**_

_**And we believed in something holy,**_

_**on the night I laid you down."**_

From the moment Marceline beat the crap out of Deadpool, to a few pages ago when they both played off of each other's puns, she felt like she knew him for all of her 1000 years. Listening to him play, and singing lyrics that almost surprised a fart out of her, inspired Marceline to come up with some lyrics right on the spot as Deadpool gave the signal for her cue.

Both Instruments still playing

Marceline:" _**We had love in our eyes,**_

_**we had passion in our souls.**_

_**There was fire in our kisses,**_

_**but it was not a Phil Collins song.**_

_**It might have been like Mike **_

_**And The Mechanics.**_

Deadpool:_**" I don't know who that is."**_

Marceline:" _**Yes, you do, he was the other guy in Genesis."**_

Deadpool:" _**Mmmm, I'm pretty sure that it was Phil Collins."**_

Marceline:" _**No it wasn't."**_

Both:" _**On the night, I laid you down."**_

Deadpool:" _**Anyway."**_

Marceline_**:" Anyway."**_

Deadpool_**:" We made love."**_

Marceline:" _**We made love."**_

Both:" _**Until The Dawn."**_

Deadpool:" _**Two hearts beating."**_

Marceline:" _**Two hearts beating."**_

Deadpool:" _**Is all we heard."**_

Marceline:" _**Oh boy here we go."**_

Deadpool:" _**Besides that old…."**_

Marceinle:" _**There was F***ING no."**_

Both:" _**Phil Collins song."**_

Deadpool:" _**Well, it might have been that song from the movie with the jambox."**_

Marceline:" _**Say Anything."**_

Deadpool:" _**That's the one."**_

Marceline:" _**Who the hell mixes up Peter Gabriel with Phil Collins?"**_

Deadpool:" _**Well F*** you I guess I'm no expert."**_

Marceline:" _**No you're not."**_

Deadpool:" _**In F***ing 90's music."**_

Marceinle:" _**80's."**_

Deadpool:" _**Whatever."**_

Both:" _**On the night, I laid you down.**_

_**On the night, I laid you down."**_

Instruments stop

_Candy Kingdom_-

After hearing about Marceline and the "Man in Red and black," Princess Bubblegum made her way to Lemongrab Castle. Banana guards were hauling bodies of the imprisoned lemon people to her lab while the princess was overlooking the "clean up" job from a distance.

Banana Guard #1:" Hey princess…all the lemon people,"

Princess Bubblegum:" Corpses," she corrected.

Banana guard #1:" uh…okay. All the "corpses" are ready to be moved. Should I call Starchy and tell him to make some room in the Cemetrary."

Princess:" Nah, have em shipped to my lab. Why waste lemons?"

Banana Guard #1:" Ummm, isn't that like, bad karma?"

Princess Bubblegum:" *sigh* Karma can bite me. I'm making the best of this situation. If anything I can get back the food those two wads made the lemon people out of."

Banana Guard #1:" Wow, time to play idiot," He admitted while being shocked from the Princesse's order.

Princess Bubblegum:" This needs to be delt with, like yesterday."

?:" You interrupted me when I had the munchies for this?"

Princess Bubblegum:" Don't act like you had something better planned."

?:" Eh, true dat. What's my end of the deal any who-sal bees?"

Princess Bubblegum:" Simple. You get the souls of the Lemon People,"

?:" I'm liking it so far,"

Princess Bubblegum:" And all you have to do, is take this Deadpool clown to the back with you to the Nightosphere. Capiche?"

?:" *sigh* What's my motivation here? I could be knee deep in process meat and mustard , and for what. Your vindictive crap pile for this Deadpool character."

Princess Bubblegum:" Let's sweeten the pot then. FYI. Your daughter is working with him. I'll imprison you're her while you take out Deadpool."

Hunson Abadeer:" …..and how would you like him? Dead on Arrival or tortured till he cries crocodile tears?"

Princess Bubblegum:" What if's."


	5. Chapter 18: Severed ties

On the outskirts of Ooo where the rich greenery of the forest starts to dry out and die, lies the great mountain ranges. It's inhabitants are usually traders that are forced to go through the proverbial labyrinth. Pistachio colored walls can dwarf most creatures that go through the mountain ranges narrow trails. One particular trail leads to what the naked eye would see as a dead end. That's what they want you to think. While I embrace my paranoia in a positive and satirical way, that's not the case here. "They" are Wizards, they want you to think it's a dead end, they laugh at you when you look at the dead end as if you've made a wrong turn. Jokes on you, the wall is just a spell they use to hide Wizard city. Like Daigon Alley, it hides the foremost authority figures of magic. Rows of shops that cater to witches and wizards alike stretch out as far as the Grand Master Wizards's palace. However , they don't take too kindly to anyone who enters that isn't a magic user. So much so they created a special task force that hunts non-magic users down and usually kills them on the spot. Other than that, the inhabitants are pretty down to Ooo kind of people.

One wizard in particular had just finished her job teaching children in Thief City archery. Huntress wizard just entered the city heading to her usual dive bar. She pushed open the saloon like doors with both hands , allowing sunlight to saturate her frame. Everyone at the bar saw her power walk to a bar stool , but couldn't help eyeing her. She had a decent build for a magic user. Literally , leaf green hair hidden in a leather hood with twigs sticking out like antlers. Her belt held on tightly to her purple vest and light brown pants, but what stood out was her boots that hiked up over her knees.

Being familiar with the bartender, she just waved and poof , like magic, a hefty tankard of ale.

Laser Wizard:" Heh, I think your eyes are bigger than your liver Huntress," he said in a concerned fashion while taking a seat next to huntress.

She didn't bother to respond with words, her mouth was busy wrapping itself on the brim of the tankard. Instead she put her hand up, palm open, right in Laser Wizards...what i'm assuming is his yellow diamond shaped face.

Huntress Wizard:" *gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp*," sounds of Huntress cannon balling her ale.

Laser Wizard:" Really? "The hand ""Huntress, *grabs Huntress's hand* uhh hello, Earth called it wants it`s cliché hand gesture back."

Huntress is still chugging her ale, but yanks her hand back , only to make another hand gesture that wouldn`t exactly fit her anatomy if given the option.

Laser Wizard:" *sigh* I was trying to ease out whatever crawled up your butt, ch-il-ax girl."

The Tankard was empty, which gave Huntress the use of her foul mouth.

Huntress Wizard:" You lookin ta get F***ed by my 12 inch CL**, cause I swear I'll make you my prison B**ch right here right now?," she gave her threat still seated , but staring down Laser Wizard like a deer that saw a car with headlights."

Laser Wizard:" Woah, chill!"

Huntress Wizard:" Grrr, It's the stupid economy. After Bella Noche bunked up Wizard City, we lost our rep. Lost all my clients, lost my special seat at the Donut Depot, now I'm stuck teaching archery to make ends meat."

Laser Wizard:" eh, could be worse."

Huntress Wizard:" How so?"

Laser Wizard:" huh, no I'm just saying it could be worse, I'm no good at improve."

Huntress Wizard:" Oh beielve me , it got worse. I teach kids from Thief City. Those snot nosed donks promised me 10% each of what they earn."

Laser Wizard:" They hustled ya huh."

Huntress Wizard:" Like a frikin discothèque."

Laser Wizard:" At least it's over, Ice Kings lady fiend took care of that."

Huntress Wizard:" What? BARKEEP, ANOTHER!."

Within seconds another full tankard was sent her way. 

Huntress Wizard:" Okay say that again," her demand was silenced when she started chugging her ale."

Laser Wizard:" Ice kings…

Huntress Wizard:" *SPIT TAKE*."

Laser Wizard:" AHHH COME ON. For real? More booze just to spit at me."

Huntress Wizard:" This is about cheering me up dingus not you. So you're telling me, that Betty chick, is letting Ice King "dip his quill" in? HAHAHAHAHAH!"

Laser Wizard:" Charming as always."

Huntress Wizard:" Oh GLOB, HAH. I need that. You're right about things getting worse, I could have that skirts job. HAH!"

RUMBLE

Laser Wizard:" EARTHQUAKE? oh wait, it's probably the grandmaster making brown in his new porcelain throne."

Huntress Wizard:" Whatever it was , made me spill my ALE!"

A shroud of leaves passed all corners of the bar while circling Huntress. This was how she got around in a snap. She teleported to the outside near the entrance to Wizard City to see what caused the earthquake. Stationed near the entrance was one of the guards, sleeping.

Huntress Wizard:" HEY!."

Guard:" huh ," answered the guard angrily. "whaaATT?"

Huntress Wizard:" Didn't you feel that earthquake? It had to of come from outside. Unless it's an amateur geomancer trying to show off."

Guard:" *yawn* great deductive skills, maybe you should guard and let me sleep."

Huntress Wizard:" GRR. Fine, got nothing better to do."

Huntress walked over to the entrance only to hear voices from the other side of the hidden entrance. She put her ear against the stone wall, if anything else, just to be entertained.

_Outside the Entrance of Wizard City_-

?:" Sons of brawlers, I am ...Deadpool!

Maurader #1:" uh….who?"

Deadpool:" Yes I'm sure you've heard. Kills people by the bakers dozen , and shoots bullets through is arse…hehe, arse…I'm saying that from now on."

Maurader #1:" Dude, we still don't know who you are. We're all here cause you promised us some decent fights."

The narrow corridor that lead to the entrance of Wiazard City was now filled with a horde of marauders. Viking like creatures with blue skin with muscles on top of muscles. Deadpool brought them there with the promise of rough housing. Plus it gave him the excuse to put on blue make up.

Deadpool:" Oh aye , I did indeed, in fact they're beyond this great wall of ….wall-e-ess."

*The Disney Robot?*

(Too many movie references there Spielberg)

Deadpool:" Wanna know what I see….."

SMACK 

Deadpool:" OUCH, The hell?"

Marceline:" Did you seriously expect an answer from a rhetorical question?"

Deadpool:" Depends….was that a rhetorical question?"

SMACK

Deadpool:" DAMMIT, fine…ahem..I SEE A HORDE OF MY FELLOW CHAOTIC NEUTRAL NO-DO-GOODERS, but what good are your "mad skills" without some variety? Do you honestly enjoy just beating each other?"

*Don't give them a chance to answer*

(Shhh, don't question greatness)

Mauder #2:" Hmm, actually ..things have been stiff lately."

(Nailed it.)

*Don't add to the innuendo fire*

Marauder #1:" Woah woah , hold it there buddy, are you dissing us?"

Deadpool:" Nope, I'm sayin that you don't know how good you are until you challenged every type of fighter. *points at wall with katana* Beyond this wall lives the most powerful wizards in Ooo. And from what my most trusted source of information tells me…."

Marceline:"*gives peace sign* Yo."

Deadpool:" …She tells me that this is a city that kills non-magic users on site, no trial , no jury, just poof and your're gone. How bad arse is that? I'm not asking you to just test your skills as fighters. Am asking if you guys are ready to liberate this city from its tyrannical bonds and usher in a new regime of chaos. I HAD A DREAM, WHERE LITTLE MARAUDER BOYS AND LITLLE MARAUDER GIRLS DRANK FROM THE MAGIC RIVERS OF PROSPERITY , FREE FROM THE THIRST OF OPPRESSION. WILL YOU JOIN ME IN MAKING MY DREAM YOUR REALITY?"

crickets

Marauder #1:" Uhhh, What?"

Marceline walks over next to Deadpool and shoves him out of the way so she can address the crowd.

Marceline:" ahem…THOSE PU**IES THINK YOU GUYS AIN'T S**T. GET EM!," she shouted that from the top of her lungs."

Marauder #1:" WHAT? MAKE EM BLEED MEN, CHARGE."

Marceline:" WIZARDS RULE, BUT THEY KINDA SUCK!"

That insult contained the password to remove to wall that separated the city. This let the marauders without any trouble, and the first to see them was Huntress Wizard.

Huntress Wizard:" Oh glob it, SCRAMBLE!."

_Outside the city_

Macreline:" And that's how you get them riled up, how'd I do."

Deadpool:" I think somewhere in Hell General Patton just pooped his pants, but come on I didn't even get to finish my speech. I was gonna moon all the wizards when you opened the gate."

Marceline:" Goal is to beat them up, not blind them."

Deadpool:" Touché, ladies first."

Marceline:" Thank you good sir, HEEEYAAAAAAA!"

Deadpool pulls out his other katana while Marceline charges in with her axe bass. The Marauders already started spotting random wizards and began their assault. Rock Wizard cast a meteor shower on the group to slow them down, but failed when he realized they actually liked it. Marauder #1 started punching him in the face until his fists started to bleed, then he punched harder when his hand started to go numb, very good strategy.

Dimension Wizard opened a portal to stop two Marauders coming at him. They disappeared, but Dimension Wizard forgot that his trick always involved the exit portal. Since they took him by surprise he forgot to assign a location for that one. By default the exit portal appeared above him, causing the two Marauders to fall right on top of him. When they realized what happened they gave each other a manly fist bump.

Naked Wizard….despite being a naked old man with a beard that rivaled Ice Kings, summoned storm clouds that shot lightning bolts at a few Marauders , knocking them out temporary while leaving a few burns. He did a little naked dance until Marceline hit him in the back of the head with the back of her axe. She already saw Deadpool naked, and that was enough for her for a while.

Deadpool was the last to join the party. Little did he know that someone was perched at the guard tower looking right at him. It was Huntress Wizard, steadying her bow as she pulled back the strings and let an arrow fly right at Deadpool. To her dismay her heard it coming. He spun around with lightning reflexes and cut the arrow in half with his katana. Huntress jumped down and was now merely a few feet from or Merc.

Huntress Wizard:" So… you must be Deadpool?"

Deadpool:" Why yes I am, I'm assuming you've heard of my arse?"

Huntress Wizard:" NO YOU DINGBAT, AND STOP SAYING ARSE, IT'S LAME."

Deadpool:" Take that back ! Mel Gibson owns ya , you frikin butt. What the heck are you anyway? Some Rule 63 version of Mega Man 2's Woodman and Hawkeye?"

Huntress Wizard:"The Huntress Wizard , and dude what's your deal? Do you even listen to yourself talk?"

*Should we tell her*

(Would she listen?)

Deadpool:" Totally, but I much prefer to listen to the subtle tones of my enemies beg me not to pluck their eyes out."

Huntress:" Bring it on clown!"

The two combatants ran towards each other. Huntress grabbed a couple of daggers from her belt while Deadpool stuck with his katanas to fight. Their blades met in the middle, but continued with a barrage of slashes from both parties. Huntress blocked all of Deadpool attacks , with each one bringing down a decent amount of force that caused her to start backing up. Concerned with her safety, she muttered a spell under her voice that summoned the leaves from before. She disappeared from Deadpools assault , leaving him dumbfounded as to her whereabouts. He scanned his perimeter without any luck. This left Huntress to set herself up for another shot with her arrows. This time she enchanted one with a spell that made the tips explosive on impact. As she pulled back the strings she chuckled a bit, thinking this was too easy. Big mistake.

Deadpool:" BANG !"

Deadpool pulled out his pistol and shot Huntress in the hand, disarming her completely. Her arrow fell right at her feet, and as expected, it blew up on impact. The explosions sent huntress flying across Wizard City with a trail of smoke behind her.

Deadpool:" HEY HUNTRESS, GUESS WHO BRINGS A GUN TO A MAGIC FIGHT…THE WINNER B***CH!"

When the smoked cleared from the explosion, all that was left from the fight was the better portion of the wizard and witch population on the ground defeated. The Marauders saw this and cheered a manly "HOO RAA," confirming their victory to the entire city.

Marauder #1:" HOO RAAH, Deadpool, you were totes about this battle. I never thought about puttin the hurt on some wizards. Best fight I've ever been in."

Deadpool:" Well, you still have one more person to fight…me."

Marauder #1:" Is that a fact string bean, name the time and place and we'll have ourselves a rumble. "

_Oooo Cemetary_

The cemetery housed all of the dearly departed of Ooo. It was ruled by Ghost Princess until she transcended and was sent to the great beyond with her lover. Now the occupants who still had "souls" continued on without her. Most of them were low class possessed skeletons and zombies. The sky remained a gloomy and grey as a gravestone. Plant life was nonexistent except for the occasional bouquet of flowers.

Ghost #1:" Hey dude , check it out , my lady left me some tulips." The ghost boasted, sitting on his own tombstone."

Ghost#2:" Uhh, No, those were for me. Plus she was my wife….WAIT A SECOND, SHE WAS CHEATING ON ME WITH YOU" The ghost was yelling accusations of infidelity.

Ghost#1:" Ohh, ummm. About that. I may …or may not, I don't remember half the junk I knew when I had guts, but I may have thrown a fridge on top of you out of jealousy."

Ghost#2:" Wha-that's how I died"

Ghost#1:" maybe, probably not…..but if it did happen , it was your fault for having such a heavy fridge."

Ghost#3:" Okay , first off she was my women, second , the fault belong to the both of you."

Ghost#2:" not you too,"

Ghost#3:" All that I know , is that I was minding my own business sitting in a fridge."

Their conversation was interrupted with the sounds the Marauders. The ghosts saw that they had surrounded a small table, and had set up a brown tarp over their heads, it almost looked like it was a market place vender. In this situation however, where there's marauders, there's roughhousing. When there's roughhousing …there's usually ….

Marceline:" DEADPOOL, USE THE POWER OF YOUR JERKIN ARM."She shouted with her hands surrounding her mouth. Marceline was cheering on Deadpool as he was one of the finalist in the marauders arm wrestling completion. They found the group while Marceline was flying over the cemetery. She knew them and wanted to introduce Deadpool. The leader of the marauders welcomed them both , and let them compete with the other.

Deadpool:" Ugggh a little busy here," Said Deadpool, forcing his words out. He was a bit of a pinch since he was up against the lead maurader. He was wearing his trademark Viking helmet, bushing yellow beard that matched his shirt. The sleeves of that shirt housed the Marauder's biceps of blue epicness. A smile went across his face because Deadpool was struggle with his right arm. Standing , forcing his wait on his hand, he even was allowed to use his other arm, but no matter what, the marauder's arm didn't budge.

Marauder #1:" WHOOOO. HOOO YAAA. Come on D.P. Show me what you got. GRIT YOUR TEETH BROTHER !"

*Say it, say it*

( Epsiode 8 , THINK OF EPISODE 8!)

Deadpool:" Oretachi wo dare da to omotte YAGARUUUUUU?!" Those words caused the Other marauders to yell and cheer loud enough to wake the dead, maybe that's why they're in a cemetery. Deadpool gave it his all and put all of his strength into one last effort. The force of his muscles went arm to arm with the marauder's.

Deadpool:" HA HAAAA…..CRUNCH "Deadpools arm gave out, along with a dislocated shoulder that was now hanging from his torso. The marauder then pinned that part to the table, leading everyone in a cheer of praise and sportsmen ship.

Maurader#1:" Deadpool, that was HARDCORE BUD!"

Deadpool:" I know, but I tend to use this arm for soo many good things. " Deadpool complained, anticipating the pain when he grabbed his right shoulder, and popped it back in place.

Maruader#1:" Right on brother, you took it like a man and fixed yourself up. Marcy you should've brought this guy around sooner."

Marceline:" yeah yeah enough male bonding "rub my ego" time."Marcy said , moving out of the crowed and into Deadpool's chair." You still need to beat me." She reminded the marauder while extending her elbow to the table, with an opened right hand.

From the crowed:

#2 maurader:" YEAH, This is what I've been waitin for."

#3 Maurader:" TAKE HER OUT BOSSMAN, I wanna see some BLOOD."

#2:" *turns to Maurader #3* It's always blood with you isn't it?"

#3:" NOT IN FRONT OF THE BROS DUDE!"

#2:" "It's always something with you."

At the table:"

Deadpool shows up at Marcelines side in a yellow sports jacket, black pants and a beanie cap.

Deadpool:" You got notin on her see. You gonna get ya blocked knocked off and dem some. Ya can't beat her ya bum, She's a WRECKIN MACHINE!" Deadpool shouts at the marauder."

*We are on fire with the culture references tonight*

( Tonights theme seems to be testosterone filled characters)

*Hope Marcy doesn't get preggers just being around all of the AWESOMENESS*

Both marauder #1 and Marceline joined hands in the middle of the table. As soon as their grips were tightened, it was on!

Marceline:" HEEEYAAAA." That yell inspired her arm to take the marauder's through the table with one loud crash sending the marauder down with it. Everyone was in shock until Deadpool grabbed Marcy's hand and brought it up in the air.

Deadpool:" And the winner by elimination , MARCELINE "STEEL HAMMER" ABADEER."

A roar of applause and foot stomping came from everyone. Marceline love the spot light , so she raiased her other hand and gave a "HOO RAAA" with every responding with " HOO RAA MARCY!."

Deadpool:" YES, Marceline the vampire queen, El Diablo Taco …

smack

Marceline gave another Gibb's style slap to the back of Deadpool's head.

Deadpool:" Duke of Debauchery ,"

Smack

Deadpool:" Monarch of the munchies,"

smack

Deadpool:" Sultan of sucking.."

Whack

Deadpool:" Earl of …

Marceline:" They get the point you dork!"

whack

Deadpool:" Oww, " Deadpool starts rubbing the back of his head."ya could of at least thank me."

Marceline:" thank you for what? "

Deadpool:" I weakened him for you. Just like loosing a pickle a jar…"

Marauder:" Keep telling yourself that D.P. "

The group laughed their cares away. In this moment , nothing else mattered , but good times with good people. There were no pressures of life's obligations intervening in their merriment.

Marceline:" This is just what I needed ." She said interlocking her fingers and stretching over her head.

Deadpool:" Well, I'm glad you got your toothy grin back, but can we get back to the chaos thing already. That last chapter made me feel emotions and stuff."

Marceline pulled out her Ooo map, but Marauder #1 took it and pointed to a specific location

Marauder #1:" You wanna do some damage? Put your awesomeness into the Fire Kingdom."

Marceline:" Fire Kingdom?"

Deadpool:" *gasp* Fire Island," He said with bug eyes and clenching his butthole.

*The gay resort of gaydom*

( Where the cornfields are used for all the wrong reasons)

Marauder #1:" I'm dead serious. When the Flame Princess De-throned her pops, it's been nothing but a snooze fest. No fighting, to rough contact sports, No lying. "

Marceline:" So wait , she made the Fire Kingdom peaceful, I can relate to her locking up her spaz of a dad , but going that far." She said while looking at Deadpool, waiting for a response.

Deadpool:" Hmm we must rectum-fy the situation, and return Fire Island to its former Glory hole."

Macrceline:" It's the FIRE kingdom," she said grabbing her hair. " You won't find your beach house there, sry."

The celebration was put on hold. A portal had opened up right in the middle of the crowd. Deadpool thought this was Eris joining the fun, but this particular portal looked different. It was shaped like the eyes of a cat, with light blue and green spectral shadows lining the inside. Everyone started to back away from it. The Marauders knew who this portal belonged to. Deadpool and Marceline were the only ones staring at it, waiting to see who would come out. A pair of Italian shoes were the first thing to exit. A pair of legs and torso soon followed. From what Deadpool could see it was a man, dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and red tie. He'd look almost human if it wasn't for his pointy ears and pale complexion.

Hunson:" Phew, guess I'm still in time for happy hour."

Marceline:" Dad?"

Deadpool:" That's your dad? "

Hunson:" Eeyup. Let's save the chit chat for later, as for you young lady."

Marceline:" DAD! I'm over 1000 years old, do we have to have this conversation again."

Hunson:" *chuckle* of course not my little monster….cause there's a dungeon back at the Candy Kingdom with your name on it, and for you sir*points at Deadpool* you're coming with me."

Hunson chanted a few incantation that opened another portal. It opened behind Macreline, sucking her in and closing just as fast.

Deadpool:" MARCY!"

Whack

Hunson smacked Deapool on the back of the head. Unlike his daughters slaps, this one knock Deadpool unconscious, falling to the ground. Mr. Abadeer walked towards Deadpool's limp body and kicked him in the portal he just arrived in. When Hunson went through the same portal , it closed behind him, leaving the Marauders speechless.

_Flashback: S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier_

Nick Fury:" Cards on the table Doc, what exactly are we dealing with here? Is he nuts or what?

Deadpool:" Uhh, I can hear you igits from behind the glass."

Nick Fury:" Ignore it, it'll just give em an excuse you make me mad."

Dr. Wertham:" Very well. Based on my interviews with him, Deadpool claims that he's a comic book character. In consequence he's killed every person in his life who has ever told him to do anything. This list includes, but is not limited to: shooting both parents, who had told him to clean his room; sitting on his cat, who at the time was begging for food; slicing through 48 different Girl Scout Cookie Girls, for telling him to "buy our cookies;" gutting P-Diddy, for telling him to "get out and vote;" murdered a number of girlfriends in various, unmentionable ways for telling him "not to stop."

Nick Fury:" Which I'm guessing is a bunch of bulls***?"

Dr. Wertham: " Well P-Diddy is still alive so…"

Nick Fury:" I know that Doctor. Even so I take whatever that mercenary says with a grain of salt and a shot of whisky….continue."

Dr. Wertham:" My biggest problem in studying his body language, umm, frankly he refused to conduct a session without having his guns drawn and laser sights directly in my eyes. Even when we started sessions , he was just impossible to work with. He kept telling me to "f***" myself everytime I open my mouth to communicate with him, even when I'm just yawning."

Nick Fury:" Doc this man security level is about to go higher than my LDL score. Just give me your diagnosis and spare me the details."

Dr. Wertham:" There in lies the problem director Fury. He could have Oppositional Definat Disorder with self mutiation tendencies, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Sociopathy, Paranoid Schizophrenia , Dissociative Identity Personality Disorder, Delusions Of Grandeur. His cancer, while tragic, have damaged his brain, but at the same time his healing factor brings them back. Unless you eliminate his healing mutation, I don't think I can give you a straight answer."

_The Nightosphere_

Hunson:" Waky Waky eggs and Baky."

Deadpool:" ugh, what the hell buddy? Now I know where your daughter picked up that head slap trick. Where am I."

Hunson:" That's kind of two parter yound fella. You see you're in the Nightosphere, My realm of chaos. I guess you can think of it as your worlds version of hell. Yes I know you're not from this planet, but we'll get to that later, or maybe we won't. Depends if I let you leave with your tongue still in your yapper. Part two , you're on an operating table in my home."

Deadpool:" *looks around* Cold metal slab, I thought this felt familiar."

Deadpool saw that he was back where his nightmares usually begin. Bound to an operating table waited to be poked with a scalpel or tortured beyond what humans could handle.

Deadpool:" So what do you plan on doing to me?"

Hunson:" Depends, what hasn't happened to you. In case you're still a little woozy. I took your mask off and WOW. I was not expecting that much damage."

Deadpool:' *gasp* MY FACE, WHERE IS MY FACE…..Really, nothing, The Watchman, hello?"

()

Deadpool:" Umm, that's odd. Usually my thoughts would make a witty comeback by now and call me a douche."

Hunson:" *chuckle* Okay fine, I was gonna wait later, but it's just too good to keep to myself."

Hunson inched his head closer to Deadpool. His fanged mouth was right next to Deadpool's ear. After that came some distressing news.

Hunson:" *whisper* I removed your healing powers."

Deadpool:" You..You…did what?"

Hunson:" Hah, you heard me. Actually you should be kissing my feet. As soon as your powers fizzled, you grew back your skin and hair. Not bad by the way. *wink wink*. That might change though. I heard you like electricity."

Deadpool heard a switch go off, and the hum of something charging. He took another look at his body and saw that electrodes were placed on his naked feet as well as his fingertips. Hunson moved over to the device making the hum sound. All Deadpool could see was Hunson's hand hovering over a switch that was labeled "Volts."

Hunson:" I know what you're thinking and don't you worry. This won't hurt…me ….one bit."

Deadpool:" YOU F***ING PIECE OF BAT S***. YOU BETTER PRAY TO THE GODS OF THUNDER CUN** THAT I DON'T LIVE THROUGH THIS, CAUSE I SWEAR AFTER THIS IS OVER I'M GONNA TWIST OFF YOUR F***ING HEAD AND SKULL F*** YOU! YOU F*** WITH THE WRONG SOLDIER!"

Hunson:" Looking forward to it…or not."

SWITCH FLIPPED TO 100 VOLTS


	6. Chapter 19: Jail Break

Hey everyone. Sorry that the Chapters are a bit shorter than my other ones, but work has been hell the last couple of weeks and I haven't had the time to concentrate….or maybe I'm just being a D*** and building suspense. LOL. Anyway, so far I have three series that people have shown interests in to put Deadpool in next. Since this story arc has a few chapters left , I thought I should start planning on the next one. So far we have:

Harry Potter

NCIS

And The Regular Show.

I'd like to see one more added just to see what I can come up with.

Enjoy the latest chapter ya'll

-D-Piddy8256

_Princess Bubblegum's lab_

Anatomy, Physiology , Anthropology, chemistry, together this plethora of college major subjects makes up bulk of Princess Bubblegum. Morbid curiosity has been the fuel that helped burn her passion for science, especially if it could help the Candy Kingdom. That thought more than anything, has always been her end to justify her means. Even now the thoughts of the Candy Kingdom went through her head , as she bent over one of the Lemon People corpses she procured and transported to her lab from Lemongrab castle.

The corpse had been sprawled out on her aluminum table with prodding needles jammed into each lemony appendage. 4 pairs of forceps helped keep the skin from coiling up on itself, leaving Bubblegum to crack what appeared to be ribs.

Princess Bubblegum:" Hmmm, *sniff* the thoracic cage is giving of the scent of Lemon Heads (the candy if you can remember.)

Princess Bubblegum:" …..and let's see," she said in a casual tone while elbow deep in one the Lemon People's insides. She removes every organ out of its cavity , but not before a quick inspection."

Princess Bubblegum:" And we have an enlarged pancreas , atrophied heart, " she goes through every organ, measuring them one by one as if she was in the produce section of a market. Then she'd set the on a different table and dissect them. Small slivers were cut and taken to her mass spectrometer to show what foreign contents may have been introduced to the Lemon People. Poisons, metals, sand, etc, all she wanted t do was feed her curiosity. Then she got a visit.

Peppermint Butler:" Sorry to disturb you Princess." He said in a pathetic and apologetic tone.

Princess Bubblegum:" *sigh* This had better be important , I'm totally in the zone right now."

Peppermint Butler:" It's Ms. Abbadeer ma lady. She's threatened another one of the banana guards. That makes three in the last hour and they've gone through most of your ice cream."

Princess Bubblegum:" My ice cream? Why would get the urge to consume my ice cream after Marcy threatened them?"

Peppermint Butler:" They said it helped with the emotional " owies, shall I inform them that…"

Princess Bubblegum:" That the only flavor I have in there is peanut butter and banana ice cream? Nah, let them figure it out."

Peppermint Butler:" a wise choice ma lady, also , since Ms Abadeer isn't compliant with our hospitality , shall flash the light on and off again?"

Princess Bubble:" I'll it handle it. "

Peppermint Butler:" Yes ma lady."

Princess Bubblegum put down her tool and made her way to the exit, stripping herself of her medical attire. Underneath was a sleepless pink top and pink spandex tights. She headed downstairs towards the dungeon, thinking about how to explain herself to Marceline about what she did to Deadpool. Heading down the 1st floor of the basement area of the castle, she grabbed a torch to maneuver around the dungeon. It was your typical "jail house" setting. The third cell of Bubblegum's right was the location of the dungeons newest inmate.

Marceline was in a kneeling position with her wrists bound to chains from the floor, wearing only an orange tank top with the same colored cheap pants. In front of her was a UV light that was just out of arms reach from Marceline. It's switch of on the outside of the cell on the adjacent wall. The princess set herself up on a stool right next to the switch and right in front of Marceline's cell.

Princess Bubblegum:" You ungrateful little child. I free you from the clutches of that idiot and you're sulking."

Marceline:" Free me…you've got balls Bubblehgum….I teamed up with him , because I wanted to , he didn't force me to do anything," she said trying her best to keep her anger in check.

Princess Bubblegum:" So you ruin my party, slit the throats of the lemon people, torture Lemongrab by getting zapped for opening his mouth, raid Wizard city, all for what," she asked being irritatingly intrusive.

Marceline:" He saved your lame party and taught those wizards that non magic users can kick some ass. As far as Lemongrab castle, you should be kissing the farthest corner of my butt."

Princess Bubblegum:" Don't push me Marcy. Don't think I won't use my authority to make life harsh for you just because we have history."

Marceline:" *chuckle* you idiot, that was the problem with our relationship in the first place. You always had to control EVERYTHING! You treated me like you do you're people, do what you think is best for us through manipulation, fear, lying and keeping what might be a little harsh reality away form us. I mean come on Bonnibel, you bailed on Lemongrab Castle and the Lemon people just to keep your kingdom happy. You wanted them to take each other out and forget it ever happened. Well guess what , I won't. I remember you putting your faith in a Lemon child to save them when all you did was bunk to help them. "

Princess Bubblegum:" I did it to protect my kingdom from realizing the truth about Lemongrab."

Marceline:" You did it to save your own ass Bonnie."

Princess Bubblegum:" *grr* I did what's best for us back then and I'm doing it now because I have the burden of knowledge and I know that.."

Marceline:" YOU'RE NOT MY MOM! STOP LETTING THE CANDY PEOPLE SUCK AT YOUR F***ING TIT AND LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES!," She yelled in a fit of anger, rage , and hunger."

Princess Bubblegum:" *Flick*" The UV light shot out a beam strong enough to make Marceline burn, like acid on freshly exposed skin, making a fizzle sound that could be compared to frying bacon.

Marceleine:"* HISSSS* AHHHHH, GLOB IT STOOOOOP!"

Princess Bubblegum:" Banana guards, take turns on this prisoner by flicking her switch on."

Marceline:" *chuckle* Heh heh heh HAHA!"

Princess Bubblegum:" WHAT'S SO FUNNY YOU TART?"

Marceline:" Phrasing …think about it," she made a joke, even after being scorched by her former lover.

Princess Bubble:" *blush* BANANA GUARDS!," she yelled

A banana guard burst through the dungeon door in a fit of panic and terror. He slid through like the infamous Kramer from Seinfeld and gave a salute to the Princess.

Banana Guard:" Uhh princess , I've got good news and bad news."

Princess Bubblegum:" *sigh* Bad news first, you tend to be a drama queen."

Banana guard:" Well uh, there's an intruder on the lower levels of the dungeon. She's been attacking the rest of the Banana Guards with butcher knives and to make matters worst, I think she's working for Deadpool, She's got his outfit on …and …and well…that's where the good news comes in."

Princess Bubblegum:" I'm listening."

Banana Guard:" She's totally hot!"

Princess Bubblegum:" That's …..wait WHAT? That's it for the good news?"

Peppermint Butler manages to scoot by the Banana guard and grabbed the Princesses arm.

Peppermint Butler:" Princess , I must get you to safety. We have an intruder in the dungeon.

Princess Bubblehum:" DOY ! Just get me out of here before…."

Banana Guard:" Umm , I think she's here Princess."

Princess Bubblegum:" How do you know that."

Banana guard:" I can't feel my legs.." A barrage of metallic swipes went across the Banana guard. "or anything else."

The Banana Guard fell to the dirty dungeon in 5 separate slices, with each slice dropping off from top to bottom, slowly revealing who the intruder was. She did in fact wear Deadpool's trademark outfit. However this individual made his suit look good. It had all the curves of a women in her early twenties with the "ba donk a donk" of a Victoria Secret model and long pink hair tied in a "pony" tail from the back of her mask. She clenched two butcher knives like Miyamoto Musashi did with his katanas, pointed with the blade down until she decided to let them work their magic.

?:" Who runs this candy coated dump?"

Pepermint Butler:" How dare you address the Princess in such a ,"

Slice

?:" Wrong answer you poor excuse for a salt lick." She said having moved from her spot behind what's left of the guard, to cutting Peppermint Butler in half with one quick swipe. Now she was face to face with Princess Bubblegum and inching her way closer to her face.

?:" Then again, you are the only person in the room, aside from the prisoner, but I doubt she'd be considered a "princess" unless this was like , some sort of weird kinky sex dungeon. So that leaves you, I guess he technically did answer my questions, whoopsee." She said realizing she just pulled a "Derpy."

Princess Bubblegum:" If you know what's good for you you'll."

The intruder pounced on Princess Bubblegum, taking the time to drop one of her knives to pin her arms behind her back on force her on weight on them. Princess Bubblegum yelp until the intruder brought the other butcher knife to her face. All that could come from the Princesses mouth was…

Princess Bubblegum:" EEEP!" she yeeped.

?:" You must be Princess Bubblegum *sniff* Ohhh yeah, original flavor….you know, I can chew bubblegum for hours." She exclaimed giving looking right at the princess.

Marceline:" Don't bother, she loses flavor after 3 minutes." She added as she knew this conversation was going to get good , especially since in her favor.

Princess Bubblegum:" MARCY YOU LITTLE BI*."

SLAP

?:" Shh, you are not in a position to say A-NY-TH-ING," she said spelling out the Princess's lack of control in this situation. " Here's MY plan, on what's gonna happen next. You're gonna release Marceline, I LOVE YOU'RE HAIR BY THE WAY…."

Marceline:" Same to you, couldn't it have been red though, I'm kinda hungry."

?:" Oky doky loky, anyway, you're going to give me the keys to her cell , then you'll stand up , and fly out of here like a Fruit Bat out of a dead tree. "

Marceline:" THEY'RE HERE ON THE STOOL," she yelled.

?:" New plan,"

Whack

The intruder dropped her other knife and gave the Princess a backhand to the head, knocking her out in a deep slumber. Then she stood up and retrieved the keys, heading over to the cell Marceline was currently occupying.

Marceline:" Okay, let me guess. You work for Deadpool?"

?:" ummm, this was more like a search and rescue deal. A friend of mine made the costume, but isn't AWESOME!"

Marceline:" Heh, I'll give you that, but right now I'm guessing you want to find Deadpool as bad as I do right now."

?:" Uh huh, who better to rescue him than his friends?"

Marceline:" Wait, he has friends?"

?:" Eeyup, he just plays hard to get, once you get to know him he's really a nice guy."

Marceline:" Well I think his ear's are burning so let's split…."

?:" Like a…..

Marceline :" *sigh* you must know Deadpool, yes like a banana …..guard. Wait I don't even know you're name."

?:" Pinkamena Diane Pie, but everyone just calls me Pinkie."

Marceline:" They call you Pink-ie….Nooo, I can't imagine why," She responded sarcastically taking note of her long straight pink hair.

Pinkie pool and Deadpool team up in the next chapter, but will Deadpool be as effective now that he's lost his healing powers? And what else does Hunson have planned for Deadpool in the NIghtosphere.? Will find out in the next chapter.


	7. Chapter 20: Pinkie Pie Vs Hunson

I have the top 4 places to send Deadpool for the next saga.

Regular Show

Harry Potter

NCIS

Pokemon.

Leave a review and vote for the new Universe setting for the next Deadpool Agent of Chaos Saga.

Thank Ya'll.

D-Piddy8256

_Hunson Abadeer's Mountain Top House/cave_

Everyone in the Nightosphere knew what Hunson was up to. Torturing a foreign invader who had just so happened to let his daughter team up with him, in his own Pilgrimage of Chaos. Hunson didn't really care. In fact just listening to Princess Bubblegum talk about Deadpool's escapades made him laugh on the inside, but the businessman in him couldn't resist the offer of souls from an entire subculture, The Lemon People. "If they were anything like Lemongrab" he thought "They'd make decent demons.

One thing was missing though. The demons knew their master had a gift for torture. So why wasn't there any screams?

Two winged demons got a little curious and peered into the window of Hunson's "house."

Demon #1:" This uhh, is taking him a lot longer than usual."

Demon #2:" Says you, the perfectionist."

Demon #1:" Oh come on. The Master is literally making his spine shiver, I mean the dude is flailing like a Magikarp in the jaws of hell hound who is also on fire and pees molten lava."

Demon #2:" Could that simile be anymore convoluted?"

Demon #1:" Now who's the perfectionist?"

Demon #2:" You're mother's a perfectionist."

Demon #1:" Your mother's a convoluted perfectionist."

Demon:" # 2 Are you calling me a homo?"

Demon #1:" Yea….wait what?"

_Hunson's makeshift Electro Shock Therapy Table_

Electrical current was now running through Deadpool in bursts. At random moments Hunson gives him a shot and increases the voltage slightly every time. Not only did it help damaging various tissues, but it kept Deadpool awake. So far it's been 48 hours of this torture. Every shock that went into Deadpool started with him arcing his back in pain, as the current contracted all of his muscle at the same name. His body jerk around and flailed, leaving his arm sand feet without moving from the secure straps. The effect it had on his body was pretty obvious now that Hunson removed his Healing Factor with dark magic. Fresh burn marks ran all over his body going through his fist layer of skin. His bottom lip suffered the most from Deadpool's teeth biting down when Hunson delivered another shock. I would say that it was because he wouldn't give Hunson the satisfaction, but Deadpool was busy with his own problems.

_Flashback: Butler's Secret Lab in North Korea_

This memory stems back when Deadpool was investigating the orinization that apparently have been harvesting his organs, and erasing his memories afterwards . Butler, was head scientist of the organization, for the purposes of mutant research and developing clones of said mutants. Under the viel of this facility was a secret area Butler had used to treat his dying sister using Deadpool's tissues. Right now Deadpool had found him in his sisters living quarters surrounded by bullet proof glass, and both of them had some words for each other.

Deadpool:" You send me to Weapon X, then Killbrew's hospice , and then to you. Am I just a Lab rat being passed around like peace pipe?"

Butler:" I don't know why you are so vexed Wilson. The past is in the past, let it go and come join me, think of the progress we'll make together. The Koreans have given me a veritable blank check for my research."

Deadpool:" The past is in the past? You're trying to save your sister who from here looks like she should've been 6 feet under as worm fodder by now, and you're telling me to let the past go? Eat a bag of baby D***S you four eyed drama queen. "

Butler:" Drama Queen , heh heh, I like that expression. In fact, "drama queen" was what I thought of when you dove into that pile of burning prisoners trying to escape. Too bad about Carmelita though."

Deadpool:" SHUT UP!," He yelled slamming his fist against the glass.

Butler:" Did I strike a nerve? I mean it's a natural response when you Mr. Wilson are responsible for her Death. Her fate was sealed the moment she led you into bed."

*Actually it was a pimp's ping pong table*

( We wouldn't settle for anything less )

Deadpool:" Not now you guys."

Butler:" What, who are you talking to? Oh wait I get it, you're talking to your personas you create. Sad really. If only you had a bundle of joy to convey your frustrations to."

Deadpool:" Was she in there?"

Butler:" Whoops, I struck another nerve."

Deadpool:" WAS MY DAUGHTER WITH CARM YOU SICK F***?"

Butler:" Honestly I have no idea. I've been tending to my sister while the prisoners were being euthanized . Sorry but you have no one else to blame , but yourself. Everyone you know get's hurt one way or another.

_Present time back in the Nightosphere_-

Hunson:" Holy shmow , is there even a bottom in your pouches?," he asked cleaning out Deadpool's belt pouches. He reaches back in and feels around for more.

Hunson:" You got a pretty good arsenal in pants, no homo."

Deadpool:" ….gh…gh..ghuh guh," these were the only sounds Deadpool could sum up. It wasn't to acknowledge Hunson going through his pouches. He just wanted to get rid of the excess energy from the stress. Since Hunson took away his healing factor, his sanity is slowing returning. That alone has helped him tolerate his past discretions, now they're coming back all at once.

Hunson:" What? Are you chocking on your vomit again? *sigh* now you get the shockies." That being said, he flip the switch again, causing Deadpool go into a painful fit of his body contorting itself into a pretzel while getting a higher dose of voltage. He couldn't focus on trying to block his flashbacks.

_Flashback: Los Angeles Zoo_

Zoo Curator:" YOU KILLED MY ELEPHANT," He yelled in a fit of anger.

Deadpool:" Oh , so were are gonna talk about the elephant in the room, long story short you bought him from my client under a bulls*** alias. I mean come on MR. Peanut , dude you look nothing like Robert Downy Jr."

*Oh yeah, he voiced Mr Peanut in the new commercials*

( Mr. Peanut speaks for himself. Besides in television you don't a nut to play a "nut.")

*Tell that to Psy and his Gangam $$*

Deadpool:" So he wants it back under the "Take-sies back-sies" clause in your verbal contract. "

Zoo Curator:" Why would he want this beautiful majestic creature dead?"

Deadpool:" Oh that was all me! He smacked me in my head with his D***! That is humiliating , I either had to kill myself that night or kill the elephant, I mean cause you know, they never forget and I don't need that kind of gossip

_Present time back in the Nightosphere_

He tried to focus on the ones that were at least humorous at the time. Being bounded to a table without the safety net of a Healing Factor wasn't helping.

Hunson:" Oh come on , this should be a bonding moment for us. Let's change it up a bit and play a game. I'll pull out something from your pouches and you tell me a little something about it, how does that sound?"

Deadpool:" guh...hmmf," he struggled to say.

Hunson:" Perfect, *reaches back in* ok...um a rubber chicken?"

Deadpool:" *silence*

Hunson:" Need some incentive huh? Oky doky I guess this is how were gonna do it."

Hunson reaches down again towards Deadpools utility belt , but this time he grabs a 12 inch military grade Kabar knife. I makes his way towards the table and waves the knife in front of Deadpool'ls eyes. He then uses his other hand to grab Deadpool's right index finger. Easy enough to do since the restraints were on both his wrists, forearms, and biceps. The tip of the Kabar dug its way under the finger nail , causing Deadool to squirm with fear and pain.

Hunson:" I'll ask again , the rubber chicken, what's the story behind it."

Deadpool:*silence*

Hunson:" Okay, guess you won't be pickin and your nose anytime in the future."

A quick internal rotation with the knife popped open Deadpool`s finger nail like the hood of a car. Blood started to pool to where it looked like crimson red finger nail polish on top. Deadpool finally let out a scream loud enough for everyone in the NIghtosphere to hear.

Deadpool:" AAAAHHHH, UGGGGHH. MY EX PARTNER THROUGH IT AT MY HEAD!," He yelled while still bearing the splintering pain.

Hunson:" See that was easy. So why did he/she/ it throw it at your head...come on...I've got 9 more piggies to work on here. Oh wait, piggies are toes. "

_Marceline's House_

Marceline just broke out of the Candy Kingdom's dungeon with the help of Pinkie pie. They managed to make it back to Marceline's house when they were outside the castle walls and flew home while giving Pinkie Pie a ride. They both knew that time was not on their side, so the only goal at this point was to open a portal to the Nightosphere and save Deadpool, but not before having a little chat.

Marceline:" So how do you know Deadpool?," she said while grabbing the bug juice and chalk.

Pinkie Pie:" Oooh , I love telling this story. Deadpool dropped out of the sky like *whistles falling noise* SPLASH, then he sang to the towns ponies about "tattoos," whatever they are, then he got every pony in Manehatten sick, and through an AWESOME party where there was this drink he made that made everything 20% funnier. Then he cracked every crystal in the Crystal Empire just by singing . The best was when he made it ran on everypony ,,,"

Marceline:" STOP, I get it, what I can't grasp is all this talk about ponies."

Pinkie Pie:" Oh yeah, I'm a pony from Ponyville"

Marceline:" ...but you're like...not a pony now."

Pinkie:" Of course I'm not silly. Deadpool's boss said that my body would change to look like something from this world. I guess the same thing happened to Deadpool when he came to Ponyville."

Marceline:" Whoa, he looked liked a pony when before he came to Ooo?"

Pinkie Pie:" Eeyup!"

Marceline:" HAH, Please tell me you have pictures. I wanna put one up on my wall and fling darts at it."

Pinkie:" Like pin the tail on the pony, I LOVE THAT GAME."

Their banter went on for a few more mintues. Marceline was drawing a face on the wall while pouring the juice on it, thinking about how funny Deadpool would look as a pony. Another thought that popped into her head was her dad, What exactly was he doing to Deadpool? As far as she knew , Hunson wasn't interested in anyone outside of the Nightosphere. He had to have some incentive besides Princess Bubblegum wanting to keep him in control.

She recited the incantation to open the portal, with the juice being absorbed into the wall, and caving in on itself. When the portal manifested , Marceline was about to go in when Pinkie Pie grabbed her shoulder.

Pinkie Pie:" Wait, let me do this."

Marceline:" Huh, why? My dad is the one holding Deadpool hostage. "

Pinkie Pie:" Exactly, he's expecting you to save him. If you let me go by myself, i can find him without him getting suspicious, plus you can stand by the portal and make sure no one's on to us."

Marceline:" That...actually makes sense...you must be the smart one in your group of friends."

Pinkie Pie:" It's a thankless job," She said feeding her ego lying through her teeth.

Pinkie stepped in front of Marceline, armed with two Butcher Knives and rockin a Deadpool suit. She jumped through expecting to see more Candy Themed based kingdoms. Instead she was overlooking what she thought was Tartarus if it had a red paint job. The portal had taken her to the a sort of canyon that was filled with demons waiting in line. You can see red demon heads for miles, but they were like hot sausages crammed in can, except this one had a ferryman riding around on their heads. The ferryman happened to spot Pinkie Pie.

Boat Demon:' Hey, you looking to see Hunson Abadeer?"

Pinkie Pie:" *gasp* you must be psychic cause I was totally gonna ask you that."

Boat Demon:" uh not really, that`s what everyone here is in line for. I can try to make room for you ...*pokes a demons head with his oar* HEY MAKE SOME ROOM , YOU GUYS HAVE A NEW BUTT BUDDY FOR THE LINE"

Line Demon:" NO WAY, I'M ALREADY BUMPING UGLIES WITH 5 OTHER DEMONS."

Boat Demon:" It's a chick, from what i see she doesn't have uglies."

Once the word " chick" spread , a huge spot opened up. Pinkie Pie jumped in thinking this was going to be easy. As soon as she got in line, every demon filled that spot till it was bakc the way it was, leaving Pinkie Pie with absolutely no elbow room.

Pinkie Pie:" AH COME ON!," She Yelled realizing she set herself up for being trapped in the line. She started to get bored immediately, then the Line Demon had to make things worse. He was standing right in front of her, in the tight corridors of the line, so he was enjoying himself with Pinkie Pie breasts pressing up against his back.

Line Demon:" Sooooooo soft."

Pinkie Pie:" *grrrr* "

Then she got an idea that would turn this around in her favor.

Pinkie Pie:" Hey , who wants to sing a song to pass the time. THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END, IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS, SOME PEOPLE, STARTED SINGING NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS, BUT THEY'LL CONTINUIE SINGING FORE EVER BECAUSE THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T...

_BACK AT THE CANDY KINGDOM_

Princess Bubblegum started to wake up after being knocked out by Pinkie Pie. She stood up, a little wobbly at first, but managed to regain her composure. Calling Finn and Jake was the number 1 priorty. So

she got her 3D laptop and called them up. A flash of green light came with Finn's face on it.

Finn:" He PButt , we still haven't found that Red dude yet, umm I'm doing great in case you wanted to know."

Princess Bubblegum:" FINN, WE ARE AT TERROR ALERT LEVEL : BUNK RIGHT NOW. I where Deadpool is"

Finn:" Dead who? Are we talking a pool of the dead here cause i'm totes for it Princess?," he said with extreme enthusiasm.

Princess:" Deadpool is the name of that tight wearing Neanderthal. I need to brief you on everything that's happened so far. "

Jake:" Hey Princess, you look like someone flipped your skirt, what happened."

Finn:" JAKE YOU PERV."

_Back in the Nightosphere_

Hunson was starting to get a little more elaborate with Deadpool. This time he was suspended like a chandler on Hunson's ceiling. Two meat hooks pierced the skin on his upper back through his suit. A bar was welded to the hooks, and at each end was Deapool's wrist, shackled once again with the added bonus of gravity. Blood droplets had been collecting on the floor above Deadpool. Some were drying out while the rest were just falling on top of them.

Hunson:" You know I gotta say, you're better looking without that healing power thingy of yours. You got your hair back, no scars, why would you keep that power if it meant looking like a lawnmower accident victim?"

Deadpool:" *silence*"

Hunson:" Is this gonna be the running theme between us? I ask questions while you stay locked up your brain matter? Whatever."

A green net suddenly appeared right behind a hanging Deadpool. It was big enough to cover half of the room, and looked like it was set up to catch something. Hunson used his magic amulet to change the shape of his suit into a green polo shirt and khaki shorts. His snapped his finger to teleport his golf bag o his side and pulled out a pitching wedge. He then whistled out , calling for one of his minions. A tiny mouse sized demon came through a little hole in Hunson's front door. Hunson grabbed him and gave him a golf ball to hold , setting him down.

Hunson:" Alright little pion, you know the drill?"

Little Demon:" yes sir, be the ball."

Hunson:" no no no. You're the tee this time."

Little Demon:" I'm I still gonna get hit?."

Hunson:" Most likely. My swing is glob awful,"

Hunson starts hitting golf balls one after another. Some hit Deapool in the head, others missed and got caught in the green net, and the worst were the balls that hit him in "the balls." Deadpool kept his eyes closed but he was so tired that his head just went limp. Hunson had kept him awake for a couple of days and the random golf balls hitting him in random places didn't help.

_Nightosphere: The line._

Pinkie Pie:" END, AND IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND , SOME PEOPLE, STARTED SINGING IT NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS…"

Line Demon:" My ears are being RAPED!"

_Candy Kingdom_

Finn and Jake rushed over to the Candy Kingdom. They met with the Princess outside the castle , where she was ready to tell them everything that happened since they've been gone. Lemongrab castle, the Mauraders, Wizard City…everything. The white night mentality in Finn went off.

Finn:" Are serious, he wiped out all of the Lemon People?"

Jake:" And turned Lemongrab into a science fair project?"

Princess Bubblegum:" Yes, and I have reason to believe he's forcing Marceline to work with him. Right now he should send in a platoon on Banana guards to Marceline's House to catch this Mo-fo!"

Finn:" I'll be there with them Princess , you have my word."

Jake grew larger while getting under Finn's legs. Now he trotted off like a horse carrying Finn to Marceline's house. One of The princess's Banana guards walk up to her when Finn and Jake took off.

Princess Bubblegum:" If Marceline is there, hit her with the UV light so she doesn't say a thing."

Banana Guard:" Yes Princess."

_Nightosphere:" The Line_

Pinkie Pie:" AND THEY'LL CONTINUE SINGING FORE EVER BECAUSE THIS IS THE SONG THAT DOESN'T END…."

Line Demon:" JUST LET HER THROUGH!"

Every other demon:" YES!"

Pinkie Pie:" Really? Thank you , I thought you guys might try to attack me all at once. This is better than having to choke a B**** and peeling all your muffin caps back blue. La lala la lala lala."

Every demon somehow managed to step aside and clear a path straight to Hunson's tower. She skipped and sang herself a little song along the way.

_Hunson's Tower_

Hunson:" Dang it, I keep slicing the ball, I BLAME YOU !"

knock knock

Hunson:" What? "

Pinkie Pie:" Housekeeping *in Spanish accent*

Hunson:" Oh thank glob, You better have Lemon Pledge for this blood. I want my bloody floor to reek of lemony goodness. "

Hunson walks over , changing back into his suit, and opens the door to his chambers. A Pink and red flash went through punching Hunson in the face. He falls back and cracks his head. Sadly he didn't have to gather his thoughts, because Pinkie Pie had one of her butcher knives against his throat.

Hunson:" *cough* Ok, I appreciate the gung-ho attitude, but …."

PUNCH

Pinkie Pie:" WHERE IS HE?," She yelled at the top pf her lungs.

Hunson:" Uhh, I'm guessing you were in the line, and you're a little P-owed. I'm Hunson Abadeer and .."

PUNCH

Pinkie Pie:" YOU'RE CALLED B**** NOW, I'M NOT LOOKING FOR YOU B****. WHERE'S DEADPOOL?"

Hunson aka "B****":"Ouch, you hit as hard as my daughter. "

Pinkie Pie:" Is this gonna be the running theme between us? I ask questions while you avoid me? "

He noticed that those were the same lines he gave to Deadpool, then he reminded himself that he has a blade running across his neck like a snake. It just moved slightly to the right, giving a small cut on Huson's neck. Once blood was drawn Pinkie Pie punched him in the same spot she cut. Huson's neck sprayed blood all over the floor, Pinkie Pie, Deadpool's feet. The entire room was saturated with blood, and Hunson was still calm as a Buddhist priest. He just let the blood fly out of his neck without any kind of facial expression.

Huson:" Did you really think it would be that easy?"

Hunson's Amulet started to glow , a black symbiotic like goo started to spread over him. His head split open from the top, only to bare another. It was alabaster why with a mouth filled with fangs and tendrils. Finally he grew 3 times his size and started hovering over a now frightened Pinkie pie. She had dropped her knives to run towards Deadpool. She stopped midway when Hunson's foot stepped on her back. Now she was the one screaming instead of Deadpool. Pinkie pie's face was buried in the blood she drew from Hunson. Her head was to the side, looking right up at Deadpool in his Human form with Hunson still stepping on her. Deadpool without a mask on was something she had seen before, but now she saw his real form. No scars or white eyes and a full head of hair. Most of all she saw his suit. There was a tag on the inseam sticking out of Deadpool's leg. Once she saw who made his suit, it reminded her that she was wearing the same thing. In her eyes, this was her friend, bonded if nothing else y the love of a party and a little chaos. This was her chance to be a good friend to Deadpool as he was to Rarity in her time of need. An idea popped into her head. When she was at Marcline's she happened upon a book marked "The Winchester Gospel volume 1." In it was a few passages for incantations and sigils like Marceline used to open the portal. One in particular looked promising.

Huson was about to land another heavy stomp on Pinkie Pie, but she took her new finger and lifted up as much blood as she could and jumped on the contraption Deadpool was hanging from. Deadpool gritted his teeth as Pinkie Pie's added weight only made the hooks dig deeper in his flesh. Pinkie leaned in and whispered in his ear.

Pinkie Pie:" I'm so sorry I did that Mr Wilson. Don't worry about a thing, I'll get you out of here and you'll heal up in no time."

Deadpool:" *silence*

Dead eyes, that's all Pinkie could see. Deadpool was breathing, his eyes were open, but he wasn't really there. He succumbed to his memories invading his consciousness since he focused on dealing with the pain. Pinkie Pie was speechless…..and pissed. She jumped off and hung from the ceiling, gripping one of the stalagmites. Using her index finger and the blood she picked up, she started tracing something on the window, causing Hunson to summon 6 of his little dark clouds. They all shot green beams of light at Pinkie Pie, who was trying her best to finish what she was tracing in blood. Eventually, she jump grabbing another large stalagmite. She went back to work on whatever she was tracing.

Hunson:" THAT BETTER COME OUT OF MY WALLS YOU DEADPOOL GROUPY!"

Two of the clouds made it up to the ceiling. They both fired at the same time at Pinkie Pie, destroying the stalagmite, sending Pinkie Pie to the blood riddle floor again. She went down with her hands first, thinking they were her hooves so she could brace her fall. Human wrists however aren't that strong. Pinkie had landed right on top of them. A twist and a crack followed. At this point she wailed a tearful cry of pain. Hunson was enjoying the cries of someone who had no hope.

Hunson:" THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART. TEARS OF HELPLESSNESS."

Unbeknown to Hunson, his clouds had vanished. He was slowly losing his powers, shrinking back into his original suit and head. Steam started to rise from him as he questioned what had just happened.

Hunson:" Hey, what the, why am I short again and not speaking in my awesome auto-tune voice."

Pinkie Pie:" Heh, look up…," she said using her boot to point at the symbol she had traced with Hunson's blood. " Demon trap, how do you like them apples…B***H!"

Hunson:" *looks up* Heh, unbelievable, people still know how to do that. Okay, you got me. The ol demon trap symbol. And using my blood to make it extremely potent, nice touch. One problem though, I may be trapped here, but you're trapped in here with me."

Pinkie Pie started to tear up a little again. He was right. Even if she got her knives back, her hands were useless and limp. Hunson inched closer to Pinkie Pie getting his shoes ready for another round of stomping, in his mind though, his new target was gonna be her hands. It wasn't until he was interrupted that Pinkie Pie thought she was dead, but a bullet was fired right at Hunson's feet.

Deadpool:" DON'T MOVE!," he sternly said while still hanging, however he had one arm free with a gun in his hand.

Pinkie Pie:" *gasp* !," She screamed.

Hunson:" I thought you were comatose."

Deadpool:" I was….then I woke up….to this bullshit. Thanks for the gun Pinkie Pie."

Pinkie Pie:" You're welcome partner *sniff*!"

Deadpool:" You done F**KED up now Abadeer, now you're the one who lost his mojo, I have the happy bullet that wants to dry hump your skull, and to top it off Click of gun cocking You made Pinkie Pie cry."

BANG!


	8. Chapter21:Do you believe in corny titles

_Marceline's House_

Guarding wasn't really why Marceline signed up with Deadpool. Yet there she was hovering over here coach with her arms draped over her head in pure lethargic ridden boredom. She couldn't really play any of her music to past the time anyway. The portal was still open and swirling with the power of a vortex with the moves of a toilet plus girls parts. Heh, she's the one coming up with the innuendos. SO far it's doing it's job.

Speaking of doing your job, Finn was riding Jake up until they got near the entrance to Marceline's cave. Jake shrank down to his original form and joined Finn getting behind a humongous onyx boulder. The look they usually give when spying on people always had a smile, or at the least a face you thought looked ninja like yet everyone else thinks you're either taking a piss or having an orgasm. This time they peeked at Marceline's house with bug eyes that just scream…

Finn:" What the glip dribble is going on down there."

Jake stretched his eyes and shaped them into binoculars with the bonus of using his hands to "hold them."

Finn:" Dude, you know eyes don't work like that."

Jake:" hehe, It's how I cope, especially with the poop this mission comes with."

Finn:" I hear that. That's are friend in there. I've seen her do pranks that dwarf my half baked ideas, but ganking the Lemon People with that red dude ."

Jake:" *thinking* a half baked idea being dwarfed, so it's 50 percent then dwarfed or dwarfed then 50 percent baking," he pondered …Hey finn, how do you convert dwarfed in metrics.."

Finn:" Still coping?, " he said while looking in the "Jake Binoculars"

Jake:" Yeah, I know…*looks back at the house* AH MAN! Marcy is having a party and she didn't invite us?"

Finn:" *looks at Marcy's house* HOLY SHMOW! That's a PORTAL Jake, it's the one that goes to the Nightosphere," he said rapidly.

Jake:" I know right, it's not a party without something sucking."

Finn:" JAKE, THAT's SICK!Phrasing bro phrasing!"

Jake:"What Marceline sucks red, everybody knows, teheh, okay. I'm done coping. I bet even money she's trying to escape aaannd may ask her Dad for protection or something . I don't know man I'm spit balling ideas cause I'm freaking out because WHY ARE WE NOT GETTING THE LUMP OVER THERE NOW?." He finally realized that since the portal was open, it can close at Marceline's will. Time was a factor here.

Both of Ooo's intrepid heroes ran as fast as they could, hoping Marceline wouldn't jump in her portal. Finn's shoes kept clapping on the cave floor and thanks the echo, Marceline didn't even need her ultra-sensitive hearing to hear that glob awful sound. She started to panic a bit since she knew he had to off been sent by Princess Bubblegum. Plus she was still wearing her prison orange tank top and pants. All of a sudden the portal started to move erratically. This meant that Pinkie Pie is on her way with Deadpool. Time was not with her this round, but it wasn't against her.

Marceline:" *under her breath* Glob it Finn, not the best time to raid my house. I've gotta think. You can do this," she said wile pacing back and forth. " Okay first, I have to wait for pinkie pie to hurry up*looks at the portal* That was easy, second I need,"

Marceline then looked down at her outfit. This was the first time she actually noticed it. In her pre feral state she gets a bit woozy, which made the outcome look grimmer if Finn and Jake showed up. Then it her.

Marceline:" Wait, who makes prison clothes for a dungeon? Oohhh I get now Princess. I bet dollars to donuts she Low Jacked these threads. What a control freak. *sigh* She let out a sigh when she realized she had to strip again. Without wasting anymore time, she bit her lip and interlocked her thumbs in between the seam of her panties and the prison bottoms. She had to squat down to get them off though. Her hips went back first as she brought her hands down past her pale legs. A fly on the wall would be your dream job at this moment. Her butt stuck out , showing off her red laced underwear with crossbones on the back that might as well been a bull's eye. Bonnie would most likely put the tracer in between the layers of the pants, so she decided to burn her shirt when she clutched the V-neck portion in her fist and then *poof* gone. Yet again she left little to the imagination. Her bra was bold, daring one might say, but two skeleton hands on a black bra. If you were the aforementioned fly, it would look like Jack Skellington creeped behind Marceline and got two scoops of vampire. Luckily, Pinkie Pie could be seen coming towards the Portal opening. Right now she was in her own private hell. She managed to get Deadpool's arm around her shoulder, even with two sprained. The light from the portal shined on the beads of sweat absorbed in both of their suits, but Deadpool's glistened with sanguine shade blood.

It's amazing how Deadpool can meet so many people that shut up when they get emotional. All Marceline saw when she looked in the portal was Pinkie Pie dragging Deadpool like a sack of red potatoes. So many questions went into her head at that moment. Why wasn't he healing? Did Hunson do this? Why was any of this happening? And finally, the third part of the plan. She yelled for her to hurry. Time now shifted sides to favor Marceline , after Finn had tripped over a few stones.

Marceline:" Hurry up, we've got company on their way."

Pinkie Pie:" …..*stare*," Her eyes went over Marceline's figure, for some reason she just had to ask. "What the hay are those?," she pointed directly at Marceline's ample bosom.

Marceline:" Are you F***ING kidding me right now? You want to ask me that right now?"

_Outside the house_

Finn:" JEEZUM CROW DUDE, THAT HURT," The great Finn the Human was giving his right leg a bear hug. This was instinctual, my guess , same thing happened before and he responds thusly.

Jake:" FINN, Are you ok bro, hey hold on. This wouldn't of happened if you just rode on me. Why didn't you say anything. Come on buddy, get on and let's ..,"

Finn:" MY WAY…..FOR THE PRINCESS *warcry*," With no thought to his safety, he just hopped like a demon bunny in heat towards Marceline's house. He caught a glimpse of a few other people in the room, which fueled him even further to find out what was going on.

_Back inside the house_

Marceline:" That's Finn, he likes pointy things as well and he won't think twice about slitting our throats if the Princess told him were terrorists."

Pinkie Pie:" BUUU I WIKE OINTY HINGS OO( translation: I like pointy things too)," Her speech was muffled by Deadpool's Kabar knife she somehow got in her mouth.

Marceline:" Screw this," She rushed towards her Book shelf and grabbed her only copy of "The Winchester Chronicles." She took a deep breath and bit her thumb until blood was drawn. While walking over to the portal she found the page she bookmarked. Pinkie Pie Had finally made it out of the portal, in time for Marceline to step in front of it and waved her blood drenched thumb in the air. Some how her blood looked like it was being smeared on glass, it was actually just floating, almost gave the look of a red crayon. She had finished the drawing she saw in the book, it was another sigil that when finished, glowed a bright yellow. The portal had changed colors as well , from light blue to red. Her last trick of the evening was summoning a lesser horseshoe bat. She gave the bat her pants she had given a paranoid deduction about, and whispered a few instructions.

As soon as the bat left the house through a window, the newly altered portal pulled everyone towards the opening. They all were swept away by the portals strength, sending them towards the sigil. They past through it and it broke like a safety glass window, they too were sucked in. When the pieces of the sigil were absorbed all hell broke loose. All of Marceline's possessions went through it as well. Her furniture , TV, Instruments , etc. Then the strangest thing happened. The house was being sucked in quite easily. The laws of physics had no say in this place. Marceline's house was being pulled in over the portal but it looked more like drain pulling everything towards it. In a flash the house caved in on itself and was absorbed through the portal. Now someone needed to tell Finn who was so loopy from the blood loss, he just kept hopping on one knee regardless. Hopping where the patio was, now where the living room was, and going past her basketball court. He went deeper in the cave being fueled by adrenaline and endorphins numbing his pain.

Jake:" FINN! ," he grew and ran towards him." Did you see that? Marceline's house was eaten along with her thanks to that red hole thingy. Hehe Irony. Get back here. Are your trying to attract every vampire in Ooo?,"Jake couldn't help noticed Finn's blood was leading a trail right to him. Hopefully Jake can keep up before the proverbial "breadcrumbs" Finn was leaving ran out.

Finn:" MY WAAAAAaaaaayyyy," His voiced faded as he ran further in the cave, blinded by anger and directed by rage.

_?_

A young man sat quietly on his patio, taking in the moon light that reflected off of every surface in of his mountain side cave. The moon light cascaded over what appeared to be a red and black plaid shirt, complete with tight , but torn jeans. He had black hair that looked good in the moonlight, but he losses points for leaving as if he just woke up with bed head after a night of wild sex. A red guitar nestled in between his arms, connected to an outlet that fed to an AMP. He inhaled deeply, closing his jet black eyes, his hard chest rising. When he exhaled, he gave a smile that came complete with 4 elongated canines. I guess you could say he was "Rock Star" sexy. The "bad boy" you see in ever story. The one who have women swooning over him with a wink, but pines for the girl who doesn't succumb easily by his charms.

?: Ahh, Finally some jam time. I hope Prince "Gum-wad" can hear it through my little amp, especially since it's getting boost from the caves ECHO! ECHO ECHO ECHO echo," His echo traveled outside the cave. "HA HAAAH, LET's ROCK !"

Guitar strumming

?: _**GOOD LITTLE GIRL…..," **_

CRASH

Before he could get out the lines for the first verse, pieces of what look like a house fell as quickly as it appeared no more than a few feet from the patio. When it hit the cave floor it let out a cloud of dust and dirt. Near the center , a few boards from the house were moving. Marceline popped out from the rubble. Once she got her bearings, she looked over at the boy who had moved to the edge of the patio to see what happened.

Marceline:" HEY YOU!," A faint nervous chuckle could be heard after she greeted the boy.

?:" Huh, Ma- MARCELINE!?"

Marceline:" Long time no see , Marshal Lee," Okay, now she was getting desperate to alleviate the verbal bashing she was about to get.

Marshal Lee:" Long time no see," repeating what Marceline had said with a slight tone of condensation." That's all you have to say after dropping a busted up house in my cave. What if you bunked up the sigil? I would've been singing through lead pipes through a house that just so happened to land on me."

Marceline:" And look," She points to the wreckage she once called home." See, it didn't fall on you."

Pinkie Pie:" WOOO HOOO, LET'S DO IT AGAIN!," She yelled jumping out of the rubble.

Marshall Lee:" And you brought more people? Fan-flippin-tastic," He ran his fingers through his hair in a stressful manner.

Marceline:" When did you became such a nancy-boy ?," She had her hands balled up into fists as she marched towards Marshal Lee. She was still in her bra and panties, luckily she kept her sneakers on. Marceline jumped over Marshall Lee and on the patio. While she was in Mid Air she gave her Gibbs slap to the back of Marshall Lee's Head.

WHACK

Marshall Lee:" Ouch, you dinged my cheek meat."

Marceline:" Look, we just need a place to lay low for a few days, my friend has been injured , but he heals like we do."

Marshall Lee: " Oh good, so what do you need me for?"

Marceline:" That's the problem, he hasn't healed from his injuries yet. I will be forced to Kick your $$ ," she states slamming her right fist in her left palm," if you don't help out an old friend and her posse."

Marshall Lee:" *sigh* Fine, where is he."

Before Marceline could tell him, he teleported right where Pinkie pie was standing.

Pinkie Pie:" AHHHH, VAMPIRE!." She shrieked.

Marshall Lee:" Hey there darliin," Marshall Lee doesn't waste any time," you got a nice wiggle."

Pinkie Pie:" Thanks, you've got a nice butt."

Marshall Lee:" I like a women who gets right to the..,"

CRACK

Pinkie Pie performed a flawless jump round house kick that landed on Marshall Lee's face. The momentum from her kick sent Marshall Lee spinning landing face first in the rubble with his "nice butt" in the air. Pinkie Pie finished making her point by putting her boot right on the his $$.

Pinkie Pie:" Eeyup, I knew it. My Size 11 totally fits your butt. It's as if fate brought me here to kick your $$!"

Marshall Lee:" *cough* Swing at every ball huh dog," He said regretting the purchase of a certain book," Fine alright, where is the guy?," He saw a man in the same outfit as Pinkie Pie in a pool of his own blood and sweat. The man was covered in electric burn marks on his skin that was exposed. Marshall took a guess and walked over to him. He grabbed Deadpool's shoulder and gave him a gentle shake.

Marshall Lee:" Hey buddy, can you here me?," He asked before he placed two of his finger on Deadpool's neck. He pressed hard to try and feel a pulse on Deadpool's carotid artery. " Ah butt traps, his pulse is almost at zombie level. Unless you want to share the same heart rhythm of our friend here, help me get inside so I can at least stick up his wounds. Uhh, *snaps finger* Pinkie Pie right, I need you start a fire,"

Pinkie Pie:" I'm likeing this plan so far."

Marshall:" I'm sure you do, but that's for the metal poker you're going to put in the fire so I can stop your bosom buddy from bleeding all over my cave."

Marceline joined her old friend and helped Deadpool get up. He was still unconscious, so they both grabbed an arm and floated over to Marshall Lee's House. Pinkie Pie followed, folding her arms defensively as she uttered….

Pinkie Pie :" I am no man's bosom.*chuckle* NAILED IT."

Marceline:" PINKIE PIE!"

Pinkie Pie:" Whoops, coming. "

_Inside Marshall Lee's House_

Once they were all inside, Marshall Lee covered his flat, rock hard, couch with a few garbage bags. The two vampires carried Deadpool as if it was nothing and laid him down. Everyone had their question of "what happened to Deadpool" answered when they took off his suit and saw what Hunson had done to him. They had to work fast

.What seemed like forever was only two hours in real time. Marshall Lee managed to cauterize all of Deadpool's wounds so the bleeding stopped. The burns on his body that hemorrhaged was not a fully burnt scab thanks to Pinkie Pie's red hot pokers. The same had to be done at the tips of his fingers , which were absent of nails. The rest of the marks were just bruises.

Marceline and Pinkie Pie had to watch their friend be burned yet again , but to save his life without his healing factor, desperate times I guess. This was the first time for Marceline to see Deadpool without the scars , exposed tissue , and a full head of hair. When Deadpool confronted her about the price you pay for progress, he had taken off his mask to show her what people are capable of if you let them. Marceline sat in a chair reversed , so she could rest her arms on the back along with her head. The entire time she sat and watched Marshall Lee performing back alley surgey on Deadpool, she had thought of that moment at Lemongrab Castle. Is this what he looked like before he became a mercenary? The scars, white eyes, bald head, and regenerating cancer cells. Were these all the price he has to pay for freedom?

Pinkie Pie sat next to Marceline on the floor, holding ice packs on her wrists. She couldn't help but look at Marceline's face. Her eyes looked like they were bleeding. Trails of blood started to let gravity move it from Marceline's eyes and end at her chin.

Pinkie Pie:" Are you ok," She asked hesitantly

Marceline:" *sniff* This is how I bleed when I'm emotional, " Then she started to laugh a bit with what she thought after explaining vampire tears. " It sure as S*** better when than doing it the way living females do every month, glad I dodged that silver bullet."

Pinkie Pie:" Tee hee, You should say that to Mr. Wilson when he wakes up."

Marceline:" Pinkie Pie, my dad prides himself on being able to torture any wad or dingus that ticks him off. He doesn't kill them, but I'd be lying if I said they didn't die afterwards."

Pinkie Pie:" Puh-lease. In Equestria Mr. Wilson survived after being burnt by dragon fire. He's a tough Mo-fo with a wit as sharp as his blades. "

Marceline:" You're forgetting one thing. He had his healing powers then right?"

Pinkie Pie:" oh….good point," Her head tilted downward as if she gave up. " I still don't believe. He has more than guns, pointy things, explosives, and awesome ninja skills."

Marceline:" Like what?," She asked unenthusiastically.

Pinkie Pie stood up and dropped her bags of ice. On the floor. It was a good thing her hands were numb from the old. Because one of the just gave Marceline a dose of her own medicine.

Whack

Marceline:" Did you just do, what I think you did , to me of all people?" She asked while turning her head towards Pinkie Pie, but not before….

Whack

Pinkie Pie:" Twice actually. In case you forgot, Deadpool has us, his friends."

Marshall Lee:"Just you guys. I'm just the dude trying to save his toasted butt."

Pinkie Pie:" I'M TRYING TO MAKING A POINT YOU "**ONE DIRECTION**" LOOKING FANBOY! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WON'T CUT YOU…anyway friendship is really really really powerful magic, and right now I'm sending nothing but good vibes to Deadpool."

Marceline:" Heh, I like what you're saying. But honestly *chuckle* That's the most corny thing I've ever heard. And F.W.I. We have a Colonel made of candy corn on Ooo. "

Pinkie Pie:" Keep talking like a negative Nancy and I'll have to add a couple of smiles to that neck of yours with Marshall Lee's makeshift scalpel."

Marceline:" heh, save the bedroom talk for later."

Pinkie Pie:" That's foreplay to me motha F***a!"

Marshall Lee:" F.W.I. I'm done," He stated while licking Deadpool's blood off of his hands. " His pulse is stable, but it'll be a while before he wakes up."

Pinkie Pie:" THANK YOU SO MUCH MR. LEE," She gave thanks as she gave Marshall Lee the biggest hug he ever received. He returned the hug when Marceline got up from her chair. The vampires just looked at each other, turning their bitter frowns into wide smiles. In the end they just gave each other a fist bump.

Marshall Lee:" Okay that's enough emotions for one day," He let go of Pinkie Pie while heading to the fridge. He opened it and grabbed a basket of raspberries, offering one to Marceline and Pinkie Pie. The vampires started making loud sucking noises while enjoying their fruit. But it wasn't compared to Pinkie Pie's lip smacking and shewing sounds. Pinkie Pie ate her berries face first without using her hands. It's not that she couldn't, it's just that she was still getting used to her human form, despite her "innate" ability to fight and use weapons.

Marshall Lee:" Ok, rules of the house…*sucking sounds*….

Marceline:" And…"

Marshall Lee:" No rules," he stated still sucking on his basket of raspberries."

Pinkie Pie:" OH YEAH!"

Marceline:" Is that a fact, you realize you could be harboring fugitives."

Marshall Lee:" Heh, possibly, but you know me. I'm her to help, not to judge. Plus seeing you guys care so much about a dude that looks like he's been through some s***, made me feel….nice I guess."

Marceline:" Marshall Lee , congratulations on growing a vagina." Pinkie pie fell back laughing

Marshall Lee:" I'm sorry what was that, guess your voiced dropped along with your new balls?" he asked putting his hand to his ear in a playful sense.

They all needed that. A good laugh can help mend emotional wounds. Pinkie Pie can attest to that. Afterwards , everyone took turns taking a shower. When they were done Marshall Lee gave Marceline some sweat pants and a plaid shirt to cover herself up.

Marceline:" It's always plaid and denim with you isn't it?"

Marshall Lee:"It's the fabric of the people, don't be hattin on my threads."

Deadpool:" I thought cotton was the people's fabric. I've got on 100% cotton boxers. It's like sick guy that just ate curry is breathing on my crotch 24/6, don't as what I wear on the 7th day*cough*"

Pinkie Pie:" MR. WILSON!" Pinkie Pie rushed over and gave Deadpool a hug , only using about half the power of her last one. Deadpool managed tried to get up, but winced at the pain while gritting his teeth.

Marshall Lee:" Tch, she really likes to hug, " he said pulling Pinkie Pie away." How ya doing buddy?" Marshall brought his index finger up and in front of Deadpool's head. Deadpool's vision is a little blurry, at that moment he thought his mind was playing tricks on him.

Deadpool:"Marceline? Oh no, it's my reoccurring nightmare, the main character of my fantasy changes into a dude during the good part."

Marshall Lee;" Just following my finger with your eyes, I'm just trying to gauge where your head is at right now." He motioned his hand left and right. Deadpool was able to follow without any problems from his eyes.

Deadpool:" Good, cause I'm not pulling on it. For all I know you're vegan with a love of beans and broccoli. Do the air a favor and stop eating those at the same time."

Marshall Lee:" *chuckle* heh, I see why you keep em around," He saw the girls joining in on the laughter. " By the by , my names Marshall Lee the Vampire king. Just guessing, but you're Deadpool right?"

Deadpool:" Yup," He responded in a haphazardly tone of voice. He turned around to see Marceline and Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie gave a little wave ad smile while Marceline just flipped him off. " I drifted in and out of la la land back there. Did this guy just show up or did something else happen?"

Marceline:" Pinkie Pie got you out of the Nightophere, and away from my father."

Deadpool:" Oh yeah, how could I forget," His tone gave a certain "no S**T Sherlock" vibe to it. " Real charmer, your dad. Does he do this with all the guys in your life or just the cute ones."

Marceline:" Hey don't get an attitude with me after we saved your butt. They captured me too in case you forgot."

Deadpool:" actually I kind of did," He was getting irritable. " Thank your dad for that one. Being a guinea pig on your dads table brought back old memories that I've been trying to push back . Taking way my healing factor is like flipping my reset button on my body. My brain, well, it's a party in there and all the people I've pissed off in my life get a V.I.P pass ," He swallowed nervously, knowing that he's about get a mental visit from the demons of his past. His endorphins were wearing off quickly. He needed to act fast.

Marceline:" What do you want me to say? I cut myself off from my dad a while ago. Just so you know, The Princess you met when we started this, she's the one who convinced my dad to put both our $$'s in a cell."

Pinkie Pie:" Actually I rescued you from a cell. Mr. Wilson ended up,"

Marceliine:" *under her breath* Pinkie Pie, you're not HELPING."

Deadpool:" STOP! I just want to say this before I start to go into b***h mode. You're right, and I don't blame you. Thank you everyone for saving my bacon back there, but right now I need to ask, Marshall, you got any hooch in this joint."

Marshall Lee:'' uh yeah," He pointed towards the kitchen." Second cabinet to the right of the fridge. Help yourself dude. I was making a bet with myself on when you'd be asking for that. You must be going through hell right now."

Deadpool got up from the coach , clothed in his cotton boxers, and walked with a firm posture towards where the hooch was located. He opened it up to see a couple of glass bottles. He just picked one at random, it didn't matter what he drank as long as it ended up in his stomach.

Deadpool:" You have no idea Marshall." He walked back heading to the patio doors.

Pinkie Pie:" Umm Marceline said you like to sleep outside in a blanket fort so I made you one outside."

Deadpool:" Thank you," He opened the patio door and headed out, stopping just short of the entrance. " Guys the next ….I don't know 6 , 8 10 hours are going to be a little rough on me. Just let me get through this by myself, cause in about a couple of minutes I'm gonna be dealing with some dark S***."

Pinkie Pie:" Dark S***, is that a new villain in the story , BRING EM ON!"

Deadpool:" Nope, it's just a something I need to do."

Marshall Lee:" Look bro, I'm a big fan of the whole tough guy lone wolf thing, but I think you need to mellow out and let us help you. Tell you what, just because I'm a nice guy I'll let you drink my blood. You'll be back to your old self again in no time."

Deadpool:" Nope, this I gotta do myself."

Marceline:" Quit being such a stubborn donk and let us help you."

Deadpool:" JUST ….STAY ..AWAY FROM ME, IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?," That ended with him slamming the door and heading towards the fort Pinkie Pie had made.

Marceline:" Okay, what crawled up his butt?," She said getting frustrated.

Marshall Lee:" I don't know, but I'm guessing it didn't die."

Marceline:" What do you think Pinkie Pie? Pinkie? ," She walked towards her in a concerned manner. " Don't listen him. It's just the pain talking. Let's just give him an hour and I'll bet he'll be back here on his knees begging for forgiveness."

Marshall Lee:" Or on his knees in front of the toilet bowl. I just saw our humanoid pin cushion pound a fourth of that Vodka like a glass of water."

_Deadpool's Thoughts_

Location: Weapon X Department K laboratory, Clone Research and Development Wing

Omega Red:" *thick Russian accent* Wilson, stop poking the glass. The clones are not your play fish."

Deadpool:" How can I not? There're like floating dead baby fetuses," He pointed his gun at the some of the "test tube" babies. " What'ya say we just shoot em down. Especially this one, number 23. How about I make a video of me shooting the glass and test out my theory on bouncing Babies?"

Location: Genosha Island

*Shh, be very very quite, were hunting mutates*

( That just screams "hypocrite")

Deadpool:" So what, Mr. Sinister kills my bounty and runs off with the D-list mutants Scott free," Deadpool chats up his other personalities while sneeking into Mr. Sinister lair. So far he's killed all the guards, so all that's left is the big man himself, who just so happens to be chillin on his throne. Deadpool tip toes write behind Mr. S's throne and takes out one of his katanas

*Wait, his throne is huge, so's his outfit. I know were supposed to do this all secretly and junk, but I can't tell where his head is. Where are we gonna stick this*

(In the back of his throne)

Deadpool:" Dude, phrasing."

Mr. Sinister:" What, who's there?" He asked openly while still sitting on his thone.

Deadpool:" FOUND IT," Letting sinister speak was actually a brilliant idea. Deadpool shoved his katana through the back of the throne, where it ended up going through Mr. Sinisters Neck.

*Heh, I thought he'd be taller*

( He's sitting you idiot)

*Okay then, I though he'd …have a …Shut up*

Deadpool:" Hey Mr. S. How's it hanging," Deadpool had to see where his katana ended up. He snaped his fingers in protest. He made a bet with himself that it would go through his skull. Mr. Sinisters was trying to get the words he wanted to speak out his mouth, but a katana through his vocal chords ain't helping. Blood was spurting the front end of his neck wound where the katana was still stick out, It wasn't enough for concern since he didn't knick a the carotid artery or jugular.

*Heh, He's speechless*

Deadpool:" What that Mr. S. Katana got your tongue?," Deadpool sat on Mr Sinisters lap, basking in his glory.

Mr. Sinister:" *gurgle* *gurgle*"

*He better not damage the blade*

( I know right, it's a collector's item)

*What, then why did we bring it*

( That's like buying a signed copy of Stephen Kings "Needful Things," and not burning it)

*oh I see…wait what?*

Deadpool:" What's that?," He asked sarcastically," Why did I do this? Funny story, actually. I racked up a huge bill with my bosom buddy arm dealer, so I take a job to pay my debt, you killed the guy I was supposed to bring in, now I'm stuck owing the biggest Otaku in America a fat wad of cash, then I met someone who hates you about as much me right now and is paying me big bucks to take you out. Nothing personal, but let's cherish the moment with a selfie."

Deadpool grabs his other katana, swings it downward since Mr Sinister would rather bend over in pain then take it like a man, and the rest of the neck meets the rest of the katana. Mr Sinisters head rolls to the side of the throne. Deadpool whipped out his phone and put the disembodied head on his shoulder. He extends his arm out to take of photo.

Deadpool:" hehe, from here your throat looks like you just pulled out your D**K."

Location: "Jump The Shark" Television studio

Chance White:" That's 9 inches of reinforced steal, good luck trying to get me ya nut bar."

*Heh, noticed how he was ready to just blurt out 9 inches?*

( Worst pick up line ever)

Deadpool:" Uh yeah I've noticed, you know I'm leaving without your fat $$ ," He was almost poetic, Deadpool talking to a wall. " Unless you expect to eat your own blubber in there, you're not gonna last long."

Chance White:" Don't insult my intelligence Deadpool. This also doubles as a panic room that has a restraint sized refrigerator stock with food."

Deadpool:" That's it, I bet you consider that a serving size you beached whale. Open the door , get your big butt out here, and maybe I'll only partially un-alive you."

Chance White:" Fat chance."

Deadpool:" Dude , you're making the jokes to easy. Where's the challenge?"

*How about getting trying to unlock this monstrosity you call a door?*

Deadpool:" What? Oh I could've done that a few pages ago."

( So what's the hold up?)

Deadpool:" uh, the math on how much C4 to use on this particular sized door is not agreeing with me."

*You don't know how to do metric conversion*

( I think we were on drugs when they taught that at school)

Deadpool:" No, we did drugs so we could learn the metric system. HEY CHANCE, HOW DO YOU CONVERT…"

Chance White:" Blow it out your $$ Deadpool.!"

*Swing and a miss*

Deadpool:" A F*** it , let's just use all of it," He placed charged C4 bricks on the vault door to the point where it looked more C4 than and actual door."

*Aren't we supposed to take him in alive*

Deadpool:" Yeah, but "alive" is such a vague and loosely translated term."

( Actually , it's really not)

Deadpool:" Whatever *click*

Boom

_Inside Marshall Lee's House_

Pinkie Pie:That's it , I've had it," Pinkie pie marched with haste outside towards Deadpool's Blanket fort.

Marceline:" Huh, HEY PINKIE WAIT UP." Marceline flew right behind Pinkie Pie as she approached Deadpool's fort.

While heading to Deadpool's sleeping grounds , they could hear Deadpool screaming bloody murder.

Deadpool:" AAAAAHHHH GET OUT OF MY FU***NG HEAD !," Deadpool tried his best to knock himself out to sleep with the booze. When that didn't work, he found a small bottle of mouth wash and drank that down in one gulp. It worked on getting him to sleep, but it really doesn't help the Nightmares.

Pinkie Pie:" MR. WILSON!," Pinkie Pie tried to get Deadpool's attention. No response. So drastic measures had to be taken. " Fine, see how ya like THIS!"

Pinkie Pie reached behind her to pull out what looked like …

Marceline:" A grenade, really. Where did you even find it?"

Pinkie Pie:" Marshall's butt," She was kidding, but now wasn't the time to restore his good name. She pulled the pin and dropped it in Deadpool's fort.

Marceline:" Wait, what if he's asleep and just having a nightmare?"

Pinkie Pie:" Oh….I didn't think it that far, whoopsie ," She said with a derpy look on her face.

Marceline:" GRRRR, DA** IT !," Marceline dove in to try and find the grenade. The pile of multicolored blankets didn't help at all. Luckily she could smell the gunpowder. She followed her nose and spotted it just in time to grab it and throw it straight up.

BOOM

Deadpool:" AHHHHH, wha , wha. Am I awake?" He started to panic and grabbed Marceline by the shoulders. " AM I AWAK?!"

Whack

Whack

Both girls gave Deadpool a gibbs slap simultaneously.

Pinkie Pie:" NO TALKING JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN." Pinkie Pie sat down on what was left of Deadpool's blanket fort." I don't know what you're going through in that melon you call a head, but obviously it's too much for you to handle on your own:"

Deadpool:" You don't know jack S***." If her hands weren't sore as hell she would've used em, so her feet would have to do. She stood up, and gave Deadpool a kick in his jimmy.

CRUNCH

Deadpool:" A-," The silent scream when you've been kicked in the "step children," priceless.

Pinkie Pie:" Why do you keep torturing yourself."

Deadpool:" *cough* Long story short, my healing factor helped keep my past locked up, the cancer killed my brain cells, but brought them right back, so every now and then they leak out. Normally I could care less , so when they pop up it's more annoying and troublesome. Now that it's gone….they keep coming back one after another, I can't think of anything else until I find a way to reboot my healing factor. Yes this has happened before, but science brought it back, but this time is different. I don't know a GLOB D**N THING ABOUT MAGIC OR HOW YOUR DAD MANAGED TO PULL A F***ING NAGATING SPELL OUT HIS PASTY WHITE PILGRIM $$." That rant left Deadpool exhausted. He waited for his verbal and physically bashing to end so he could get back to feeling like a monster.

Pinkie Pie:" You don't know a thing about magic do you?"

Deadpool:" *sigh* "Eeyup, that's why I said it."

Pinkie Pie:" I guess that means you don't know a lot about friendship either?"

Deadpool:" What is with you and this whole "Friendship is Magic" tag line?" His hand moved towards his forehead. A slow but obvious face palm, he was getting extremely annoyed. " I've never had, nor will I ever need somebody who doesn't know what's going inside my own head."

Pinkie Pie:" So what do you call those personalities you made?"

Deadpool:" Huh, I thought you were joking back in Equestria, you can actually hear them."

Pinkie Pie:" Eeyup, and they've been gone since you lost your healing powers right."

Deadpool:" …yeah," It was just starting to sink in how much Deadpool enjoyed having his two annoying partners in slapstick comedy crime.

Pinkie Pie:" Wouldn't you consider them your friends? Don't you have any other people you hang out with besides them?"

Deadpool:" Umm, I'm not sure. I hang out with my arms dealer a lot, but I don't know if he's a friend or not."

Marceliine:" HAH, only Deadpool can make friends with a dude that sells weapons." She decided to join in on the conversation.

Deadpool:" He does have a life outside making things that go boom. He's practically a Pimp at Comic con."

Pinkie Pie:" Oooh what's that?"

Deadpool:" It's a gathering of comic geeks. I doubt people go there to hook up. 20 bucks says the girls make guys roll a 20 sided dice to see where they're allowed to touch a women at the Comic con"spot light dance."

Pinkie Pie and Marceline, even though this was a sensitive moement, they took the time to have a good laugh from Deadpool's joke.

Pinkie Pie:" HAHAH, has he ever invited you?" she asked wiping the tears from her eyes through her mask.

Deadpool:" How did you know? He keeps nagging me about other conventions to, I just tell him I'm allergic to geek stank. It's like soap is kryptonite to a keep."

Pinkie Pie:" You should've gone, obviously he like having you around. I bet he goes through a lot of crap at those convention thingies , did ya ever think he'd enjoy it more with you?"

Marceline:" I don't know, they might think you're a living comic book character. All the little dweeb-ettes would be on you like, well, stank on a geek."

Deadpool:" Never gave it much thought, nope, neither does Daniel Way," This time he wanted to test a theory."

Marceline:" Who's that?" she asked as if she never heard another humans name before.

Pinkie Pie:" I know who he is," She leaned her head towards Deadpool's ear to whisper what she knew. Deadpool's eyes widened.

Deadpool:" I KNEW IT!"

Pinkie Pie:" Is that a smile I see."

Deadpool:" Wait what? No that's just pot lip." Worst lie he's ever told.

Marceline:" Let me ask you something. Did you any of those flashbacks popped up since we've been talking to you."

Deadpool:" Actually….Heh, no. "

Marceline:" Isn't that what you taught me after Lemongrab castle? Your pink double and I have been dishing out puns, quips, and conversation. Yeah you lost your healing power which made your personalities take a bow of your brain stage. It's sucks and is a total bummer, but from what I can see, you have two sexy, funny, bad ass women that have stuck to your side, despite your bullS***. How about this, until we get your healing powers back, you can use us as your personalities?"

Pinkie Pie:" *GASP* I was thinking the exact same thing!"

Deadpool:" You're serious, you're willing to put up with my neurosis until we I get my healing factor back, even though that could take forever?"

Pinkie Pie:" Putting up with it? I think it's fun."

Marceline:" Honestly you've got me hooked. So I guess it's a win win."

Deadpool:" ….Ok, but this is on a trial basis because…"

Pinkie Pie:" WOOOO HOOOO, DEADPOOL WANTS TO BE FRIENDS, " Pinkie Pie was all over the patio. Jumping up and down, doing little dances. She was so thrilled.

Deadpool:' WHOA HOLD ON, I NEVER SAID…. IF YOU WOULD JUST…..AHHH," He gave up trying to get Pinkie Pie's attention. She was in her own little world.

Marceline:" Let her have this one. Who knows, you might actually like having friends." She stood up and walked over to a hopping Pinkie Pie. She waited until Pinkie started to descend from her last jump. Timing it just right, she extended her arm out and got Pinkie by the throat." That's enough celebrating, simmer down before I start to act like you." When she finished talking she let Pinkie Pie go.

Pinkie Pie:" Aw man I as just getting started too. "

Marceline:" Alright, Marshall gave us permission to use his bed so get yourself together , shower, blah blah blah . I'll give both of you some of my blood so you'll heal overnight. I don't want to wake up with a couple of nagging corpses. "

Deadpool:" SAY WHAT NOW? This is all new to me, and I'm in a very vulnerable state so…." Like a British nanny combined with an over bearing mother, Marceline got in Deadpool's face with a evil twinkle in her eyes.

Marceline:" No, I'll tell you what's gonna happen. You are going to march yourself in that bathroom, take a piss, shake , not dab, your D*** , take a shower, and brush your teeth. After that you head straight to the bedroom where we'll be waiting for you. UNDERSTOOD!"

Deadpool:" *nod*.

Pinkie Pie:" AND YOU'RE GONNA TAKE OFF YOUR BOXERS SO I CAN SEE YOU'RE CUTIE MARK!" She demanded.

Deadpool:" WHAT? Who …umm… who told you I ended up with one of those frikin things?"

Marceline:" What's a cutie mark?"

Deadpool:" Don't listen to her! Lies, A PACK OF LIES! You can't trust anything she says, she's all hopped up on sugar and F***ING smiles. "

It was to late, Pinkie Pie was walking back to Marshell's house giving Marceline a lesson on Cutie Marks. They were about to enter the house when Deadpool hear Marceline shout…

Marceline:" HAHAHAHA, You , HAHH, you mean he's got one because…"

Deadpool:" CURSE YOU PRINCESS CELESTIA. CURSE YOU , YOUR BIG MOUTH , AND YOUR HUGE …."


	9. Chapter 22: Recovery Time

_Outside Marceline's Cave _

Princess Bubblegum:" Sooo, basically she escaped," she said looking down on Finn and Jake.

Jake:" Basic, heh if only. I'm still trying to make sense of it."

Princess Bubblegum:" Let me guess, Deadpool was with here?"

Jake:" Well….yeah. Wait, Okay I got it now."

Finn:" I'm still zonked. I thought I saw him come out of portable itself, but if Marcy made it. Hmmm. HOLY MATH I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE."

Jake:" That's my bro, " giving Finn a fist bump. "The kid can go from zonked to genius suring a crisis."

Finn:" Thanks dude," said Finn returning the bump.

Princess Bubblegum:" Couldn't your "genius" have solved this in the first place after he crashed my shingig?," she asked bluntly with a hint of sarcasm and a dash of quotation figers.

Finn:" Haha, That was a snooze fest with a happy ending, I actually enjoyed it."

Jake:" In a nutshell, the poop has to hit the fan before he transforms into detective form."

Finn:" You should see my final form,"

Jake:" NAILED IT!"

Princess Bubblegum:"Ok…., " she said clearing her throat." So where are they?"

Finn:" Before I fainted, I saw that it looked like the one to the NIghtosphere. Chances are that's the only one she knows how to summon."

Jake:" Then you got poo brain and hopped your way across half the cave."

Finn:" MEN DON'T FAINT, WE BLACK OUT AND THAT'S FOR REALZY SON," his cheeks were slightly red.

Jake:" Yeah, but what's been eating my mind brain, is that I thought I saw a red portal. The other was blue right."

Princess Bubblegum:" Trust me boys. Both of them are not in the Nightospere?"

Finn:" Hmm," putting his hand on his chin to "look" like his thinking hard." How do you figure that Peebs?"

Princess Bubblegum:" I uhh….well….uh….,' She said trying to mask her part in this.

Jake:" Good point, you are on fire bro."

Princess Bubblegum:" Umm," Lying on the spot like that, is the same as a comedian being asked to prep a show in 10 minutes , and the comedian didn't know. " Well , it's because I'm Smart Finn," her tone made it seem like it was a "no dud" answer." Do I get all up in your bizz when I when you go adventuring?"

Jake:" Nope," He asnswered very bluntly." Hehe, try using your "science" when you're staring down the Pie Hole of a dragon."

Finn:" Hehe," He chuckled a bit , but was silence when the Princess was starting to get annoyed," Sorry peebs, I guess I was just thinking out loud.

Princess Bubblegum:" *sigh* Good, " She sighed in relief, and offered her hands for Finn and Jake to hold." Listen , I count on you boys for so much, Finn you have a special gift for being a true hero. Jake well…you stretch like a boss."

Jake:" I do don't I?"

Finn:" For realizes bro," Finn and Jake held their grip tighter on the princesses hands, reassuring her they were here to serve the people of Ooo from anyone." Don't worry Princess. We'll find Deadpool our way and we won't butt into yours."

Princess Bubble Gum:" Thank you Finn," She didn't grip tighter in response," But I need to know that you'll do what is expected of you when your back is against the wall, and you have to make a choice. If you manage to find Deadpool before I do, " She grabbed Finn's head and looked right at his innocent eyes," Kill him, the same goes for Marceline if she's too far gone from Deadpool's influence."

Jake:" *gasp*," Jakes mouth widened in shock," No way, not gonna happen sister, Me and Finn won't stoop to death's level of crazy. Right buddy."

Finn:" Okay," Princess Bubblegum bowed her head to give Finn a kiss on the forehead to shoe her gratitude for his loyalty. She walked away to re-assign her banana guards to a new location. Jake just stood there looking at Finn like he was a completely different person. Finn however, was tilting his head back and for, trying to signal Jake to meet him in the direction his head was going.

Finn:" psst….jake." he whispered," pstt…..jake…over there…," He tilted his head towards a nearby boulder.

Jake:" Dude she left," Jake's hands went up in the air,"what are you trying to say? I doubt she'll hear us.

Finn:"Fine, do you ever get the feeling that something going on besides Deadpool? I mean are picking up what Peebs is throwing down?"

Jake:" No way! Marcy will mess with ya, but not in a bad way. I think PB is going a little overboard about this."

Finn:" Did you noticed how she froze up when I asked her about the Nightosphere?"

Jake:"That was kind suspicious , but she does have a point, we really don't know what's going on."

Finn:" I know, and since she apparently knows "everything," He said with quotation fingers." She gets to run the show, but it also means she froze up because we either caught her in a bogus lie, or she spilled the beans by accident."

Jake:" Oh yeah. Totes bro. Plus she was all like, tensing up as if she needed to poop."

Finn:" Will poop based puns be tonight's theme," He asked rhetorically face palming his head.

Jake:" I can't help it dude. Cracking jokes helps me unwind. This whole Marcy slash Deadpool , killing a bunch of innocent Lemon people….It's a bummer. "

Finn:" I know man, but hey," he said patting Jake on the back, " at least we know she's okay."

Jake:" That's fo shizzle. So what do we do now?"

Finn:" I say we start our own investigation. One that doesn't end in Marcy getting charged with treason. Deadpool, I don't know what that dude is up to, but I know Marceline is our friend and I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. "

Jake:" You know just what to say to get me all fired up, but where do we even start? The Princess is all gun-ho about finding Deadpool so I doubt she'd help us."

Finn:" That's the plan, we don't tell her a thing. If the Princess is involved, I don't want to her to know that we know about what she knows because of what we might know when we ask people what they know." Jake just stared at Finn with a blank push button face.

Jake:" Don't give me any of that psychology bunk, tell me straight up."

Finn:" Let's talk to whoever saw them last, The Marauders . They party hard so DP and Marcy must of partied with them. I bet they can give us some info about what's going down."

Jake:" Sounds good," Jake grew larger when he heard the plan," should I bring something? I don't want to be rude to Marauders?"

Finn:" Jake," He paused and looked at Jake with a stern face," Not being rude to Marauders…is rude to Marauders."

Finn:" So I can fart then?"

Finn:" We'll save that when we interigate them."

Jake:" Harsh."

Finn got on Jake and headed straight to the Marauders base camp. Elsewhere , Princess Bubble Gum retreated to her Castle. She ended up in her security area where she keeps the TV screens displaying images of her security cameras across the Candy Kingdom. Two Banana guards were sitting in chairs watching them to make sure everything was on the up and up.

Princess Bubblegum:" Did you find her pants with the tracker on it?"

Banana guard #1:" Sure did. It was heading towards the Ice Kingdom when we last checked.

Princess Bubblegum:" I knew it. The second Portal she made must have headed straight to the Ice Kingdom. It figures, she pretends like she doesn't need anyone, but I know her better than that."

Banana Guard#2:" How do you figure that Princess." He asked turning towards the Princess.

Princess Bubblegum:" Heh, it's happens when she's dug a hole so deep in a situation, she can't get out of it. She'll need someone to get her out and it looks like she went running to her other father."

Banana Guard:" Kind of Ironic isn't it.," takes a sip of coffee," ahh, Her dads are both crazy evil, but she's the mellow one."

Princess Bubblegum:" Funny," She said slamming her fist on the control panel," but that's not what I need to hear right now. Both of you , get Rattle Balls and assemble a team to this location," she ordered pointing out the orange blip on the screen. " If he's still alive after what Hunson did to him, I bet they'll all be distracted trying to keep him alive. That's when you strike," She started to march out but stop midway. " and I want guards posted in every highly populated area. If something goes down anywhere else, I want to be the first to know." She left right after making her second order known

Banana guard#1:" Ah man," His arms went limp as he looked up and mentally cursed at the Princess." Now she wants us to stand around doing nothing?"

Banana Guard #2:" DIPS ON BREAKFAST KINGDOM," yelling while holding his right hand up with enthusiasm.

Banana Guard:" AH COME ON."

Banana Guard:" WHOOO! Excuse me while I interrogate the crap out of some bacon."

Banana Guard #1:" Go to Wildberry kingdom if you want meat," He paused realizing the irony in what he just said."

Banana Guard:" Can't do it, my body craves bacony goodness."

_Marshall Lee's house :Aaa_-

It had been a bad night for Deadpool. Being alone with your thoughts is one thing, but if there all one's you tried to forget, then it's something else entirely. No one can really escape their past unless they make peace with what they did. Deadpool however rationalized them by saying "it was his job" or " Self Defense," and his general attitude of living in the present. This was different. No healing factor to keep his memories at bay and not having his two personalities he created to keep him laughing and in the present. Luckily, Pinky Pie and Marceline offered to keep him in check.

That night when they said they can Help Deadpool, Marceline ordered him in the bed Marshall Lee offered to them. Deadpool, being the self-proclaimed perv that he is, thought this was gonna lead to a night of True Blood style Vampire/Pony sex fest. What ended up happening was Marceline got Deadpool to drink her blood, but not be biting her. To his dismay she got opened a wound and drained some into two glasses. One for Pinkie Pie and the other for Deadpool so they could heal while they slept.

Marcy was wearing wearing the Plaid shirt Marshall Lee gave her and left her red panties on with no bottoms. Pinkie Pie stayed in her Deadpool suit and told them that she needed to do a perimeter search first. Deadpool , while still scared, he was only wearing his boxer. He checked himself out in the mirror Marshall had hanging on his closet door. If there was one up-side to losing his healing factor, it's getting his good looks back with a nice full head of hair.

Deadpool:" I gotta say, when my healing factor goes on the fitz, there're some perks." Running his hands through his hair.

Marceline:" Hmm, didn't you say something about having cancer and the dudes you worked for tricked you into their puppet for a cure."

Deadpool:" There's more to that, but I really don't want to get into that," he said giving a subtle hint that this was a no no topic."

Marceline:" That's cool dude," she didn't want Deadpool having another episode, ever. So she tried to avoid topics like that and keep him grounded in the present. She grabbed two the two wine glasses with her blood in them and walked over to Deadpool.

Deadpool:" This is your blood?"

Marceline:" For sure. Why? Aren't you curious about what I taste like," She said in a seductive voice while bowing her head to the side to look embarrassed.

Deadpool:" I'd be lying if I said no," he said bluntly," but I'm now wondering if yours will give me the same side effects like in True Blood."

Marceline:" True Blood?," her voiced came with an questionable inflection, as if to think about what other people might do to vampire blood.

Deadpool:" It's a craptastic TV Drama about some psychic chic who goes from an innocent virgin to Slutty McFetish Pants thanks in less than a season. In the show vampire blood gets humans high."

Marceline:" What," She chuckled , cracking a smile when she thought how ridiculous that sounded. " That's sounds more like 1 woman stoner orgy. How is that drama?"

Deadpool:" Hmm, good point. I never met someone who smoked weed and got all dramatic. That's why your smoking the weed in the first place." Realizing Marceline was doing a great job at going with Deadpool's tangents, he reached for one of the wine glasses of blood Marceline was holding.

Marceliine:" Nononono," She pulled her hand back," That one's for Pinkie Pie."

Deadpool:" What did you do it ?," He was staring right in her eyes to see if Marceline had a tell.

Marceline:" Dude, come on, I am capable of restraining myself from trying to pull a prank on such an easy taret." Her body language suggested that she's lying.

Deadpool:" You put a Muscle relaxant in there so she'd stop talking. How close was I?"

Marceline:" *sigh* Fine you caught me," She admitted while bringing her hands up as if to say "you got me," I can dig your level of chatter, but her's is a different level crazy. "

Deadpool:" I get it, you want to keep her from talking , but at the same keeping her in her sleep to. What kind are they , bennies, roofies, Moms little helper?"

Marceline:" I cursed an aspirin with a sleeping spell. What are you gabbing on about?"

Deadpool:" Oh something D***heads who think they're hot S**T because they can only get gurls by drugging them. "

Marceline:" That's messed up," she offered the other glass to Deadpool." I left yours alone."

Deadpool:" Thanks," he wrapped his hand around the top of the wine glass. The only blood he ever tasted was his own, so he just threw it back and pounded the whole in one gulp. " Ahh, hmm. Not feeling anything, I'm gonna write hate mail to the writers of True Blood for ….false…advertisement…."

BONK

Deadpool had blacked out, like a man, within seconds of drinking Marceline's blood. Foot Steps could be heard from outside the room. It was Pinkie Pie. She walked in to find out what made the "bonk" sound.

Pinkie Pie:" I hear bonking!," she looks down at a passed out Deadpool," did you bonk him to death?"

Marceline:" I added a little something to his blood to help him sleep. He can't fare well in his sleep if he with his thoughts swimming in booze. This was just a way of keeping him asleep and getting some well earned Zzz's . "

Pinkie Pie:" SWEET!"

Marceline:" Uh, not the reaction I thought I'd see," She squinted her left eye in confusion. Pinkie Pie noticed the "WTF" look on her face and explained."

Pinkie Pie:" Remember when I told you about his cutie mark?"

Marceline:" You say it like it's a normal thing where you're from. How does this whole cutie mark think work?"

Pinkie Pie:" It's a mark ponies earn by finding their super awesome special talent and then WHAM," Pinkie Pie's explanation came with her slapping her own butt. " marks magically appears on the flank."

Marceline:" So like, you're being branded? Do you get to pick what you want?"

Pinkie Pie:" *Chuckle* No, it's not that at all Ms. Pale face,"

Marceline:" *under breath* well you're the color of a breast cancer awareness marshmallow peep."

Pinkie Pie:" You get a mark that has something to do with your special talent," Then an idea popped in here head," Here I'll show you."

Pinkie Pie removed her mask to reveal a stunning women in her early 20's. She untied the band in her hair to let it fall over her face. To get to her zipper , she grabbed her hair off her back and used the other hand to reach back. Once she grabbed it, the suit came down faster than Jenga Tower when you take out the wrong piece. She kicked it over to the side, not even thinking about the fact she just stripped in front of someone she just met. Marceline figured it was because Pinkie Pie trusted her. As flattering as that may be, Pinkie Pie gave an unflattering presentation when she tried to see it herself. Like a dog chasing his own tail, she was naked and twirling trying to see if her cutie mark was still there. Then she got frustrated and just bent over.

Pinkie Pie:" I can't tell if I still there, it should be on both sides."

Marceline:" Hmm," She looked and spotted three yellow and blue balloons on both sides of her Upper thighs, but she wanted to have some fun with her." So you're good at what, being a drug mule? Cause all I see are balloons filled "booger sugar," plus you just bent over so I just assumed."Marceline grabbed a mirror from the nightstand and threw it over to Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie:" ARE YOU SERIOUS? ," as soon as she grabbed the mirror she put it across her left thigh and peered in the Mirror. Thankfully they were just three the original three balloons. " Ohh you got me good. I bet you planned that out form the get go."

Marceline:" Not really, but I thought they'd be something like swords or blood droplets. You kicked some serious butt breaking me out, I can only imagine what you did to my dad."

Pinkie Pie:" The balloons just mean I know how to have a good time," her impatience got the better of her when she walk over to Deadpool's sleeping body," But let's see what Mr. Wilson's special talent is."

Luckily Deadpool was sleeping face down. To Pinie Pie it was less work for her as she grabbed the hem of Deadpool's boxers. With one quick yank, his buttocks was exposed , and all the wandering eyes in the room focused on his ba donk a donk. Their first response was confusion. It was a comedy mask on one side and a tragedy mask on the other. It slowly came to them like figuring out the punch line to a joke you didn't get. Once they put the pieces together, Both Marceline and Pinkie Pie stood up and fell on the bed laughing.

Marceline:" HAHAHAHAHA, OH MY….GLOB. Either his special gift was putting on a good or getting wasted at a Mardi Gras party and Said " Give your most queer tattoo good sir." Pinkie Pie laughed even harder when Marceline said that in Deadpool's voice.

Pinkie Pie:" Do you think he even knows what it is?," She got up and moved towards Deadpool again. Instead of bringing his boxers back up, she started smacking Deadpool on the Comedy mask side of his butt." DEADPOOL , WAKE UP," she yelled while continuing her slaps.

Marceline:" Whoa , hold on there Ms free spirit," Marceline got up and grabbed Pinkie Pie's glass." The last thing you need to be doing is using your hands to hit things," She gave Pinkie Pie the glass. She was about drink it when something crossed her mind.

Pinkie Pie:" Hey, did you put anything funny in this too?"

Marceline:" Of course not, I mean I'm glad Deadpool's getting some sleep but what he talks in his sleep too. If he keeps us up at night then we won't be able to help him out. The only thing I added to yours was some sugar. "

Pinkie Pie:" Awe, thank you," she brought the whole thing to her pink lips and drank every drop," Not bad, and you know what you got a point. I totally understand, Mr Wilson is total awesome sauce , but I don't think I've ever met someone who was a bigger chatterbox."

Marceline:" I have."

Pinkie Pie:" I mean can you imagine someone just going Blah blah blah blah ," She started making faces of what she thought was someone talking too much. " I mean they just go on and on about the most random subjects ever uttered…..," She started to feel woosy" I mean…like…," she finally gave in and passed out, but she ended up falling on top of Deadpool.

Marceline:" Hehe, now I'm the one with awesome sauce and sleeping like a baby tonight *Victory Dance*."

It was easy for her to pick up both Deadpool and Pinkie Pie. She grabbed them both with here arms hosting them up to her armpits. She tossed Pinkie Pie on the right side of the bed and Deadpool in the middle, leaving Marceline the right side. A blanket was draped over the two chatterboxes, while Marceline just floated on her side. It put her mind at ease knowing Deadpool was finally gonna get some good sleep, but in her head she realized she's bunking with chatterboxes. Not even death could keep them from talking.

_Marauders Base Camp:Ooo_

It had been days since the Marauders rough housed with Deadpool and Marceline. As Jake ran to their camp, Finn was riding Jake and wondered if they knew anything . Jake spotted the camps torches and started to slow down.

Jake:" Hey Finn, we're almost there. Put your game face on."

Finn:" I'm ready," he psyched himself up and jumped off of Jake. Now both of them ran inside the camp. Someone spotted them and rushed to their location.

Marauder #1:" FINN, THANK GLOB YOU'RE HERE," He embraced Finn in a manly hug.

Finn:" *choking*," Finn double tapped the marauders shoulder, signaling to let him go. " *cough* you must be *cough* real glad."

Jake:" So what's up, why are you so psyched to see us?," he asked

Marauder #1:" A few days ago , I was with the guys and were tearin it up with these two bad $$'s. Then Huson shows up and tosses them through some kind of gateway.

Finn:" You mean a Portal?"Finn started to see a pattern." Was it Marceline and some Red and Black suited dingus?"

Marauder #1:" Marceline and Deadpool, yeah it was them. How'd you know?"

Finn:" Princess Bubblegum has eyes and ears all over Ooo. "

Jake:" Kind of creeps me out."

Finn:" So did Hunson blurt out where they might end up?"

Marauder:" Hmm," He scratched his beard while trying to recall anything from that night." Now that you mention it, he did say something about the Candy Kindom to Marceline and uhh, I guess Deadpool ended up in the Nightosphere since Hunson used the same portal to leave."

Finn's eyes shot up as he froze his body from the shock of connecting all the proverbial dots. The Princess said she Marceline and Deadpool were captured and locked in the dungeon by her banana guards. She also said Deadpool was manipulating Marceline to work for him, but now he starting to think he's being manipulated as well.

Jake:" Finn?," Jake started snapping his finger in front of Finn's eyes," Anybody in there?"

Marauder #1:" Try punching him, it's how I wake up," He suggested, thinking that everyone should do it.

Jake:" Naw. Right now he's in a state of acute cognitive dissonance probably brought on by a shocking revelation …..or he needs to go boom boom."

_Marshall Lee's house: Deadpool's thoughts._

*********** This was the best quality sleep I've ever had. Wait, did I wake up first? Dammit, if I wake I might wake them up. Then we all stare at each, wondering what the F*** HAPPENED LAST NIGHT. All that booze wiped my memory slate last clean. Maybe I passed out, errr umm, blacked out. *sniff* *sniff*. I don't smell a marker, so no mustache, I guess Pinkie Pie is still asleep, OR DID SHE DO IT WHEN I BLACKED OUT?************************************************************************

Marceline:" _Somnus ._"

Marceline was the first to get up, she had to. Under the veil of her black hair was a smile wide enough to show fangs. She was well rested, but needed to feed. Time to wake up the walking punch lines.

Marceline:" _To vigilo_." She finished her incantation, dispelling the magic she used keep them sleeping. Both opened their eyes at the same time followed by shooting up like a catapult.

Pinkie Pie:" IT'S BACON!"

Deadpool:" WHERE?"

Marceline:" Nooo, it's time to get up. How'd you sleep Wade?" her concern was if the sleeping spell just made it worse.

Deadpool:" It was interesting , to say the least."

Pinkie Pie:" I dreamt, of chimi cherries fighting the cherry changas in an all-out blood bath. Blood stained swords, wedged between the ribs of Admiral Chimi with Captain Changa. Screaming cherry children diving in the dirt trying to grab their mothers hands as they take her away to shoot her in the head."

Deadpool:" Uh, I dreamt about doing stuff with cake frosting, weird stuff , BUTT STUFF!

Pinkie Pie:" CAKE FROTSING," She yelled in surprise," That's something I usually dream about."

Deadpool:" And how the F*** do dream about food and war at the same time, this ain't the Food Network's Cupcake Wars."

Pinkie Pie:" Oooohhh, It's like we shared the same dream, switching the crap you dream about and the awesome sauce dreams I have," She paused when she forgot something Awesome was just mentioned." Wait you have cupcake wars on your planet? AWESOME!"

Yep they didn't remember a thing last night, and Marceline wanted to keep it that way. Why bother telling them about the spell? Everyone needed a good night's rest anyway. In that moment of watching Pinkie Pie and Deadpool go on about dreams, made her ask if it was worth it. Marceliine turned her gaze towards the window, looking at the cave entrance and hearing drips of trickle throughout the cave. The sun wasn't gonna be a problem today, especially not today. She let her eyes wander, until she found her house, destroyed after getting swallowed through the portal. Items from days of happier times. Ice kings keyboard, her studio , a diary filled with secrets never to read again. The only item that made it over intact was her bass, the family axe. She laughed , trying to hold back tears. The axe was stuck on her bedroom wall where her be used to be. Either it was pissed off and tried to kill Marcy in bed, or it wanted to cuddle with her. She jumped a bit as a hand caressed her shoulder in a comforting motion.

Deadpool:" It sucks, this really really sucks major portions of …" he was interrupted.

Marceline:" Don't turn into a sympathy junkie and apologize to me. As soon as my dad got in the mix of all this bunk , I knew the Poop hit fan, just like I knew casting that spell would wreck my pad, but I didn't do it just for you,"her speech got faster as she starting blurting out every thought in her head," I mean, it's my fault my dad took away your healing…whatever," she was now getting frustrated, " and that he tortured you for fun, all because I have a history with Princess" Blood started to pool on the sides of her eyes. Feelings of embarrassment, guilt , and worry perforated her dead heart. After all that's happened she was worried about Deadpool's impression of her now. " Do, do you think I'm anything like my dad?"

Deadpool spun her around till their eyes met. Marceline feared the worst of what might come out of Deadpool's mouth, as per usual, but now he's become mortal again, balancing razors edge of his sanity. Was he mad? Is he sane now? Why aren't daggers coming out of his mouth?

Marceline:" SAY SOMETHING YOU JERK," She demanded

Deadpool:" ….fine…," he took a deep breath to calm his nerves," Butt, major portions of butt," Marceline had a sudden case of brain fart, was he pissed or not? He spun her around to face the window and pointed to the house. " It's gonna suck because my gear is underneath your house." Deadpool gave her a wink and a smile.

Marceline:" What?," her confusion killed the mood, stopping her tears from what she thought would embarrass her.

Deadpool:" I ask you to do ONE THING, before I passed out, I mean , blacked out," he turned his head at Pinkie Pie," bring everything pointy and my belt, how am I gonna keep my pants on now?"

Pinkie Pie:" LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE. TAKE IT BACK OR I'LL SET YOUR BOXERS ON FIRE WITH YOU IN THEM," Her threat sounded real, but at the same time they both knew what they were doing.

Deadpool:" Job's already half done, I can't wear pants now without the belt. Maybe you can steal them when I get naked and lube up with Astroglide, cause now I have to squeeze through the house looking for my accessories," He thought about what he just said," Does that sound like a porno theme to you, hmmm, we'll call it Ocean's Thirteen and a half inches ." He retorted.

Their puns spoke volumes, like a comedian on a soapbox to an audience of one. Deadpool didn't treat her any different, and it hasn't changed. From their first fist fight in the kitchen, he's been more of a kindred spirit. Two immortals escaping from their past and living in the present, taking the future on a day at a time. To her it was worth it.

SLAP

SLAP

Deadpool and Pinkie Pie:" *F*** ME THAT HURT!"

Marceline:" Heh, good times," her Gibb's slap to the head got their attention," As much as I'd like to continue this, Pinkie Pie, the "60's free spirit look" won't go well here. For glob knows why, Marshall Lee has a some chicks clothes in his closet. Take a shower then put them on , at the least will scare the brown out of him. Deadpool," Deadpool pointed at himself as if to ask "who me".

Deadpool:" Yesum."

Marceline:" Head downstairs and see if Marshall is up. We need our pie holes filled, I'm starving and this close to biting your necks."

Deadpool: " heh," Big shock, his mind's in the gutter," Girl I'm down for a threesome."

POOF

A pillow truck Deadpool which prompted him to check on Marshall Lee.

_Marshall Lee's House: Kitchen_-

Marshall Lee was the first to wake up, yawning and stretching his arms in the open air. He figured after what happened the night before, a good breakfast with coffee might be perk them up. First he started making the coffee, using what looked a coffee maker from the early 90's on earth. While it was brewing , he fried slabs of bacon on the stove. He put them on a plate with a paper towel over it to catch the grease.

Marshall Lee:" Maybe I should leave the grease for flavor. If what Marceline said was true than Deadpool is gonna be hung over from all that booze." A couple of eggs went in with the bacon grease. Deadpool could smell the aroma of bacon, taking a whiff big enough to distract him from the steps.

Marshall Lee:" Mornin sunshine," he greeted Deadpool with a southern accent. " How ya feelin."

Deadpool:" Mentally ….not too bad, physically…..well you know how a .22 caliber bullet isn't strong enough to pass though the skull, so it just rattles around in your brain like Pac Man. "

Marshall Lee:" No, but I get where you're going with this," he said thinking about the level of pain he's in.

Deadpool:" …..That'd feel pretty good right now." Deadpool walked over to Marshall Lee's coffee table and sat down while crossing his arms and set his head on them.

Marshall Lee:" Hangover?"

Deadpool:" Marceline,' He answered.

Marshall Lee:" Ouch," He had been at the receiving end of a Marcy Slap." Coffee's over there."

Deadpool:' Thanks."

Next to come down was Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie:" Morning Marshall."

Marshall Lee," Morning Fiona," He saw Fiona's outfit from the side of his eyes when he blurted that out," I mean Pinkie…..F*** it I'm busted."

Marceline:" Damn right." She said pointing right at him."

Marshall Lee:" Are those my pants?," he asked noticing she put on a pair of his jeans with another one of his plaid shirts.

Marceline:" I hope not, cause I'm filling out the crotch are of em beter than you."

_15 Minutes Later_

Everybody sat at the coffee table, dressed, and eating breakfast. Deadpool went back to wearing his suit, but without the mask since he didn't look like Freddy Kruger anymore. Pinkie Pie still wore Fiona's outfit, and pretty well, with the exception of the bunny ears hat Fiona was known for. Marceline put on one of Marshall Lee's clean shirts, but tied the excess fabric in a knot behind her so hit fit better.. Deadpool finished his second cup of coffee and decided this was the time to start planning.

Deadpool:" What do you guys think about getting back to work?

Pinkie Pie: *mouthed filled with bacon* " Uu ean I an pftart dove duh eam ?( translation: You mean I'm part of the team)

Deadpool:" Yes Pinkie Pie, and slow down on the bacon," he advised." Going from carbs to protein might do a number on your colon."

Marceline:" I'm in, " she said in a determined voice," they crossed the line and I want payback."

Marshall Lee:" Pfft, why not. I'll help out on my end, but not in Ooo."

Deadpool:" What's with the whole Ooo and Aaa thing?"

Marshall Lee:" You are in the land of Aaa, it's like a gender swap parallel universe thing with everyone in Ooo. We got here using a spell from Marceline's copy of the "Winchester Gospel."

Deadpool:" Nope, from now on Aaa will be dubbed "World number 34/63," He referenced internet rules.

Marshall Lee:" Uh huh," He gave Deadpool a blank stare." Anyway, If I help you guys in Ooo, I might get spotted and they might find out about," he was interrupted be Deadpool.

Deadpool:" AHEM!,"

Marshall Lee:" World number 34/63."

Marceline:" You've helped us more than you know Marshall. It's cool if you don't want to get involved too much."

Pinkie Pie:" And you gave us Bacon, I never knew how much good meat tasted." She set herself up. Marceline looked over at Deadpool.

Marceline:" Too easy."

Deadpool:" Agreed," he continued explaining his plan." Marshall, I do have a plan that involves you, but first, let me tell you what inspired the intricacy oh my sexy new plan," he cleared his throat," After puking most of the alcohol in the toilet, I had to poop, so I killed two birds with one stone. However I happened upon that book you had, "the Winchester Gospel ", and skim a few pages."

Marceline:" You took my book in the bathroom , so you could take a crap?"

Deadpool:" Don't question greatness."

Pinkie Pie:" Oooh Oooh," She raised her hand like an ansy school girl with a question." What language to you speak while you're in the bathroom." Classic joke.

Deadpool:' In my case "cling-on", but that's beside the point," he went back to the subject of his plan." Then it hit me, what would cause more chaos in Ooo, then to pull down the proverbial pants off Princess Bubblegum and exposing the sexy panties of truth. She's gotta be hiding something down there and I intend to sniff it out."

Marceline:" I hope all that was meant to be a metaphor, unless you're trying to look for truffles in there."

Pinkie Pie:" Hopefully not chocolate truffles."

Marceline and Pinkie Pie worked with Deadpool's thought process like a well-oiled machine as everyone laughed a bit when Pinkie Pie had the last word with a poop joke.

Deadpool:" Heh, not a chance. I don't want to spend my shortened life getting lost in her cobwebs," cleared throat again," back to the plan, she wants me dead, hired Marcy's old man to do it, my question is what did she offer a power hungry guy like Hunson to do her dirty work? Plus, why kill me at all?"

Marceline:" Before Pinkie Pie busted me out and knocked her lights out, she said she knew about how Lemongrab horded all the food from the lemon people, and how he forced them into bondage. If anything , she wants you dead to cover her own butt."

Deadpool:" Exactly. Someone under her thumb might be willing to spill the beans on her and maybe even a sex tape to sweeten the pot. Once the word gets out about the corrupt princess," He pulls out a couple of notes he wrote for his plan and took out Marceline's book," that will keep her busy while I get my healing factor back."

Marceline:" That book better not reek of poo gas after laying "wolf bait" during your book club on the crapper."

Deadpool:" Relax, it didn't smell at all, I barely had to wipe."

Marshall Lee:" Dude, we're eating," He paused from his strawberries.

Deadpool:' Oops…as I was saying, there's a summoning spell for something called a "Wishmaster," he went on ," One had died in Ooo, and this spell can bring him back, but we need the help of someone who knows something out the dead and dark magic, who works for the Princess, hint hint,"

Marceline:" Peppermint Butler!"

Next time on the next chapter of Deadpool Agent of Chaos, The group heads back to Ooo to find someone who knows dark magic that just so happens to work with Princess Bubblegum, Ice King gets a visit from Princess Bubblegum's hit squad, and now that Finn knows that truth , will he still follow orders and take out Deadpool?


	10. Chapter 23: Deadpool Dead?

_Ice Kingdom_

In the frozen tundra of the Ice Kindom, past the snow-cap mountains, past Iceclops and Snow Golems, you'd find one mountain particularly intriguing. The Ice King, formerly Simon Petrikov, resided at the top of the tallest mountain in the ice kingdom. His intention for such a remote location, primarily "seclusion" were sketchy at best.

Ice King was pacing around his icy living quarters, looking at his reflection on the floor, wondering what he needs to do. Deadpool's antics spread to the Ice King after Wizard City was invaded by Marauders, with Deadpool leading them. At the time, the Ice King was chillin after a day of debauchery themed "princess peeping time ." News of the Marauder's raid had appeared in a Wizard City mass email, to which Ice King replied with a video of Deadpool spraying the entire Candy Kingdom with soda. She responded back by confirming Deadpool was the one in Wizard City.

Knowledge of Deadpool surfed it's way around Ice Kings brain. His antics, penchant for violence, and overall, bat S*** crazy attitude, made Ice King give some serious consideration into what he had planned for Deadpool. Gunter, one of his penguins, was quaking at Ice King to try and get his attention. Gunther laid on his bell, with his feet against an ice wall.

Gunther:" Quack, quack,"

Ice King:" No Gunther, I'm struggling with a huge decision here," he said still pacing.

Gunther:" Quack."

Ice King:" Ok, fine I'll tell you ," He rubbed the back of his head while he gave an odd smile right at Gunther. He was nervous, sweating bullets that quickly turned to icicles, because to him this, this decision would alter the course of events of an entire planet.

Gunther:" Quack."

Ice King:" This Deadpool guy,"

Gunther:" Quack."

Ice King:" I think we should," he said narrowing his gaze, thinking about the consequences of his actions.

Gunther:" Quack."

Ice King:" Add him to my Fionna and Cake fan fic,"

Gunther:" QUACK!"

Ice King:" Oh why not?," disappointed by Gunther's response, Ice King stomped his foot on the icy floor, like a kid who never "never got what he wanted." his foot slipped on the last stomp, making his legs spread until his butt hit the floor.

Thud

Gunther:" Quack, quack,"

Ice King: " WHAT THE SLIZ." He rubbed his butt to help numb the pain, if the ice didn't do it all ready.

Gunther:" Quack."

Ice King:" Deadpool in Aaa, it's been done? What do ya mean?"

The bat Marceline told to hide the pants with the tracking device after they got Deadpool back, had reached the Ice Kingdom. The pants in its claw were flapping uncontrollably as it swooped down, aiming at the Ice king's cave. When the bat managed to get in the Ice Kings cave, it let them go and flew out as soon as it when in. They ended up on Ice Kings face.

Ice king:" What the* grabbing the pants* Gunther, why are you still ordering hot pants?"

Gunther:" Quack," his head started to shake "No"

Ice King:" Don't lie to me Mr. Stank Booty,"

beep, beep, beep

Ice King:" The pants beep? Gunther you sicken me," he turned the pants inside out to find out how they were beeping. A small sliver of the fabric was torn, to reveal the tracking device.

beep, beep,beep

Ice King:" Is a security tag? YOU STOLE THESE GUNTHER…..WITHOUT REMOVING THE TAG?"

Gunther:" Quack, quack , QUACK!"

Ice King:" No Gunther, that's a bad penguin," White shards of ice dispersed from, and shot an ice beam at the pants, fully encasing it in ice," Now no one can wear the hot pants."

Gunther:" Quack quack." His shrugged his shoulders briging his flippers in the *Why the F*** not stance.

Ice King:" One , you botched up a simple snatch and grab by getting a bat to do your biz. Two, the tags spray ink if ya try and mess with it. It gets on your face , the clothes, a squirt went in my mouth once," Gunther couldn't help putting up T sign with his flippers, as if to say " Too much information."

Gunther:" Quack Quack."

Ice King:" *sigh* Get out of my sight,"

FART

Gunther farted hard enough against the wall to propel his body across the ice to the cave entrance, and falling just as fast. Ice King through the block of ice that had the pants in them outside to see if it would nail Gunther on the way down. He ran towards the entrance when he heard a smash outside. What came up was a Banana guard scaling Ice King's mountain with his squad. The Guard that got hit with the iced pants clutched the edges of the entrance, pulling himself into Ice King's Cave.

Banana guard: "Owie!, " he cried.

Ice King:" What the Sliz you yellow oaf?"

Banana Guard:" Jeez, this hurts and burns at the same time," The bruise on his head was quite extensive, some parts of it were numb to the touch," Oh GLOB IS THIS FROSTBITE?"

Ice King:" Of course not," His hand went up to touch the Banana guard's stomach region, and shot a blast that trapped the guard in ice from the neck down" give that a few hours, you'll know and feel what frostbite is like at the same time.

Banana Guard:" AHHH MAAAAN!," He yelled trying to struggle and hopefully break the ice, but it failed. Let's face it, you don't hire Bananas for their strength, you pay to play out the whole Candy Kingdom "Shtick."

Ice King:" Spill it banana, there's only two reasons why you'd be hear. I haven't taken any Princess…today, so that just," He gasped." GUNTHER DESTROY MY COMPUTER *slience* ah butt traps."

Banana Guard:" You're gonna torture me aren't you?" his teeth started to chatter as the numbing effect of the ice started freezing his spine.

Ice King:" Don't get so dramtic , just tell me why you're here."

Banana Guard:" We had orders."

Ice King:" We?" his eyebrow was raised.

Banana Guard:" My whole squad Is climbing up here," his speech became rapid wondering why he couldn't feel his arms," Umm, we were supposed to climb the mountain, and like , arrest you for harboring a fugitive. I got here first cause I carb loaded on Wheaties, and not I really have to poop so can ya help a brother out and let me go?"

Ice King:" Hmm, so you squad's still climbing my mountain?"

Banana Guard:" Uh huh," Doink

Ice King kicked the frozen Banana Guard out of the cave. The guard starting rolling down hill , collecting bits of snow on the way until he became a gigantic snow ball. Sadly, his squad took the same path he did. When the banana squadron saw the oncoming mass of snow, they retreated, or at least tried to. Not before getting engulf inside the rolling snow ball. 

Ice King:" heh heh, slipping on a banana, on ice. It beats dipping em all in boiling chocolate," he suddenly felt hunger creep up on him, so he made his way to his kitchen to stuff his face. Grabbing a few items from the freezer and cabinets, Ice King began to fix himself up a Banana Split with scoops of Banana ice cream with Dublin mudslide syrup. After topping it with whipped cream, he grabbed it and walked back to his living room, but someone was standing there blocking the way out.

Rattleballs:" Ice King, where is she."

Ice King:" Not this again, I told your flunkies I don't have the Princess, if you don't mind I need to eat this ironically crafted bowl of ice cream on their icy graves."

Rattleballs:" I know she's here Ice King," He pulls out his rapier sword, swinging it hard enough for Ice King to feel its breeze, and cut through his banana split. Rattleballs must have been 10 feet away, his technique was flawless. " I won't ask a third time, her prison uniform had a tracking device implemented inside the fabric, and scanners show the last location was here, now where is Marceline?

Ice King:" Marceline? Why would her pants be here? It's not like she's a princess so I wouldn't even want em." Rattleballs just started walking towards Ice king, it was clear he wasn't going to cooperate. " Oh come on, don't judge me, queens are too old, and Princesses are old enough for me not to feel a bad when I stalk them."

Princess Bubblegum told Rattleballs to kill the Ice king if he found Marceline and Deadpool or if Ice King denied anything. Ice King just stood there , watching as Rattleballs raised his sword again. Ice King held his arms out while screaming "WAIT" at the top of his lungs. It was too late.

Gunther:" Quack," he walked right inbetween them , dropping something on the floor.

Rattleballs:" WOAH !clunk." He fell on his metal cheek meat first, then his back and legs.

Ice King:" I told you to wait, GUNTHER, this is not how we treat guests," Gunther finished the banana he ate, and looked over at Rattle balls. A spark of pure bliss radiated in Gunther's eyes,"

Gunther:" Quack,"

Ice King:" Gunther, what are you doing, how'd you get back up here? Are you even listening?" Gunther seemed spell bound as he was walking to Rattleballs fallen body, more specifically his head. Rattleballs spotted the penguin coming towards him, his body wouldn't let him leave though, the fall must have broken something inside of Rattle balls that left him immobile. Gunther gazed at the glass head of Rattleballs, his flipper rising in anticipation, savoring the moment before he slammed it down, shattering Rattleballs head completely.

Ice King:" Ouch, tough break, remind me never to make you angry Gunther."

Ice King let Gunther smash Rattleballs some more as he gathered his thoughts. Princess Bubblegum sent her peons to ask about Marceline, but according to Huntress Wizard she was dealing with Deadpool. Then it hit him, Marceline and Deadpool were leading that raid at Wizard City. It was time to meet Deadpool in person.

_Princess Bubblegum's Castle's:Ooo _

Night had fallen on the Candy Kingdom, every citizen was asleep, and the streets were filled with guards. Princess Bubblegum had doubled Banana guard security in the kingdom itself, with her castle being watched by Gumball Knights. These Rattleball look a-likes served as the Princess newly appointed night shift guards.

One wing of the castle was only protected by one Gumball Knight, the servant's quarters. This was where Peppermint stayed as the Castle's live in…..butler, obviously. A guard was stationed behind a door leading into his bedroom. It was classy, not as big as the princess's bedroom, but still had all the amenities she had. He was coiled up in the pink satin sheets of his bed, candy canes posted on all corners ,with multi colored marshmallows as pillows.

Peppermint Butler had gained most of his body composition back after the soda incident with Deadpool. Only thing that was missing were hit red stripes. He tussled a bit in bed trying to get comfortable, completely ignoring the red portal opening up on the right side of bed. Marceline, Pinkie Pie, and Deadpool stepped through quietly. Marceline was wearing camouflage pants with a black tank top and a red headband that held up her hair. Both Pinkie Pie and Deadpool wore their suits, masks and all.

How did they get there? Back in Aaa Deadpool figured that if Ooo was the Same as Aaa, Marceline could make the Portal to get back to Ooo, but in the place they needed to be to avoid the guards. Marshall Lee brought everyone to Prince Gumball's castle. He asked the Prince if he could take his new friends on a tour, to which he replied "Not a chance." Pinkie Pie had taken the initiative, sneaking behind Prince Gumball and put him in a sleeper hold. The Prince fell unconscious, but not before Pinkie Pie cutting his hair and eating it, sure enough it was actual gum.

It took them a while before they made it to Peppermint "maids" rooms. Marshall Lee gave his goodbyes and wished them luck, since this was as far as he'd go. Once they snuck in to Peppermint Maids room, Marceline bit her thumb to draw blood, and etch the trans-dimensional portal in the air. And that's how they got in, fascinating.

Deadpool:" I'm starting to rethink this," Deadpool whispered.

Pinkie Pie:" Now you tell us," pinkie pie retorted.

Marceline:" I know he's not your biggest fan right now, but his dark magic skills dwarf mine. If you want get Prismo back , this is the guy to talk too."

Deadpool:' Prismo, that's the Wishmaster's name? Sounds like the Grandmaster Rubics Cube player."

Pinkie Pie:" Yumm, I thought this guy was a salt lick," Pinkie Pie was licking Peppermint Butler's head.

Deadpool:" Pinkie Pie!," He yelled very quietly," Girl are you crazy?Are you trying to get me killed or his chewy center of his Tootsie Pop?"

Peppermint Butler:" huh..*slowly opens his eyes* You ," he pointed at Deadpool." You have the nerve to sneak into my bedroom, you PYCHOPATH!"

Deadpool:'' Ahem, highly dysfunctional sociopath," he corrected Peppermint Butler,"and pose.

Pinkie Pie:" Hey Mr. Candy Man, don't mind me," Pinkie Pie grabbed him and licked his entire back.

Peppermint Butler:" EEEYYUKK, you vile thing, how dare you blah blah blah," Pinkie Pie completely ignored him.

Pinkie Pie climbed one of the candy cane posts with Peppermint Butler under her arm. When she got to the top, she stuck Peppermint Butler to the ceiling like Movie Theater used piece of Peppermint Butler could see everything going on when Marceline flicked the light on. He was stuck on the ceiling , looking down at Deadpool, who drew one of his katanas and stuck it in the floor boards blade up, right below Peppermint Butler. Marceline decided to do mitigate the situation.

Marceline:" P.B., This has got to come to an end," she started narrowing her gaze at Peppermint Butler to let him know she meant business," Bonnie has gone too far trying to cover all of this up."

Peppermint Butler:" I have no idea what you are referring to Ms. Abadeer."

Deadpool:" *tsk tsk tsk* That's too bad, guess we found the wrong guy," He pointed at the door with his thumbs," Tell ya what, since you are completely innocent in Princess Bubblegum's nonexistent plan to take me out , we'll just go. I'll leave my sword here to catch you when you fall."

Peppermint Butler:" WAIT….I ..may know something," He went from terrified to calm in less than five seconds . Either he knew something and it was legit, or he's talking out of his candy $$.

Deadpool:" Out with it," Deadpool's voice deepened," Or I'll have my associate smother you with a pillow."

Pinkie Pie:" And who doesn't like a mint on their pillow?"

Peppermint Butler:" That won't be necessary ,"he sighed," It's true Princess Bubblegum wants you dead. And her reasons are less than admirable I'm afraid. She doesn't want you spreading the news of her lack of involvement during Lemongrabs dictatorship. The Princess knew how they were being treates, and saw no reason to help them, until you came and killed everyone. Right now she has every corpse of the Lemon people who dies there , in her lab. She figured it could benefit the Candy Kingdom to learn where she went wrong, so she could build a new race of Lemon people who were just as crazy as Lemongrab, but obedient. "

Marceline:" So she sends my father to kill Deadpool, and if her secret got out she could blame Deadpool for the thing."

Peppermint Butler:'' Correct, you were the only one who knew what happened, but Hunson and The Princess decide to keep you alive."

Marceline:" To keep me from blowing the whistle on you guys," She threw in hand up in anger," UNBELIEVABLE!"

Deadpool:"…" when deadpool heard about operating tables, his brain defaulted to bringing back memories of being tortured by Dr. Killbrew , then Pinkie Pie stopped it.

Pinkie Pie:" Uh Mr. Wilson, you in there?"

Deadpool:" Huh, yeah ," his took a deep breath to slow his rising heart beat.

Peppermint Butler:" I do feel bad about all of this, despite being humiliated by that clown."

Deadpool:'' Then fix it, you said she was keeping the bodies in her lab right, are they still there?"

Peppermint Butler:'' Of course they are, but you'll need the key to get in," He points to a key ring on his nightstand. It had a copy of every key to all the locks in the castle, including the one to the Princesses Lab. Pinkie Pie grabs the key ring, combing through everyone trying to find the one to the lab.

Marceline:" That's a start, but it's not enough," She opened her copy of the "Winchester Gospel," to the page describing Wishmasters." See this?," She floated to Peppermint Butler could read it.

Peppermint Butler:"hmmm," he started reading it to himself," you want to resurrect a Wishmaster? That's easy, we just need to crush a fire opal, say a few incantations , and throw the opal dust at an empty vessel to house him."

Pinkie Pie:" Like what, a lamp?," She shrugged her shoulder.

Deadpool:" *sigh* this is isn't Aladdin Pinkie Pie, we're not summoning Robin Williams, although why Eris didn't recruit him is beyond me," Deadpool walked over to his sword and pulled it out of the floor board. Peppermint Butler sigh in relief knowing he wasn't going to be impaled.

Peppermint Butler:" Oh thank Glab."

Deadpool:" No, thank Marceline," He points his sword in her direction," She suggested we talk to you, specifically. Dark Magic from a butler made of peppermint sounds ridiculous, and it would've never crossed my mind."

Peppermint Butler:" I don't quite understand."

Deadpool:" Let's just say you'd be taking the Pepsi challenge again,"

Pinkie Pie:" Uh oh, I don't think I'm eligible to compete,"

Marceline:" How does that happen?"

Pinkie Pie:" Because I'd test positive for "Coke."

Peppermint Butler:" Excuse me, if this intellectually stimulating is finished, I'd like to help you in your endeavors."

Deadpool:" Didn't the book say we needed a vessel?"

Peppermint Butler:" You could use one of my Zombies I keep in that cage where we met. "

Deadpool:" Oh yeah, I forgot about them," he scratched his head." If this were a horror film I'd be dead by know,"

Peppermint Butler:" If I may ask, why do you require the assistance of a Whishmaster, power over your enemies?"

Deadpool:" *sigh* Pinkie Pie , get him down," Pinkie Pie jumped back on the Candy Cane posts of Peppermint Butlers bed. She stuck one of her butcher knives in between the ceiling and Peppermint Butler, jiggling the handle until she pried him of, and falling hard on the floor."

Deadpool:" Hunson C*** blocked my healing powers, and I don't know a damn thing about dark magic. If this were D&D, I'd be a chaotic neutral ninja who's half gargoyle and half smart $$. You don't ask the smart $$ to cast "resurrect," cause the smart $$ would use it on the Dungeon Master's junk. Do you get my point?"

Peppermint Butler:" Not in the slightest, but I'll help if it means stopping the princess. We do have a small problem."

Marceline:" OH MAN," she face palmed herself at not thinking about the pickle they just got in," How are we going to get passed the guards? I can't keep zapping us places by portals, they take too much out of me."

Deadpool:" Hmm, and that would mean you need to feed," He grabbed his other katana and gave it to Marceline," Just in case," looking at Pinkie Pie," Pinkie Pie, take Peppermint Butler up to that cage, grab a zombie."

Peppermint Butler:" I do have fire opals up there as well, Oh, before I forget," he grabbed the krey ring from Pinkie Pie and pulled out the one he wanted," This should get you into the lab, if you have a cell phone, take picture of the Lemon People, they won't be hard to find."

Deadpool:" You guys have cell phones."

Marceline:" Don't you?," She pulled out a small black call phone from her pocket and showed it to Deadpool.

Deadpool:" Well I'll be damned, If Steve Jobs made it to Ooo I'm questioning his death," Clutching his katana in his right hand, he motions his left for everyone to get ready to leave. Pinkie Pie pulls out both Butcher knives and stands next to Deadpool behind the door out.

Deadpool grabbed the door knob, turning it gently , and peeked outside to see a Gumball Knight standing right in front of them with its back turned. He turned his head towards Pinkie Pie, giving directions in military operation hand signals. The message was, " One, enemy ,go prone, stay true." She curled her thumb and index finger to signal " I understand."

Pinkie Pie took a few steps back with Deadpool ready with the door. Deadpool raised his hand to countdown the number of seconds, to signal Pinkie Pie to….

Pinkie Pie:" HEEE YYAAA," She sprinted towards the door, jumping into a flying sidekick, breaking the door into pieces , and nailing the Gumball Knight with her boot. The knight flew towards the wall, breaking it's glass head until gumballs rolled on the floor. Pinkie Pie spit out Prince Gumball's hair , replacing it with one of the Gumballs that fell out of the Knight.

Deadpool:" What the heck was that?" He asked while walking over to her.

Pinkie Pie:" I did what you told me to do, you signaled " Knock his butt through the wall on the count to 1."

Deadpool:" Who in their half-baked mind would count to one, and that's not even close to what I said."

Pinkie Pie:" Hey, that's not what I got from it,"

Deadpool:" Then you heard what you wanted to hear."

Pinkie Pie:"….maybe," She gave him a smile under her mask and a ween."

Marceline:" Someone must of heard that," she said coming through the door with Peppermint Butler.

Deadpool:" Perfect," Deadpool picked up the gumballs and grabbed the knights body by the legs," P.B. , take Marceline and Pinkie Pie to the attic, grab what you need to make the spell work, give Marcy the key and directions to the lab. Marceline," He started dragging the body in Peppermint Butlers room," When you know how to find the lab, come find me in here and we'll go together," he dumbs the body P.B.'s room and was about to close the door," Oh and Pinkie pie…..if you take out any guards along the way, you can keep the candy inside them."

Pinkie Pie:" Really?," on that note, she grabbed Peppermint Butlers hand and dashed to the first flight of stairs. Marceline was about to follow, but she had to ask Deadpool something.

Marceline:" Are you gonna be ok in there by yourself?"

Deadpool:" I think I can spend 10 mintues alone without going into a panic attack, I'm sure Peppermint Butler has some kind of Porn laying around, like a Dove Chocolate catalog or something."

Marceline:'' Ok," She started to float toward the stairs Pinkie Pie went up," I'll come back for you, just thing happy thoughts until I get back,'' she was long gone, leaving Deadpool to hide the Gumball Knight corpse.

Deadpool closed the door behind him. Not having the patience for something as dull as hiding a robot body, he just stuffed the Gumball night underneath Peppermint Butler's bed. It looked pretty comfortable, so Deadpool got on it and sat down crossing his legs. Then a chill ran down his spine, reminding him of the cold metal operating tables. The worst was when he saw other patients being handles by Dr. Killbrew. Deadpool wasn't the only one who was tortured. Some of the interns got sadistic when they opened the chest cavity of a 16 year old mutant girl. It was hard to tell what she was wearing, due to the full body restraint buckles. From what he remembered , she had black boot, black skin tight pants, a skimpy black tank top, which was later removed when they sawed through her rib cage while she was awake .Like Deadpool, she had a healing factor, which gave the interns a chance to play with her. Deadpool stood was on an adjacent table, looking over at the young girl being groped by all the male interns. A mirror floated above her to give any medical staff member a better view at the operation. What Deadpool saw wasn't ol Doogie Howser trying to cop a feel. He could see her chest , flayed like a rack of lamb. When they sawed through her ribs, one intern grabbed the sternum bon , and popped it off like a soda tab. He could hear her ribs cracking more as he pulled it back. Another intern grabbed a camera while the one who took out her ribs, cupped her still beating heart and told the dude holding the camera to take a picture. From Deadpool's point of view, this was a sadist who wanted a selfie of him motor boating this girls organs. All the while, her head kept hitting the metal table, her blood soaked black hair whipped around while she screamed , flinging bits of tissue everywhere.

Long story short, he didn't want to go to the lab at all. He knew once he saw those bodies , it would take all of his concentration not to have a panic attack. The problem was, while he sat on the bed, his heart was beating rapidly in anticipation. Then he got an idea, a sort of last resort plan. He interlocked his fingers, holding his hand together, and bowed his head.

Deadpool:'' Umm, Eris…It's me Deadpool. I'm not clear on how this works, but I'm desperate. I get why you recruited Pinkie Pie, I mean who wouldn't, but i'm guessing you didn't get enough power to come here yourself. Don't feel bad , cause I don't. I blame the Princess. She may look as sweet as Big League Chew gum on the outside, but she's looking to hang me with a red licorice noose. Everything I've done, she's manage to keep it silent in not bury it completely. I'm not making excuses, I just wanted you to know why you haven't been getting your daily dose of Chaos Mojo lately. If you can hear me, just realize me getting out of this alive, is not gonna happen. If there's any way you can pitch in and try to help me, think of something fast."

Tap tap tap

Deadpool:" Huh," Deadpool's eyes spotted what was making that sound. A blue figure was outside Peppermint Butler's window. " Great, I ask for help and I get a an angry bird knocking on the window," He walked to the window to stop the "bird " from making any more noise.

tap tap tap

Deadpool:" Jeez, stop tapping you idiot or I'll put you in a sling shot and launch your egg laying $$ at a bunch of green pigs," He reached up to unlock the latch, what flew in wasn't a bird though.

Ice King:" Are…are you Deadpool."

Deadpool:" Uh yeah," he snapped his fingers in front of his eyes to make sure he was awake. An old dude in a robe is flying right above him, so he must either be dreaming or this guy was about undo his belt like in that scene in Ghostbuster.

Ice King:" tee hee, I feel like a fan girl. It's just that I've heard so much about you that I had to see it for myself," Ice king landed in front of Deadpool, grabbing his hand and shaking it uncontrollably." It's so refreshing to meet a fellow stalker."

Deadpool:" Buddy, I don't stalk. Women "invite" me to spy on them in a tree."

Ice King:" *chuckle* oh you are too much, but not very accurate. Princess Bubblegum's room is a few floors up," Without realizing it, he had been shaking Deadpool's hand the entire time," Whoops, sorry about that."

Deadpool:' No biggy," he said while wiping his hand on Peppermint Butler's sheets," Who are you, cause unless you tell me in the next 10 seconds , " Ice king saw his sword come up in between his own eyes," or I cut off your nose and stuff it down your diaper."

Ice King:" Chill out bro, I'm tight with Marceline, she'll vouched for me." He said raising his arms in defense.

Deadpool:" wait, you know Marcy?," He remembered a conversation with her about a Wizard she's known her entire life, this must be him," You're the Ice King aren't you."

Ice King:" Blue ice cold skin and a crown, what was your first hint?," He said in blatent sarcasm.

Deadpool:" Sorry about that old timer, I remember Marceline mentioning you," he thought to himself, was this a sign from Eris? A powerful wizard that controlled ice just happened to fly in the same castle he was breaking into? Coincidence, the universe isn't that lazy. " Hmm, so you've heard of my work?"

Ice King:" Are you kidding, nothing happens in Wizard city without someone sending a mass email. You can't expect privacy in a city that has butt load of Psychics and fortune tellers," Ice King noticed an arm sticking our from under Peppermint Butler's bed," *gasp* are you on a job now, OOOH, CAN I HELP? I PROMISE I'll so a good job, we can be bosom buddies fighting the tyranny of current marriage laws." This was getting ice king excited, Deadpool had other plans though.

Deadpool:" Actually you can help, I was gonna head to the Fire Kingdom, but," Deadpool started speaking with a southern belle accent," I couldn't bare the heat. Now you've come along to help little old me, I always depended on the kindness of strangers, ya'll think you can cause a little ruckus over there in my place?"

Ice King:" Really, the fire kingdom…..what do ya need done?"

Deadpool:" hehe, make it snow, everywhere!"

Ice King:" What? It's the called "fire" kingdom. Even I'm not that powerful. Believe me I tried. Only thing I could do was open the castle gate to let in a cool breeze, and then pass out from the heat."

Deadpool:" Give me a sec," Deadpool dug into one of his pouches that hung form his belt. He searched a bit until he found what felt like a Rubiks cube. Blue light started to glow as he pulled his hand back, revealing a small cube. Ice King felt a heavy magical presence when Deadpool held the cube in his hand.

Ice King:" What the," He bent his head to get a better look at the cube," I think your snow globe is busted."

Deadpool:'' This is not a snow globe my perverted friend, this is what many comic book geeks refer to as the Cosmic cube, guaranteed to amplify a magic users powers."

Ice King:" Are you giving me a gift?," he started to get emotional," I've never felt so happy!." He pulled Deadpool in for a hug, grabbing his head and pulling it in his chest. Deadpool started to suffocate form his beard. Ice king let him go before he started coughing.

Deadpool:'' *gasp* DUDE, it F***ing stinks in there, you know you've got bits of food in that shag carpet you call a beard, is that like a snack to you," He brushed the food crumbs from Ice Kings beard off." Just take the cube and make it snow in the Fire Kingdom. Go nuts, build a snowman there ,build an Ice Castle, shoot ice shards from your butt, do whatever you want."

Ice King:" You mean I should "Let it go?"

Deadpool:'' *sigh* I should've known, everyone has seen Frozen," He handed Ice King the Cosmic Cube," Oh, but before you go," He searched another pouch and pulled out an extra Deadpool mask," wear this," He took of The Ice Kings crown, and stuffed his big head in the mask. It managed to fit after Ice Kings nose pierced through the fabric. Deadpool put his crown back on.

Ice King:" How's it look?"

Deadpool:'' Like I just put a condom on a dude you doesn't "Man" scape. Just wear it until you've frozen the Fire Kingdom over."

Ice King:" Are you kidding , I'm never taking this baby off," With the cosmic cube in his possession , Ice king floated to the window again," Hey, when I get back, let's all have a sleep over at my place, bring princesses."

Deadpool:" You got it."

Ice King:" See ya later bosom buddy," Deadpool waved goodbye as the Ice King flew off into the night sky with his eyes set on the Fire Kingdom.

Deadpool:'' I am no man's bosom."

Marceline:" Psst , Deadpool. Get your goofy butt over here."

Now that Deadpool set himself up with an insurance policy, he ran out the door following Marceline to Princess Bubblegums lab. They raced upstairs to the next floor, knowing full well where they were heading. Marceline grabbed Deadpools arms before they got to the top. Both ended up floating near the ceiling of the third floor hallway. Deadpool got a birds eye view of the numerous Gumball Knights on patrol. They landed in a spot in the middle just as a few of the guards were facing the other way. Marceline and Deadpool both grabbed their Katanas, and stood back to back.

FART

That got the attention of every guard on that floor. When they saw the source of the fart, they all drew their rapiers and charged in. Deadpool's blade met with the guards first. He deflected a downward strike , causing the Gumball night to stumble in Marceline's direction. Marceline pulled her leg back and side kicked the oncoming Knight off is feet in the air, allowing Deadpool time to jump up, stabbing the helpless knight in his back. The knight stayed stuck to his sword like a shish kabob. Marceline got distracted on her side, so she didn't notice two Gumball knights throwing their swords like a dart. Marceline didn't notice until it was too late, both swords went through both of her shoulders. She gritted her teeth trying to hold in a scream. Smoke had escaped her wounds, causing her skin to burn uncontrollably. The Gumball Knights took the advantage. One kicked her in the stomach, causing her to bend over in pain, while the other grabbed her head and brought it to his metal knee, breaking her nose in the process. Her whole fell backwards, causing the swords still stick in her, searing her flesh. It took her a awhile to realize their swords were silver. While she was down , the Knights grabbed their swords, only to push them deeper in Marceline shoulder muscles. Deadpool turned back to see Marceline getting her butt kicked. He still had one of the knights on his blade. His reflexed took over as he gripped his katana like a baseball bat, and swung it as hard as he could. The Gumball knight hit both guards, stopping them from further violating Marceline. Deadpool knelt down and took both blades out of Marceline shoulders. She did her best not to scream while the blades kept burning her when Deadpool pulled them out. Without even thinking, Deadpool cut his own wrist and offered it to Marceline. Instinct took control, she started sucking on Deadpool's open cut. Deadpool started to feel faint, so he pushed Marceline's head back.

Deadpool:" I'm cutting you off for now," Since Deadpool didn't have his Healing factor, how was he supposed to stop bleeding? It was time to do somtihng stupid.

Marceline:'' she was breathing heavily, her body was healing itself on it's own," You didn't, have to do that…," She saw Deadpool grab his gun as he remove a bullet from the chamber. He popped the lead out, and poured the gunpowder on his cut. Then he pulled out a lighter and set gunpowder on fire, casuing it to spark and seal his wound shut.

Deadpool:" F***!,"

Marceline:" Right, no healing factor. That looked like it hurt."

Deadpool:" Was that you?," he asked trying to change the subject," did you….back there….you know."

Marceline: she started to blush "SO what? You never heard a girl fart before?"

Deadpool:" Not really, but sure got their attention," They were wasting time Deadpool thought. His legs buckled when he tried to stand up. Pain shot through his arm when he flex his fore arm, making sure the wound stopped bleeding.

Time wasn't on their side at the moment. Deadpool grabbed Marceline's arm and they continued down the hall. Marceline stopped Deadpool when they reached a set of metallic doors. It was the elevator to head down to The Princesses lab. Deadpool pushed the down arrow to open the doors. One button was labeled "Lab" with a key hole next to it. Marceline grabbed the key form her pocket, stuck it in the key , turned it, and pressed the lab floor button. The elevator started moving down its shaft, heading deeper and deeper inside the castle. When the Elevator came to a complete stop, the doors flew open like in Star Trek. Slowly they stepped out, walking aimlessly in the dark. Marceline felt around the wall looking for a switch. To help her out, Deadpool took out his lighter again to see if there was a light switch. She found one and flicked it as soon as she could. Lights started illuminating the room, showing them that they had reached their destination.

Marceline:" *gasp*," she froze, covering her mouth to keep her from screaming. Her eyes darted left and right, each image bringing back memories of Lemongrab Castle. These were the people she illed with Deadpool. It was an act of mercy, but to have it end like this.

Princess Bubblegum's Lab looked like an autopsy room. Several bodies of the Lemon people were cut open, their guts on display with their body parts sawed off and put in jars filled with formaldehyde. Marceline couldn't help but look at one jar, because it was looking back at her. Those were the eyes of the Lemon person who thanked Marceline for ending her suffering. She was about to cry when Deadpool tried to snap her out of it.

Deadpool:" Marcy?," he waved his hand in front of her eyes," Marceline, I need you to focus, look at me," he took off his mask," Look at me Marceline."

Marceline:'' I swear….I'm going to choke that B**CH within an inch of her F***ING LIFE !," she was getting hysterical.

Deadpool:" Look at me Marcy," He grabbed her shoulders gently , she was still healing form the silver," Stay focused on me, can you do that?" She nodded her head and continued to focus on Deadpool's eyes. " I know that image just buried itself in your head, but you can't think of that now. If we don't get the evidence to stop the Princess, their deaths were for nothing. Focus on that."

Marceline:"*sniff* you're right," she fought through the trauma," got any other tricks to distract me?"

FART

Deadpool:" That work for ya?," Who couldn't laugh at a fart, especially at a serious moment like this. Marceline cracked a smile.

Marceline:" Heh heh, surprisingly yes."

Deadpool:" Good," he grabbed a digital camera from one of his pouches," Let's get this over with, Pinkie Pie must be driving Peppermint Butler crazy."

It didn't take long for both of them to find "good" pictures. They took photos of the room by itself, as well as a few bodies that really showed the Princesses dark side to science. After they got what they thought was enough picture, they went back to the elevator. Part one was finshed, they thought. The next step was to summon Prismo back so he could grant Deadpool his wish to get his Healing Factor back. The elevator stopped on their floor. They walked to the door as it opened, but only to be stopped by Gumball knights, drawing their swords at Deadpool and Marceline. Banana Guards were behind the gumball knights with spears. In the center of their welcoming party, was a figure Deadpool was unfamiliar with.

Princess Bubblegum:" tsk tsk tsk, did you really think you could get in my lab that easily?"

Deadpool:" Ummm, maybe, but I'll settle for a courtesy head start to escape if you're feeling generous."

Princess Bubblegum:" Not a chance, grab them."

Two Banana guards moved forward to yank Marceline and Deadpool out of the elevator. Marceline was being pulled by her pony tail by the guard as he swung a silver chain around her neck. Deadpool thought he heard steam escaping, until he spotted the Banana guard forcing Marceline to the floor as she started to scream from the pain. Deadpool slammed his fist through his guards teeth. Two more tackled him to the ground. He struggled with them until they each grabbed one of his arms and stood him up to present to the Princess.

Princess Bubblegum:" So, this is the famous Deadpool," she started to pace in front of him, knowing her couldn't do anything as long as the guard pressed on Deadpool's injured wrist.

Deadpool:" I see, you too have heard about my Arse?"

Princess Bubblegum:" You're what?"

Deadpool:" oops, sorry. It's getting to the end and the writer is recycling old jokes," The Banana guard press his thumb on Deadpool's injured wrist, sending jolts of pain through his body. His body went limp and he ended up on his knees. The guards still held his arms so he wouldn't be a threat.

Princess Bubblegum:" Funny, but that's all I've heard about you," She walked up right in front of Deadpool," I've done my research on your escapades. People have started calling you the Dark Jester. Making morbid jokes no matter what or who you destroy, manipulating people by justifying your barbarism and selling it as some Nihilistic crusade."

Deadpool:" You make it sound so sexy," he stuck rear end out to one of the guards" Can you tell your Fruit of the Loom lacky to get my mask from my pouch and put it on me? Looking at you sickens me and the mask helps my gag reflex."

Princess Bubblegum:" A dying man's last request. Fine, put his mask on, children need a place to crawl into before they realize their mistake."

One of her Gumball Knights reached in and grabbed his mask. He stretched it over his till it started to slip on like a fishnet stalking.

Deadpool:" The eye mesh goes in front of my eyes genius," He had put it on him backwards. He Gumball Knight took it with both his mechanical hands and spun it around till Deadpool's eyes could be seen." Ouch, dude be gentle."

Princess Bubblegum:" See what happens Marcy, when you blindly trust idiots like this?" Marceline couldn't speak. The silver chains around her neck made her weak. Weak enough for a guard to still have her by the pony tail to keep her head up. Princess Bubblegum brought her attention to Marceline. " You know what else you get for trusting people like a child, bring her in here."

Peppermint Butler:" Yes your majesty," Peppmint Butler appeared behind Princess Bubblegum's shadow, dragging Pinkie Pie with the rope he used to tie her up. She was on her side, tied up in a fetal position. Pinkie Pie spotted Deadpool , and tried to shout his name, nothing came out. Her head bobbed left and right, frustrated since that was the only body part that wasn't tied down.

Deadpool:' What did you do to her?," The Princess bent down to reach Pinkie Pie mask. She grabbed the bottom and pulled it up, showing that her entire mouth was wrapped in Duck Tape. Deadpool balled up his fists in anger. The guards tightened their grip on him.

Princess Bubblegum:" Don't get mad, Peppermint Butler wanted to cut out her tongue."

Deadpool:" Count your lucky stars he didn't," He had daggers in his eyes when looked at Peppermint Butler," So where's your tongue? Did you lose it kissing the B***es $$hole?"

Princess Bubblegum:" Peppermint Butler , my louisville slugger if you please,"

Peppermint Butler:" Your bat Milady," he offered her the bat in his hands.

Princess Bubblegum:" Marceline, Pink haired bimbo," Marceline and Pinkie Pie got worried. They looked at the Princess, fearing the worst with what she was about to do with that bat." Swear allegiance to me, and I'll kill him quickly, refuse….and he dies with a few extra bruises." Marceline and Pinkie Pie tried their best to struggle out of their restraints. All they could muster was giving flipping the Princess their middle fingers.

Deadpool:" HAH, that's my girls…

CRACK

The Princess brought the bat down on his right shoulder, causing him to convulse through the pain while being restrained. The Banana Guard let his right arm go and watched it lay limp on the floor. She swung the bat down striking the wrist he cut so Marceline could feed off of. It reopened and started squirting blood with enough force to reach Marceline's face. Then the Princess heard someone coming up the stairs to the floor she was on.

Finn:" P-BUBS, I GOT HERE AS SOON AS I COULD."

Princess Bubblegum:" Oh Finn," She tossed the bat behind her," I'm so glad you're here. We've captured Deadpool and is associates. " Finn moved his way in through the crowd of Gumball Knights and Banana guards, only to see the man he'd been sent to capture, on the floor grasping at his hand that was still bleeding, and one of his best friends suffering from the silver chain around her neck.

Finn:" What the math is all of this Princess?," Marceline wanted to tell him everything. She could only mouth the words to him, but he couldn't read lips. She felt helpless. The hero of Ooo couldn't help her now.

Deadpool:" So…ghhhh," He groined while trying to get up. The guards grabbed his wrists again, and shoved him back on his knees," So you're Finn, I'd offer you a Mentos if I could," He stared up at the Princess," This is kid you get to do all your dirty work. Heh, and you B**ch about putting your faith in people you think are idiots, or do you get off trying to act like you know what's best for everyone? No offense kid," looking back at Finn.

Finn:" Umm none taken."

Princess Bubblegum:" Finn, don't acknowledge him, it'll only feed his ego."

Deadpool:'' hah, the only chance you'd get me to feel better is by sucking my cashew lollipop till you get to the nut, BOOYA!"

Princess Bubblegum:" I'm done entertaining this idiot, Finn, take him out so we can get back to sleep."

Finn:" Whoah whoah whoah, no due process? You just want me to kill him while he's down."

Princess Bubblegum:" He is a stranger to Ooo, the law doesn't apply to him at all."

Finn:" Come on princess, I'm not gonna hurt the guy while he's down."

Deadpool:" Good man, fair fights always end in honor, respect and free beers, remember that when your balls drop."

Princess Bubblegum:" Finn, I commend you on keeping standing by your principles, but now is to the time to be cute, I'll say this one more time, Kill Deadpool so justice can be served."

Those were the same principles that made him the White Knight of Ooo, and now he's being told to forget them for a quick execution. Finn looked at a crippled Deadpool, then over to Marceline who could barely keep her head up, and finally Deadpool's Pink haired groupie with the same fashion sense. He took his years of service to the princess and weighed it against the events leading up to know. Finn turned his head to the princess.

Finn:" Why don't you call Hunson to do this, I'm sure he can bury this with everything else you've been hiding." Princess Bubblegum eyes grew wide, she was busted, and by the kid she once said was as dumb as she was smart.

Deadpool:" HAH, Perfect plot twist. Guess you didn't expect him to pull that fact out of his butt." The Princess had enough. Her web of lies was getting tangled with every second Deadpool lived. She got impatient trying to put an ending all of this. After taking a deep breath, her hand wondered to Finn's back, grabbing his sword from his backpack. No one knew what she was doing and didn't bother to stop her.

SLASH

THUD

All eyes were on Deadpool's head as it rolled to Princess Bubblegum's feet. Blood was shooting up from Deadpool's lifeless body like a geyser, and falling on everyone present. Finally, the princess got her hands dirty. She still held on to Finn's sword, baptized in Deadpool's blood , feeling the rush of energy after killing a living person.

If Marceline couldn't speak before, she sure as S*** couldn't do it now. Her eyes met with Deadpool's severed head. She forced them shut, giving in to her emotions, tears ran down her face as she tried her best to scream. It was like watching a deaf person suffer when they walked into a group of people talking. Her body gave up, she fell to the floor, crying her eyes out. Deadpool was more than a friend to her. Thoughts of them raced through her head, trying to savior every moment. The worst thought that went through her mind, was that after this was all over, she was gonna ask if wanted to stay with her in Ooo. Being Immortal meant you got to watch everyone you love die. Only few people in her life were exempt from that. Deadpool was one of them because of his Healing Factor. Now she had lost the hope of finding someone to laugh with for eternity.

Unlike Marceline, Pinkie Pie never saw one of her best friends die. She took it pretty bad. Adrenaline started pumping through her veins as her eyes become blood shot. Marceline gave in to her emotions, as did Pinkie Pie. However, her emotions didn't cripple her. Thanks to Eris giving Pinkie Pie a little extra crazy in her step, her mind went blank, and at that moment she was in full berserker mode.

Princess Bubblegum:" Fantastic, I'll have to bath in bleach to get this crap out."

Pinkie Pie:" MMMMMMM," every inch of Pinkie Pie fought against the rope keeping her tied up. The rope dug further into her body the harder she struggled. Her head tilted upwards until she was facing the ceiling while she kept screaming through the tape on her mouth….until they all broke under Pinkie Pies new found strength. " HMMMM,"rip NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The ropes that subdued her were ripped apart. She stood up, tears falling out of her mask, the same mask she saw on the floor still covering Deadpool's severed head. All she could see now was red. Everyone back away from here, not knowing what she would do next. The first one to feel her wrath was Peppermint Butler. He tried to find a place to run, but the hallway was too crowded for him to escape. It wouldn't matter anyway, Pinkie Pie started stepping on his back, cracking his entire body. She kept at it until what was left of him was bits and pieces. Her boot was now grinding his remains into a fine powder, only leaving his uniform and the Pinkie Pie's butcher knives he confiscated. She picked them up, and started slicing her way through the guards. They all fled in terror, only to be stabbed to death. It didn't matter how far someone of them got, Pinkie Pie would catch up to them. The only people to make who survived were Marceline, Finn and Princess Bubblegum. The only reason Finn and the Princess escaped was because Pinkie Pie just saw figures, to her it didn't matter who was at the receiving end of her blades, just as long as her blood lust was satisfied

_3 days Later_

Newspapers were flying off every shelf with two particular juicy articles. One covered the story on the Ice King's winter rampage in the Fire Kingdom. Thanks to Deadpools little gift, he was able to bring a new "Ice Age" look to Flame Princesses Empire. Snowcapped volcanos were cold enough to stop the everlasting flow of lava. Snow fell from every corner of the Fire Kingdom, keeping all its inhabitants form venturing outside.

The news about Princess Bubblegum's lack of effort to help the Lemon People was on the front page. Everyone in Ooo knew that she knew about how Lemongrab tortured his subjects and not only did she ignore it, thinking the situation would handle itself, she tried to cover it up by getting Hunson to get rid of anyone who knew the truth. Pictures of her lab plastered the front page. They came from an unknown source who would only identify himself as "Prince Hot-bod."

One article didn't stand out as much. The obituary section mentioned that a service was being held at the Candy Kingdom graveyard that day. Only four people showed up, not including Starchie. Finn, Jake, Marceline, and Pinkie Pie gathered around one headstone. The epitaph read " Here Lies Wade "Deadpool" Wilson. A man who taught us that bad guys, can make the best good guys."

Marceline and Pinkie Pie had moved into Finn and Jake's tree fort until Marceline house was rebuilt. Pinkie Pie became good friends with Finn despite trying to kill him. She even showed Jake how to make a Chimi Cherry Changa. Jake tried his best to get everyone on good spirits. Finn told him everything that happened at the castle, but since Jake wasn't there, he didn't know the level of pain they all went through. Jake pulled out the big guns by bringing his kids over to the tree fort to meet everyone. Sometimes Finn would stay up late with Marceline and hold her while she cried her heart out when thoughts of Deadpool got to be too much for her.

_Candy Kingdom Cemetary_

When everyone left Deadpool's service, Starchie finished filling up Deadpool's grave with soil. Beads of sweat dripped from Starchie's face. He grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler he kept near his shed. The cold water helped him beat the heat as took a few sips and poured some of it on his head.

Starchie:" Phew, that sure hit the spot,"

Starchie went back to work on Deadpool's grave. He put a fresh layer of soil on top of his grave so something could grow. As he continued to work, he noticed that the cool feeling he got from pouring water on his head still felt cold. He ignored it and continued to work. For some reason it state to get colder, and colder. In less than 5 seconds it got so bad he could see his breath. Starchie started getting paranoid.

Starchie:" Dag nabbit Ice king, Starchie told you once , he'll tell ya agin to," He thought he was going to be looking at the Ice King for a second. Instead, Starchie saw a woman walking towards Deadpool's grave. She walking so much as hovering though. The women was as pale as the moonlight, wearing a black corset that showed off her ample breasts. Her skirt consisted of black silk strips, flowing over what Starchie though was her legs, but there was some kind of mist that followed her so it was hard to see. A cape draped across her back with a hood that didn't quite cover her face. Strachie was getting weirded out. He look at her make up, and frankly it make look creepy. Lines of black make up made it seem like she wanted to look like a skeleton. Her eyes also had black make up around them, but the eyes themselves were white as a ghost.

Starchie:'' uh heheh, How ya doing good lookin, dropping off or picking up," His laughed was tainted by the cold chill he felt around her," Sorry bout that, Starchie tells jokes when he gets…," he was interrupted by her answering his joke of a question.

?:" I'm picking up a dear friend of mine."

Starchie:" hehehehe," He chuckled nervously," well the only friends you'll find here are the worms."

The women stood in front of Deadpool's grave, stretching her arms out and focused her gaze, thinking about Deadpool's coffin. What it might look like, or how sexy he'd look in it. Suddenly, the ground started to shake. The soil Starchie put on Deadpool's grave was rising and falling to the side. Something was coming out of Deadpool's grave, and this women was doing.

?:" Would you mind giving us some privacy?"

Starchie:" You mean you and the," he figured it out," you don't have to ask Starchie twice to get the heck out of dodge." Starchie ran as fast as he could, thinking this was some kind of new Zombie Apocalypse.

Something came out of Deadpool's grave. It was levitating in the air while the dirt was falling from it. It was Deadpool's Coffin. It was just your ordinary pine box, big enough to fit him and his decapitated head. After the coffin was lifted from the grave site, the women waved her hands to bring the coffin closer to her. It was obvious that she knew magic, but something about her screamed trouble. She set Deadpool's casket down close enough for her to push the lid open.

?:" Time to wake up lover."

Deadpool:" YAWN! Holy crap, how long was I out?"

*Not long enough. We've been gone the last couple of chapters, while you're still the main character. When do we get our own chapter where we talk and you just sit there laughing at our jokes?*

( I doubt the fans would like Deadpool being reduced to a living sitcom laugh track)

Deadpool:" Wait, you mean shows aren't recorded in front of a live audience…. …DUDES! Oh my glob I've missed you guys."

*We missed ya too buddy. Who's Glob? Did you join a cult while we were gone?*

Deadpool:" I have no idea, more importantly , how'd I get my Healing factor back, and why am I in a coffin."

?:" Yoo hoo," Deadpool look up to see a women looking at him with bedroom eyes," Got room in there for two?"

*Dude just say yes, we're in the perfect setting for an Addams Family Themed porno*

Deadpool:" DEATH! Is that you? Long time no see babe, what brings you here?"

Death:" My sister sends her regards. It's funny when she gets frantic after losing one of her favorite toys."

Deadpool:" Eris is your sister? "

*Plot twist!, YEEEAAAHHAAA*

( Is it wrong that I want to see them together licking ice cream from the same cone? Eeyup, I need a towel)

Death:" Your last ditch effort saved you my love. The old man who you gave the Cosmic Cube to, caused enough chaos for my sister to hear your payers. I arrived just in time ward off the curse that sealed your mutant powers. It was a simple curse to be honest with you. You need to plan for these kind of dilemmas."

Deadpool:" I'll get right on that….Tomorrow? But first I need to pay a visit to father of the year."

The next chapter will be the last one for the Adventure Time Saga. Thank you everyone for reading my fan fics. The reviews you guys leave is what keeps me motivated to write more. Which is why I have my own idea to where I want to send Deadpool next, unless someone has a better idea.


End file.
